V.25 No.15 | 04/14/2016
The Daily Word in Animals, Science and Exploiting Teen Girls
By Megan Reneau [ Thu Apr 14 2016 12:17 PM ]
So a cop got basically no punishment for following an unarmed man and shooting him dead.
Could this simple solution really help end sexual assault on American campuses?
Bernie Bros come in all sizes and varieties. Fantastic.
Animals don't give a fuck about you and your nonsense.
In a survey of over 1,000 people, researchers were able to confirm something everyone already knew. What a good way to spend time and money.
Have you ever been so infatuated with someone that you didn't notice a crime happening right in front of you?
“I’m 28. I make $4 million a year. What do you do?” yells the man-child douche-bag, David Brackett.
Some horrible young men in town have been caught exploiting teen girls.
V.25 No.14 | 04/07/2016
The Daily Word in Boko Haram, cute cats and the island of 20,000 graves
By Renee Chavez [ Wed Apr 13 2016 12:05 PM ]
FoodNetwork's "Chopped" is looking for contestants from New Mexico.
On the other hand, some people shouldn't even enter the kitchen for their own safety.
Sandia Peak owners want to ruin the serenity of the Sandias with a goddamn rollercoaster.
Here is the lapel camera video from when the recent Amber Alert ended with the discovery of 9-month-old Ariana.
Boko Haram has proved itself to be even more evil by increasing their number of child suicide bombers 10 fold.
Governor McCrory now wants to protect employee rights but still doesn't see the problem with his anti-LGBT bill.
The island of 20,000 graves is not Stephen King's newest novel.
Two Russian warplanes simulated an attack on a US guided missile ship.
Pictures of animals help improve your mood, so here ya go.
V.25 No.10 | 03/10/2016
The Daily Word in Cat Accents, Tasty Plastic and Appreciative Robots
By Joshua Lee [ Sun Mar 13 2016 8:03 PM ]
Do cats have dialects? A new study plans on wasting five years and a shit-ton of money to find out the difference between mreow and meow.
NM lawmakers barely use their work email, and some of them seemed to have trouble responding to records request.(Ahem. We're looking at you, Gov. Martinez).
A new bacteria has been discovered that eats plastic. Keep it away from Heidi Montag!
No one pays attention to all the hard work you put in at the office? Don't start spitting in the water cooler; get yourself a Pat-On-the-Back machine. (The manufacturers of Pat-On-the-Back do not approve the use of their product for the patting of anything other than backs).
Dude found passed outin his car in the middle of Coors at 2pm with a bag of shrooms in the back seat next to his toddler. There's a lesson in there...
Hyperloop CEO showed off concepts for "augmented windows." Picture looking out a train at the Triassic period. Weird.
V.25 No.4 | 01/28/2016
The Daily Word in Google Cardboard, an unhappy anniversary and a cat mobbed by toy mice
By Geoffrey Plant [ Tue Feb 2 2016 3:54 PM ]
Today is the anniversary of the discovery of 11 women's bodies on Albuquerque's West Mesa.
Google is bringing their "Google Cardboard" virtual reality to local schools.
This woman is demanding a lifetime supply of Kit Kat bars.
Government officials worry about stronger encryption thwarting their surveillance
Uber drivers complain that they aren't being compensated fairly.
Here's a great cat picture from the internet.
V.24 No.51 | 12/17/2015
Lucky Paws via Facebook
A Howlin' Good Time
Sunday, Dec 27: Howl-i-day Give Back Tour 2015
By Megan Reneau [ Fri Dec 25 2015 11:00 AM ]
Help support the city's adoption site with the highest adoption rate and lowest return rate. Make a donation and select a new dog or cat toy to go into the giant stocking.
The Daily Word in a cafe for cats, a lost Lobo player, and the Beatles
By Cerridwen Stucky [ Wed Dec 23 2015 11:03 AM ]
As of tomorrow night Apple will no longer hold the monopoly on the Beatles.
An analysis of political branding in 2015.
Though Donald Trump is now leading republican polls, Huffington Post tells us why we may still have hope.
Bernie Sanders lays a sick burn on Donald Trump and that's all I wanted to happen.
V.24 No.46 | 11/12/2015
John Phelan / Wikimedia Commons
The House on Silver Avenue
By August March [ Wed Nov 11 2015 9:31 PM ]
I am going to need another tug off that bottle of Thunderbird if I am going to go down there and rescue one of those kittens said Charlie to the spare but shabby living room of the house on Silver Avenue.
Chauncy was in the room under the stairs which contained a sink, a shower and crapper. He did not hear Charlie talking nonsense about the cats because he was getting ready for his evening shift at the steakhouse. Chauncy was frantically trying to coax chicken fat stains out of his black trousers with a toothbrush and a bottle of Florida Water.
The others were in the first-floor bedroom, across from all of that. They couldn't hear Charlie either. Michael was smoking dirt weed out of a pipe he had carved from an apple, reclining like royalty on the bed while his stunned girlfriend Sherri sat in the corner picking glitter out of her hair and counting Jeffersons. They moved in last week and Charlie knew them about as well as any of the other punk rockers from across the street.
Charlie looked around and realized he was speaking to empty space, chatting with the void. He got up and dragged himself to the kitchen. Tim Lodgeson was in there cooking a chicken in the microwave. He had the whole thing in the oven for ten minutes while the two of them sat around jawing about school. Charlie couldn't make heads or tails of what Lodgeson told him. It was something about forests and capitalism.
When the meat came out it was gray. It had the appearance of plastic. Tim took the bird and skewered it with a big silver serving fork he had taken from the cafeteria last semester, around Thanksgiving. He started gnawing on the chicken as if he had not eaten for a week, like he had conquered a small but vicious dinosaur with teeth and technology.
Charlie excused himself politely, gagged and walked out onto the back porch. He could hear the kittens in the basement mewling for their mother. The hell with the Thunderbird, he thought, I sure would like a new pet cat. Further reasoning that such an outcome would be a pleasant surprise for his girlfriend, he sauntered down the stairs and into the darkness.
He felt his way around for a bit until he could reach out and pull on the chain that turned on the light bulb in the middle of basement. Sure enough, there was a litter of cats in the basement. Their mother was nowhere to be seen. Charlie crept over to snatch up a tiny calico.
An eruption of teeth and fur and hair and blood coincided with that action as the hidden mother pounced. The living fury would not come off him, though he clawed and clawed at it. He retreated and was filled up with a queasy combination of shame and horror. The damn thing finally let up when he got to the door, lunging for the knob and hitting his head on the concrete as he fell toward the yard.
Back inside of the house on Silver Avenue, Michael and Sherri had crept out their room and were watching Hee Haw in the big front room. Chauncy was in the kitchen critiquing Tim's culinary procedures as he attempted to saw a leg off of what was left of the poultry experiment. Chauncy was dressed for work now. He looked like a million bucks and was being awfully careful not to get any schmaltz on his waiter's uniform as he danced around Tim's meaty methodologies.
As the two went on and on about the wonders of microwave cooking and with the mellow sounds of George Jones drifting through the whole place, Charlie entered from the porch. He asked for a wet towel and wondered aloud where his bottle of wine might have gotten to. Saturday night had just begun.
V.24 No.42 | 10/15/2015
Saturday, Oct 24: Watermelon Mtn Ranch Halloween Pet Costume Contest
By Cerridwen Stucky [ Thu Oct 22 2015 5:00 PM ]
Dress up your pet and win prizes!
V.24 No.36 | 9/3/2015
The Daily Word: Zombies on a plane, living life on a train and the FBI getting sued
By Desiree Garcia [ Fri Aug 28 2015 1:52 PM ]
Virginia teen faces 11 years in prison for controlling Twitter account in supports of ISIS and helps friend travel to join group.
V.24 No.22 | 5/28/2015
The Daily Word in sumo wrestling, salmonella, Santolina and Sun Ra
By Constance Moss [ Fri May 22 2015 11:29 AM ]
Barclays plans to build Santolina: an entirely new city just outside Albuquerque.
40,000 bees were found under this woman’s bedroom floor.
Italy warns consumers of a Prosecco shortage.
A salmonella outbreak in the US linked to sushi tuna has sickened more thank 50 people.
An adult dating site was hacked, publicly revealing its users’ kinky turn-ons.
Here’s a glimpse into the life of a sumo wrestler.
These portly cats and dogs are participating in a pet slimming contest.
V.24 No.8 | 02/19/2015
This Week's Instagram Photo Contest Winner!
#alibipets February 13-19, 2015
By Amelia Olson [ Fri Feb 20 2015 3:58 PM ]
This week's contest simultaneously melted our hearts and brains. It's hard to decide a winner when every dang picture is the cutest thing on planet earth.
Here's a few of our favorites:
But since there can only be one winner, we all agreed Instagram user amandastclaire's picture turned our hearts into applesauce!
Congratulations, amandastclaire! We have $10 alibi bucks for you and a surprise waiting for you at our office! You can email firstname.lastname@example.org to redeem your prizes!
Stay tuned for next week's photo contest guidelines!
V.24 No.4 |
The Daily Word In Zombie Cats, Early Menses and Disco
By Amelia Olson [ Wed Jan 28 2015 12:04 PM ]
The new Ghostbusters movie has an all female cast!
Drinking soda may cause early menses.
This woman had 13 pounds of pot hidden in her car and had no idea. I’ve only ever found a kind of scratched cd labeled “DAD’S MIX” in my car :(
A thoughtful piece on Tent City.
In Florida they have zombie cats!
Here is a disco version of "Suicide Is Painless" .
Some tips on surviving catastrophe.
and it's Sarah McLachlan's birthday today!
V.23 No.30 | 7/24/2014
photos by Bruce Wong
Chomps the Cat Is Burque’s Sassiest Commentator
By Genevieve Mueller
She’s a cat who interviews food. Don’t ask it to make sense—just let the weirdness wash over you.
V.23 No.17 |
The Daily Word in a Yonkers cat graveyard, the "gypsy paver" and plastic selfies
By Mark Lopez [ Fri Apr 25 2014 9:45 AM ]
All it takes is a few racist comments to get 'em running for the hills.
A drunk Australian passenger caused a “hijack” alert. Probably shouldn't have what he's having.
President Obama and South Korea's President Park Geun-hye warn North Korea if they follow through with nuclear threats, they could face some hefty sanctions.
Apparently a Connecticut high school student was stabbed for turning down a prom date proposal.
For New Mexico residents: If you wanna get your driveways re-paved, this guy probably wouldn't work out.
Police are investigating the discovery of a decomposing body on the desert mesa northwest of Rio Rancho.
Steve Casaus, the stepfather of Omaree Varela (a child who was beaten to death in December, allegedly by his mother), has been “segregated” from other inmates because of the “high-profile” case.
Governor Susana Martinez' chief of staff used government credit cards for personal purchases, but he insists that since he reimbursed the state, he wasn't trying rob tax payers.
A woman underwent plastic surgery to look better in her selfies. Let's use internet jargon for this one: SMH.
V.23 No.11 | 3/13/2014
The Daily Word in funny drug news and other things.
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Mar 10 2014 11:21 AM ]
Did Flight MH370 disintigrate in midair?
A smoldering body was found in San Diego.
A Decatur woman with Alzheimer’s was living with her husband’s dead body for a month.
In Greeley, stoners can’t get haircuts at Hugo’s Barber Shop. LSD is probably okay, though.
Hipsters like obscure bands, then stop liking them when they achieve commercial success.
Mercury, the cat with no arms, amuses humans by walking upright.
Drug users are reportedly being extorted by people posing as DEA agents. Drug users who are approached by these fake agents should, um, contact the DEA immediately.
An Albuquerque man is in custody after police learned he had been holding his wife hostage in their home for the past four days. The wife escaped and called police from a neighbor’s house when the man went to get cigarettes. The man then hid from police in his mother’s house. Drugs may have been involved.
Tesla’s new battery factory might be in New Mexico. Deja vu.
Happy birthday, Chuck Norris.
Assistance Dogs of the West's 21st Annual Graduation Ceremony at Armory for the Arts Theater
Dogs graduate to take on new roles within the judicial system, veterans’ groups, the FBI, and help individuals with disabilities. Hosted by Ali McGraw.
Fundraiser Night at Flying Star Café
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