My dog Igloo and I launch into space from the front pasture at my parents' house. It's nighttime, and the sky is a dark blue with the lights of the Milky Way dotted across the expanse. Actually, it's less of a launch and more of a jump. After we pass the atmosphere, I can't tell how much progress we're making because there's barely a breeze. It's black around us scattered with distant stars, but I still see the glow of the Earth creeping up from behind us.
I look at Igloo and pet his head. I look down at the Earth—round and innocent—and it's slowly drifting away. I notice a red string tied to my ankle and his ankle that go all the way back down to somewhere on the surface of our planet. I look up toward Mars, far in the distance, and then back to Iggy. He rolls over so I can rub his belly while we travel.
I wake up.
Your favorite cartoon about a metal band needs your help to end.
Indigenous Peoples Day became an official thing in Albuquerque.
The new season of American Horror Story is making headlines, be they good or bad.
A local woman claims to know of a bomb at Winrock last night.
Slime in apple juice makes some people exited about aliens.
Country-turned-pop singer Taylor Swift is facing very little piracy. Why aren't you stealing her stuff?
Gay people are allowed to do things in Indiana once more.
It costs more, but you'll pay it gladly. Netflix ups their price by one whole US dollar.
A Burque family is rescued by their wonderful dog.
A man was rolling a joint on the NYC Subway when he fell asleep.
A barfing bride strives to overcome her vomiting phobia before the day of her nauseating nuptials.
The average American wedding now costs $31,000.
Eccentric millionaire Robert Durst accidentally confessed to three murders.
Isolation and loneliness can have serious effects on your noodle.
Ron Jeremy turns 62 today! Here he is paying homage to Miley Cyrus.
The front seat of my truck is filled with grocery bags. I pull into John Kerry's driveway behind a white minivan. I speak with him through my window. He is offering a million dollars to anyone who can catch his dog. I can hear the dog barking in the trees out back. I see U, from work, aiming a camo-painted dart rifle at the dog while his sidekick looks on.
In case you're sad about Barbara Walters leaving “The View,” you can read about how she wants to spend her retirement.
Police try to categorize what kind of killer Aaron Hernandez is … you know … in case he gets convicted.
Charity Johnson, a 34-year-old woman from Texas, was arrested after posing as a high school student for nearly a year.
Police unions across the nation are pushing for workers' compensation if they suffer from PTSD.
Since ABQ Pride is coming up, here's a little snippet of milestones in the effort to legalize gay marriage, as compiled by the Miami Herald.
Mason Campbell, the 12-year-old suspect in January's Roswell Middle School shooting, is expected to plead guilty at today's hearing.
It's “America's Most Wanted”—New Mexico style. Okay, it's New Mexico's Most Wanted.
“Naia” is apparently proof that modern Native Americans and the first Americans share common ancestors.
I am riding in a flatbed truck with some farm workers. I spot some tornadoes on the horizon. We arrive at "Washer Heaven." A Great Dane tries to climb over the rail into the truck. I pat his paw. "Good Dog", I say and try to push him off.
People weigh in on Gov. Chris Christie's apology concerning his team's “callous” and “stupid” behavior.
HBO's "Girls" gets renewed for a fourth season. Has the third even premiered yet?
After a chemical spill contaminated the water supply, nearly 200,000 people in West Virginia were left without H2O.
A major drop in added jobs for December flusters economists.
Someone's been leaving dead chickens at a North Valley cemetery.
It seems that panhandling has become a profession for a couple (and their kids) in Modesto, Calif.
Some students in Gallup found a way to cheat the system.
A woman surrendered her dog (that tested positive for cocaine and marijuana), but now she wants her canine friend back.
Coors Banquet beer puts out an 18-wheeler engulfed in flames.
It's time for President Obama's year-end news conference!
Who will save Blackberry?
Could our recent economic growth and rise in stocks lead toward a prosperous 2014?
It looks like Bertha found “the object.”
In case you're unemployed, Eclipse Aerospace might have a job for you.
Animals shelters around Albuquerque have asked people to stop bringing in animals because there's no room left.
A parent went into a classroom and threatened a student at Colinas Del Norte Elementary School in Rio Rancho.
A portland pup ate too many weed brownies and had to be taken to the vet. Poor guy couldn't handle the high.
The defense says he was an informant; the prosecution says he's a murderer. Bulger's trial should come to a close this afternoon.
Talk about the future in food ...
It looks like the recently crowned Miss Riverton isn't your average bombshell.
Two people were injured in a shootout that targeted the Black Berets motorcycle club. The Black Berets say “it ain't over.”
In Bernalillo County, a man was shot and killed by police on Sunday evening after threatening a deputy.
Apparently breaking into public pools for a late-night dip isn't enough …
The “Old Main” prison, which been closed for 15 years, could become “New Mexico's Alcatraz.”
It seems like Daft Punk might be popular with canines as well.
George Zimmerman trial outcome causes speculation on the "stand your ground" law.
Taking photos of the secretary of state's house and a pellet gun in your car? Someone's been a busy boy.
Apple is set to investigate a claim that a woman was electrocuted by her iPhone.
"Glee" star Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver hotel over the weekend. Police have ruled out foul play.
"Angel" the dog is said to be recovering well after having her throat slashed.
Heavy rain catches Albuquerque citizens in the metro area off guard.
Jury deliberations for the Levi Chavez murder trial started at 8:30 this morning.
K-Y Intense Arousal gel causes Alabama post office evacuation. No joke.
Our yard is now connected with my brother-in-law, J's, yard. His black dog runs into our yard. J looks out the window as he plays boogie woogie piano. He now has a trimmed gray beard. I motion to him that I would like to jam. He motions back by wiggling his hand —maybe later. Later we see his new fireplace. It consumes an entire wall and the smoldering logs are stacked to the ceiling. I describe my Disneyland experience to a short Asian woman. I tell her that I did try the weightlessness ride and that I got to fly. I tell her that it felt like I expected it would.
130 Mexican prisoners are on the loose.
Face slasher takes the Metro.
It’s a great time to run a newspaper. Not really.
A balding man with a ponytail is accused of beating a woman with a dog.
“They’ll never find my gold bars.”
Oh, the funny pictures.
Taylor Swift broke up with me swiftly.
Try these Photoshop brain teasers.
I have too many coffee mugs. Stop thinking up them.
What's the quickest way to the Quickie Mart?
Here’s the story of the burnt bigfoot.
There's a new monkey that looks like somebody you know.
Now you can monitor clean-up efforts in Los Alamos.
Some hunters had an herb farm adventure.
Happy birthday Fred Willard.
The ugliest dog of the year.
Cutest baby dwarf bunny of the year.
D.C. is no longer a chocolate city.
Beyond the Thunderdome in Alamogordo.
Motorists in Massachusetts must pay a fee in order to contest a ticket.
Ever heard of "genetic attraction?"
A billionaire's unprecedented land donation may result in more protected areas in New Mexico.
Sandusky may appeal guilty verdict.
Sandusky's conviction could spell trouble for Penn State University.
New technology allows someone (read: "some government agency") to identify your fingerprint from twenty feet away.
Mary Jane, the musical.
On this day in 1944 Jeff Beck was born.
I ask my sleeping dog if he wants to go out. He tries to get up but falls over backwards. A guitar case falls over on top of him and I laugh. "What?!" he asks angrily.