V.23 No.46 |
The Daily Word in how not to get raped by Bill Cosby
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Nov 19 2014 9:01 AM ]
Good morning, it's Wednesday, November 19,
the detective who joked about shooting James Boyd right before he actually shot James Boyd is retiring from the force. It is unknown whether or not he is the same officer who shouted “Booyah!” after pulling the trigger,
researchers are studying the last election to determine how much impact voter ID laws had on turnout
and it turns out that Barbie is a terrible computer engineer. Luckily, she has boys to help her.
Meanwhile, much like pudding pop commercials in the ‘80s, the rape allegations against Bill Cosby keep on coming!
But this CNN host has some helpful tips on how to avoid being raped by Bill Cosby. Listen up ladies!
and Netflix has decided that now might not be the best time to air their Bill Cosby comedy special.
Have a great day!
V.23 No.45 |
The Daily Word in Bill Cosby, cops taking people's stuff, and rocket-powered Frenchmen
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Nov 12 2014 9:29 AM ]
A Las Cruces city attorney offered tips on how police departments can make more money: Just take people’s stuff, even if they’re not guilty of a crime. “It’s a gold mine!” he said. “We could be like Czars!”
One of the controversial and soon-to-be-dissolved Mars Hill Church’s leaders will soon be holding services in Albuquerque.
Noted comedian and possible rapist Bill Cosby just discovered that a lot of people think he’s probably a rapist.
And behold! The world’s fastest bicycle-mounted Frenchman!
V.23 No.42 |
The Daily Word in drive-thru house hunting, murderer look-alikes, and a very Kirk Cameron Halloween
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Oct 22 2014 10:43 AM ]
Some guy turned two apartments in the NE Heights into his personal garage. The current residents aren’t too pleased.
We at the Alibi are bored with freaking out about Ebola. Let’s freak out about tuberculosis instead.
Cop killer Eric Frein is still at large in the PA woods, which is especially bad news for this other guy who looks just like him and would like for the police to stop pointing guns at him and making him lie on the ground.
The cost of the Hobbit trilogy is edging ever-closer to the $1 billion mark, perhaps due to the enormous costs associated with feeding a live dragon.
Syria is the hot new vacation destination for theocracy-inclined teenagers in Colorado this fall.
Good news, everybody! Kirk Cameron says it’s okay to celebrate Halloween!
V.23 No.25 | 6/19/2014
The Daily Word in vodka, vaginas and X-rays.
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Jun 23 2014 11:08 AM ]
Soccer fever may lead to other illnesses.
A German vagina sculpture trapped an ugly American.
The new X-ray gun can see what you’re hiding.
Introducing the $250 hangover cure.
Vodka erases bad smells as well as bad memories.
Stress causes heart attacks by over-producing white blood cells.
Times Square weirdos face a costume crackdown.
Are the French rude? Mais non!
There was a fatal hit-and-run at Carlisle and Indian School.
There was a fatal crash on 2nd Street.
Mushy sparks flew when I saw you.
Happy birthday, Bryan Brown.
V.23 No.20 | 5/15/2014
The Daily Word in baby names, APD sidearms and a Black Mass at Harvard.
By Carl Petersen [ Fri May 9 2014 11:18 AM ]
Mexican drug cartels will find you in Minnesota.
Noah and Sophia are the new most popular baby names.
In Saudi Arabia, a web editor was sentenced to 1,000 lashes.
A woman beat her child with a baseball bat for clogging the toilet.
It’s hard to make it through a whole song.
Check out these douche chill celebrity photos.
A Harvard student group plans to hold a Black Mass.
APD officers may no longer carry their lucky guns on duty.
KOAT did a nice story about the mentally ill in New Mexico.
There were silent protests at Thursday’s city council meeting.
What’s happening in ABQ today?
Happy birthday, Billy Joel.
V.23 No.19 | 5/8/2014
The Daily Word in Cinco de Mayo, an APD shooting and vampires had it right.
By Carl Petersen [ Mon May 5 2014 3:37 PM ]
It’s Cinco de Mayo.
A gunman was killed in an APD standoff.
Blood transfusions may hold the secret to eternal youth.
X-Men director Bryan Singer is facing additional sexual allegations.
It’s raining spiders. Hallelujah, it’s raining spiders. Amen.
Here’s the latest in data storage.
Some lady doesn’t know if she’s using the personals right.
Happy birthday, Tammy Wynette.
V.23 No.5 |
The Daily Word in Phillip Seymour Hoffman, the origin of the Universe and goat simulation
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Feb 5 2014 8:14 AM ]
Bill Nye the Science Guy and Ken Ham the Creationist Man finally went head to head in the "origin of the Universe" debate last night. Condensed version: Ham thinks God did it, while Nye says something doesn't add up about that whole Noah's Ark business.
Some New Mexicans are freaked out by the snow that fell this week. They say it doesn't melt. I was going to test this myself but all the snow, um, melted.
CVS is no longer enabling your nicotine addiction. But the guy hanging out in the parking lot will be happy to help you try something harder.
Overnight raids by the NYPD uncovered drug dealing suspects with a possible connection to Philip Seymour Hoffman's death.
Maybe you're feeling a little schlubby this morning and you wonder if it's because Mercury is in retrograde. Here's a way for you to find out.
Big news in the video game world: the people's desire to pretend to be a goat will not go unanswered. Coffee Stain Studio's Goat Simulator may soon enter Beta development.
V.23 No.2 | 1/9/2014
Eric Williams ericwphoto.com
Chan Can Cook
And Chopstix Chinese Cuisine proves it
By Ari LeVaux
Ari LeVaux checks out Jackie Chan’s favorite Albuquerque restaurant.
V.21 No.8 | 2/23/2012
Courtesy of HCI Books
Make dead celebs’ dishes the life of your Oscar party
By Christie Chisholm
Liberace’s sticky buns. That’s Frank DeCaro’s favorite recipe in his freshly published Dead Celebrity Cookbook (HCI Books, $19.95), and the reason has nothing to do with taste—although DeCaro says the packaged crescent rolls doused in rum, butter and enough seasoning to spice a pumpkin pie are dangerously delicious. “It just kills me,” says the Sirius Radio talk show host and former “Daily Show” film critic, “but only if he’s in on the joke. If he’s not in on the joke, it’s just sad.”
V.21 No.5 |
The Daily Word in the Old Main, supergiant and Anonymous
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Feb 2 2012 11:01 AM ]
U.S. to ease its combat mission in Afghanistan.
Burqueños prison gang exhibits civic pride.
Foreigners stick their foreign fingers in our chile market.
Reies Lopez Tijerina, a Chicano activist, mounted an armed raid to make a citizen's arrest of New Mexico's district attorney in the '60s. He's speaking at the Statehouse today.
Tour the Old Main, home of the lethal 1980 prison riot.
To protect his riches, this wealthy man adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend as his daughter.
Anonymous hacks emails and accuses Ron Paul of being linked to a neo-Nazi group.
Washington the state passes a bill legalizing same-sex marriage.
Komen yanked its funding from Planned Parenthood, so supporters around the country donated enough in a single day to make up the difference.
Baratunde Thurston on how to be Black.
Remember when we sold guns to cartels so we could track them? And then it didn't work out so well?
This cheerleader can dead lift 250.
Meet supergiant—not the band, the amphipod.
Marchers in Egypt protest military mishandling of a soccer riot that killed 74.
The most common regrets of folks at the end of their lives.
Rest in peace:
Sonic Youth collaborator and artist Mike Kelley
"Soul Train" creator Don Cornelius
Poet Wislawa Szymborska
Boxing trainer Angelo Dundee
The man who played Mr. Pitt on "Seinfeld," Ian Abercrombie
V.20 No.14 |
The Daily Word: Tuition hikes, Beverly Cleary, burka ban, Demi Lovato
By Marisa Demarco [ Wed Apr 13 2011 9:05 AM ]
County official's son killed by APD.
An Arizona bill that would legalize guns in all public and government buildings is almost through the legislature. People in Tucson don't like it.
How is Fukushima NOT like Chernobyl?
Mom drives her minivan and three kids into the Hudson River but lets one boy go.
The first loose-lipped mob boss takes the stand.
President Obama is going to weigh in on the deficit.
Burka ban takes effect in France, and two women have been arrested.
Death toll hits 116 in the mass grave in Mexico.
The Facebook guy is maybe a jerk.
Sugar Ray Leonard eliminated from "Dancing With the Stars."
An interview with author Beverly Cleary (she wrote the Ramona Quimby books), who turned 95 yesterday.
Jenny from the block is People Magazine's most beautiful person.
Hugh Grant spies on a wiretapping tabloid reporter. Revenge!
V.20 No.10 |
The Daily Word: Dalai Lama, Muslim hearings, Julianne Moore as Palin
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Mar 10 2011 8:18 AM ]
Charge up your electric car at Third and Marquette in Downtown Albuquerque.
Feds bust three clinics they say were dealing pills.
For the first time, Gov. Martinez uses the state plane--not the state jet.
Driver's license measure "eviscerated" in committee.
Richest person in the world now 38 percent richer. Guess where he lives? (Rhymes with Schmexico).
BBC reporters captured an tortured by Qaddafi's security.
Wisconsin union leaders promise two things: 1) a lawsuit and 2) the ousting of politicians who would snuff out their bargaining rights.
The Dalai Lama wants to give his political power to an elected representative.
Rep. Peter King's Muslim hearings begin today. He's said most mosques are run by radical imams.
Tucson shooter pleads not guilty. A victim still recovering from gunshot wounds went to the hearing to represent.
Nato forces may have accidentally killed the Afghan president's cousin.
Wait, we still care about Lindsay Lohan? She may go to jail today. In other tabloid-y news (same link), something something Britney Spears and Brangelina. (Seriously, it's been like a decade on Brangelina).
The celebrity contagion.
France shakes hands with Libya's rebel government.
Black people are leaving big cities and changing voter politics.
Julianne Moore is slated to play Sarah Palin on HBO.
V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010
The Daily Word: The Dark Witch, Lohan’s drug test FAIL, APS on condoms
By Nick Brown [ Mon Sep 20 2010 10:43 AM ]
She got some advice from the Dark Witch.
Colin Powell thinks Obama should focus more on unemployment.
Lindsay Lohan tweeted about failing her latest drug test.
A missing cult once was lost but now is found.
The Gulf Oil Spill is officially, permanently plugged.
Spawn of the Super Salmon.
Hurricane Igor is very large.
Once knighted, fantasy writer Terry Pratchett forged a sword out of meteorites.
Have you tried a moral search engine? Me neither.
Yesterday was Talk Like a Pirate Day. What a day to miss church.
APS reveals its confused policy on condoms.
There was a stabbing on the Westside.
The world’s biggest and strongest spiderweb was discovered in Madagascar.
V.19 No.21 |
The Daily Word 05.28.10: Guns, war and the Valles Caldera
By Patricia Sauthoff [ Fri May 28 2010 9:10 AM ]
Senators Jeff Bingaman and Tom Udall introduced a bill that would give management of the Valles Caldera National Preserve to the U.S. Park Service.
Facebook is hard to break up with.
Like to shoot, but need friends? There's a social networking site to set your sights on. (Be careful, it just might be harder to leave this one.)
The unemployed may have a hard time paying June rent as Congress is set to take a Memorial Day break without passing an unemployment extension.
The New York subway system map gets a redesign.
North Korea continues to love the bomb.
$60 billion more has been allocated for the war.
Tyra Banks, still crazy.
Turns out the barber shop isn't the best place to hide out. Nice find Albuquerque.
V.19 No.11 |
The Daily Word 03.18.10: Lobos, Facebook Status Grudges, Sandra Bullock's Marriage
By Erin Adair-Hodges [ Thu Mar 18 2010 8:41 AM ]
Walmart PA announcement in New Jersey store orders black people to leave.
Alex Chilton of '70s rock band Big Star dies. The group was to have played SXSW this weekend.
This website asks, "Can the Lobos do shit?" Verdict: terrible strip clubs put a loud arena make us a sure thing for the Sweet 16.
Is all the money spent on college athletics worth it?
Did Sandra Bullock's husband cheat on her? A firm maybe.
Angry? More and more people settle scores with their Facebook statuses.
The chief minister of one of India's poorest states accepts a 30-foot long garland literally made of money.
Bernie Madoff attacked in prison. Things were broken.
Fox News interviews President Obama and fails.
Omega males: unambitious, emotionally stunted, ubiquitous.
It's Queen Latifah's birthday!
Anarkomedy at Low Spirits
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