Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 25
and drug dealer Eugene Crane, aka “Blanco Diablo” aka “The Boogie Man,” has been arrested for allegedly wrapping the body of one of his customers in plastic and then dumping her in an empty lot near Roller Skate City after the woman overdosed. Before dumping her, but after she died, he allegedly made time to join his family for dinner,
Geologists with the United States Air Force are set to begin construction on a well to extract poisonous chemicals from Albuquerque’s water supply. The well will be located in a church parking lot, right next to the basketball court,
the Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg wonders if it’s time for “the Jews to leave Europe,”
a Detroit eviction crew discovered the corpses of two children stashed in a deep freeze inside of a vacant apartment. The mother of the children has been taken into custody,
in some of the least depressing news to come out of Iraq, ISIS apparently blew up Saddam Hussein's tomb,
a baby eagle hatched live on eagle-cam,
and a restaurant in Africa has closed down after attracting negative attention for their “no blacks” policy.
Kanye West stopped his concert because a fan in a wheelchair wouldn’t stand up.
Country crooner Lynn Anderson was arrested after a drunken car smash.
Courtney Love rocks the guitar lamely.
A Samsung robot sentry shoots everyone, period.
Quadrupedal robots frolic gracefully to the tune of a new cheetah algorithm.
An Albuquerque pumpkin heist will likely scar toddlers’ psyches.
A virtual Boobie Squeezing Simulator makes girlfriends obsolete.
Scottish independence might be an actual thing.
A sleeping Brooklyn toddler survived a savage rat attack.
A gravedigger photographed himself with the exhumed remains of his long deceased nephew.
The Bernalilllo County Commission will take legal action against the Secretary of State to ensure key issues (including decriminalization of marijuana possession) will be on the ballot in this November’s election.
It’s State Fair time.
Jose Nino’s baby won’t go to sleep.
Let the shooting competition begin.
What’s happening in Albuquerque today?
Happy birthday, Tom Hardy.
Today’s Daily Word was made possible with generous link-cullling assistance from Constance Moss, Geoffrey Plant, Janet Miller, Lisa Barrow, Kyle Silfer and Susan Petersen. Thanks, you guys!
Another APD lapel camera somehow stopped recording during a fatal shooting.
Ricky Gervais is kind of a prick, but no surprise there.
Cee Lo Green is actually a huge prick and maybe a rapist, which is more surprising and makes me sad.
Vice magazine continues its hard-hitting reporting by answering the question: What happens when you put cocaine in your butt?
Two UNM physicians are going to kill a bunch of grasshoppers.
The New York St. Patrick’s Day parade will be cooler and gayer this year.
And, for the children of the late 20th century, here are 100 things that apparently happened in that Saved By the Bell movie that you didn’t watch but secretly kind of wanted to.
Michael Brown was shot at least six times—twice in the head.
Necrophilia in Ohio.
What’s on Taco Bell’s new $1 Cravings Menu?
An Icelandic volcano is threatening to erupt.
Rick Perry is outraged.
A weird family killed a giant alligator.
A Mojave solar plant burns birds out of the air.
Happy birthday, Robert Redford.
Thanks for the links, Susan Petersen.
The weirder and, in this writer's opinion, the more interesting of Stephen McBean's two mountain-named bands (the other being Black Mountain) the Pink Mountaintops is playing Low Spirits tonight. No self-respecting lover of drug music will miss this. My friend Pierre LaFarge turned me on to this Vancouver-based bunch of weirdoes a week or so ago and there's been nothing else on my speakers since. Can't wait for the sun to set so we can all see the Pink Mountaintops, who are touring in support of their new album Get Back. Did I mention the show is only TEN BUCKS!? C'mon!
Mayor Berry held a press conference to address APD protests and concerns of excessive force.
Improper logging led to the Washington mudslide.
A baptism ceremony was swept out to sea.
Elton John is getting married.
The healthcare deadline is here.
Ronan Farrow faces ratings woes.
Learn the proper way to eat Tic Tacs.
You can actually sell your crappy CDs.
How much pee in a swimming pool could kill you?
Learn to flirt scientifically.
Psychedelic drugs can relieve despair in terminal patients.
Happy birthday, Christopher Walken.
Did Flight MH370 disintigrate in midair?
A smoldering body was found in San Diego.
A Decatur woman with Alzheimer’s was living with her husband’s dead body for a month.
In Greeley, stoners can’t get haircuts at Hugo’s Barber Shop. LSD is probably okay, though.
Hipsters like obscure bands, then stop liking them when they achieve commercial success.
Mercury, the cat with no arms, amuses humans by walking upright.
Drug users are reportedly being extorted by people posing as DEA agents. Drug users who are approached by these fake agents should, um, contact the DEA immediately.
An Albuquerque man is in custody after police learned he had been holding his wife hostage in their home for the past four days. The wife escaped and called police from a neighbor’s house when the man went to get cigarettes. The man then hid from police in his mother’s house. Drugs may have been involved.
Tesla’s new battery factory might be in New Mexico. Deja vu.
Happy birthday, Chuck Norris.
Terrorists promise a surprise for the Sochi Olympics.
Seattle and Denver will face off in the Superbowl.
Welcome to Justin Bieber’s treasure trove of drugs.
Snorting Smarties can lead to nasal maggots.
Scientists ponder the magical appearance of a strange Martian rock.
Ron Jeremy sings “Wrecking Ball.”
Yoko Ono sings “Fireworks.”
Due to smog, sunrise in Beijing is televised.
We may have found the remains of Alfred the Great.
Here’s a list of what the NSA can do.
Meet the Paranormal Intelligence Agency.
A woman crashed into a pole at Grant Middle School.
A man was stabbed at Third and Central.
Happy birthday DeForest Kelly.