Don't forget to use your turn signal in New Mexico. Our cops are waaaay into butts.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits to smoking crack, but it was probably when he was "in a drunken stupor," so no big deal.
Teachers who complain about students on social media should probably stop doing that. Especially if their status update contains the words "I can just kill these kids."
But here's a perfect student: a 240-year old mechanical boy that can be programmed to write just about anything.
And the Metropolitan Detention Center faces more overcrowding: This time it's from 30,000 pounds of unpopped popcorn.