I am going to need another tug off that bottle of Thunderbird if I am going to go down there and rescue one of those kittens said Charlie to the spare but shabby living room of the house on Silver Avenue.
Chauncy was in the room under the stairs which contained a sink, a shower and crapper. He did not hear Charlie talking nonsense about the cats because he was getting ready for his evening shift at the steakhouse. Chauncy was frantically trying to coax chicken fat stains out of his black trousers with a toothbrush and a bottle of Florida Water.
The others were in the first-floor bedroom, across from all of that. They couldn't hear Charlie either. Michael was smoking dirt weed out of a pipe he had carved from an apple, reclining like royalty on the bed while his stunned girlfriend Sherri sat in the corner picking glitter out of her hair and counting Jeffersons. They moved in last week and Charlie knew them about as well as any of the other punk rockers from across the street.
Charlie looked around and realized he was speaking to empty space, chatting with the void. He got up and dragged himself to the kitchen. Tim Lodgeson was in there cooking a chicken in the microwave. He had the whole thing in the oven for ten minutes while the two of them sat around jawing about school. Charlie couldn't make heads or tails of what Lodgeson told him. It was something about forests and capitalism.
When the meat came out it was gray. It had the appearance of plastic. Tim took the bird and skewered it with a big silver serving fork he had taken from the cafeteria last semester, around Thanksgiving. He started gnawing on the chicken as if he had not eaten for a week, like he had conquered a small but vicious dinosaur with teeth and technology.
Charlie excused himself politely, gagged and walked out onto the back porch. He could hear the kittens in the basement mewling for their mother. The hell with the Thunderbird, he thought, I sure would like a new pet cat. Further reasoning that such an outcome would be a pleasant surprise for his girlfriend, he sauntered down the stairs and into the darkness.
He felt his way around for a bit until he could reach out and pull on the chain that turned on the light bulb in the middle of basement. Sure enough, there was a litter of cats in the basement. Their mother was nowhere to be seen. Charlie crept over to snatch up a tiny calico.
An eruption of teeth and fur and hair and blood coincided with that action as the hidden mother pounced. The living fury would not come off him, though he clawed and clawed at it. He retreated and was filled up with a queasy combination of shame and horror. The damn thing finally let up when he got to the door, lunging for the knob and hitting his head on the concrete as he fell toward the yard.
Back inside of the house on Silver Avenue, Michael and Sherri had crept out their room and were watching Hee Haw in the big front room. Chauncy was in the kitchen critiquing Tim's culinary procedures as he attempted to saw a leg off of what was left of the poultry experiment. Chauncy was dressed for work now. He looked like a million bucks and was being awfully careful not to get any schmaltz on his waiter's uniform as he danced around Tim's meaty methodologies.
As the two went on and on about the wonders of microwave cooking and with the mellow sounds of George Jones drifting through the whole place, Charlie entered from the porch. He asked for a wet towel and wondered aloud where his bottle of wine might have gotten to. Saturday night had just begun.
Newly discovered Homo Naledi species with primate and human features.
Female cartoonist sentenced to 12 years in prison for shaking her lawyer’s hand.
Last 9/11 Search-and-rescuce dog gets honored in New York City and Celebrates her 16th birthday.
Flordia man arrested for plan to use a pressure cooker bomb at 9/11 memorial.
Nidal Hasan, who was sentenced to death last year for fatally shooting 13 people at Ft. Hood, Texas, in 2009, has asked to be made a citizen of the Islamic State.
California passes an “affirmative consent” bill to address the problem of rape on campuses.
A police officer in Atlanta was arrested for allegedly killing a woman he met online and then burning her body.
Soaring rents prove problematic for people living in urban areas, as that's where everyone wants to be.
The Washington Post on young children and guns.
Albuquerque authorities are investigating a robbery at a Dairy Queen, during which an employee shot and killed the suspected robber.
So, not only did they still a car, but they left a bag of caca and a gun?
A judge will decide today whether to grant the $350,000 buyout for former APS Superintendent Winston Brooks.
“Longmire,” formerly shot in Garson Studios in Santa Fe, has been canceled. Now fans wonder whether another network will pick it up for a fourth season.
A couple guys found out why those rocks in Death Valley move.
Colleges look at fraternities to ease the pressure.
Secretary of State John Kerry sent a message to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, urging Iraqis to “come together,” as Al Qaeda-inspired militants continue their march toward Baghdad.
Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, an American prisoner of war, has been returned to the states.
A priest was shot and killed at a church in Phoenix, Ariz., while another was wounded.
Bobby Lee Pearson, who was on trial for a burglary charge, died in a fight mere hours after being acquitted.
You don't want your gun? Take it to the landfill!
Two Chinese nationals were apprehended and face federal charges for trying to buy military sensors from an Albuquerque company and smuggle them back to China.
Doctors at UNM Hospital are trying to reconstruct an 8-month-old child's organs after she was allegedly raped by her mother's boyfriend.
A Louisiana tour guide likes to swim with gators … and feed them … with his mouth.
“Look toward the future.” This saying has been engraved in my mind since ... well, since the beginning. I’ve been told by my parents, teachers, advisors, bosses, nearly everyone to strive for what’s ahead, to keep on pushing forward. I realize this is a common theme in society. I’m sure most people have had at least a few anxiety attacks in the middle of the night concerning that overbearing word: “future”.
I’ll admit I’m slightly terrified by its presence. However, my perspective is shifting. I graduate from high school next month and suddenly, the world seems to be spinning multitudes faster than it used to. What happened to barely keeping my eyes open in first-period calculus? Or lugging around a backpack that felt like it was full of anvils? Now, I’m being thrown a diploma and told to go off into the real world, leaving this part of my life behind. Granted, graduating from high school is an accomplishment I’m proud of and while I had a great time overall, I cannot wait to throw my cap in the air while ironically performing a “High School Musical” signature jump. In the grand spectrum, these past four years account for a minuscule portion of my life. That isn’t to say they weren’t important, but there is so much more to experience and learn outside of the state-required curriculum.
But then here it comes again: the future spurning an existential crisis on my exhausted brain. Between worrying about what college will be like to what sort of chips to buy for my graduation party, my head is filled to the brim with anticipating the undeniable future. Perhaps the most frightening part is that in approximately four months, I will be moving over 2000 miles away to Boston.
That single fact awoke an urge to stop focusing primarily on the future and to really enjoy what I have right now. While moving and running toward reality is exciting, I also know I have to make an effort to really soak up all that’s around me right now. Boston will present me with some amazing adventures, but what about the adventures that are yet to be had here?
So, Alibi reader, welcome to “Blair rediscovers ABQ” (I’m sure I’ll come up with a catchier title later). Given the opportunity to blog for the Alibi, I hope to not only find new things about this beloved desert city that I never knew existed, but also let you know about them. This place has so much to offer and before I leave, I want to be able to say, “I know Albuquerque,” and share my newfound knowledge. Before Boston, diplomas, packing all my stuff into not-so-neat little boxes; before my life turns upside down, I want to explore my home to the absolute fullest during the last summer I have the privilege to call it that.
Thus begins the Albuquerque adventures. Next stop: Food trucks.
I learn that my fiancee is only 17. She was able to finish college, where I met her, at such a young age because she "worked all the examples."
I am back in college, visiting two girls (Reese Witherspoon and Lara Flynn Boyle.) L is very tall and smells good. A guy named Kenny sits on the floor fixing a fish tank for them. We shake hands awkwardly. We all take a walk down the street, two by two, me with L. We are in downtown Denver. We cross the street. L suddenly has an idea and we return home. I give R a "chicken" crochet sweater. She seems to love it and puts it on over the sweater she's wearing. We discuss her "color." She lets on that she knows about my painting method. She gives me a white, gaudy leather jacket with appliqued colored trinkets. I try it on. It is very stiff and my hands don't seem to fit through the sleeve holes. I do some Russian accent shtick, rather unfunny, with my brother. He pulls on my hand, but pulls me forward and I fall over the couch.
I-25 / Paseo overhaul will be on the ballot in November.
Are you going to Zozobra tonight?
Doug Vaughan sentenced to 12 years for Ponzi scheme.
UNM considers making Lobo Village booze-free.
Ex-President Clinton at the DNC, a recap.
Wheelchair rugby players are rock stars.
Does email cause stress?
Freddie Mercury’s private cultural identity.
Prog awards honor Genesis.
Hungarian artist makes a subway stop magical.
Voyager’s getting close to the edge of the solar system.
NASA’s Sunita Williams fixes the International Space Station with a toothbrush.
Jennifer Aniston’s going to be in a movie shooting in New Mexico soon.
In the fall, we heard all about the president’s executive action that lightens the load for students paying back federal loans.
But the plan only applies to certain people. Are you one of them?
Read Elise Kaplan’s “How to cash in on Obama’s student loan plan” and find out.
17-year-old student stabbed and killed at school.
City pays woman back after police destroyed her weed.
State lawmakers looking to banish the $50 million cap for film rebates imposed last year.
Look inside the Fukushima containment vessel.
Santa Fe's minimum wage will be the highest in the country.
Congress is going to hold off on PIPA and SOPA votes.
Romney may lose to Gingrich in South Carolina.
College students are playing the fainting game. I thought that was for kids.
Hackers retaliate after Megaupload is shut down.
A matrilineal state in India (where women rule).
If that capsized cruise ship dumps its fuel, it will pollute one of the most pristine segments of the Mediterranean.
Why is it hard to believe in evolution?
Advice that doesn't make sense until you're too old to need it.
Pulitzer Prize: Meh.
World reacts angrily to the execution of Troy Davis in Georgia last night.
Ron Paul's supporters are scared of N.M.'s ex-Gov. Gary Johnson, who's in tonight's national debate.
Dog? Horse? Donkey? Chicken? Who will be Corrales' mayor?
Urban farm in Downtown Albuquerque on Second Street and Silver.
Meet TV's fact-checkers.
Images of the satellite that's falling to Earth.
Parking meter wasteland.
Universities seek students with cash money.
Edupunk: A guide to a free online education.
Man builds lady cave to sleep in. (NSFW if your work sux.)
One Million Moms seeks to halt Schweddy Balls.
We might lose 50 post offices.
Politician wears blackface to say he’s Germany’s Obama.
Guy backs car into someone’s living room.
State on a $70,000 hunt for teachers who change students’ test scores.
FBI curriculum: Mainstream Muslims are likely terrorist sympathizers.
Auditor says chairman is blocking a review of the PRC.
Journal complains of the number of police escorting a bike safety ride.
The recession has affected yet another business: Cocaine.
Doves are tasty.
Department of Transportation wants to ban e-cigs on planes. Here’s a list of other stinks that should be banned first.
American Apparel and a plus-sized debate.