drunk driving


V.25 No.3 | 01/21/2016

news

APD Has an Operations Plan in Place!

Man will judge man in a screening process by which trained man ascertains the sobriety of any and all men, regardless of race gender creed or smell

.... Actually, you may be judged by your smell as this can be a primary indicator of intoxication. Or you just worked a shift behind the bar at Anodyne where a girl's hair, thanks to the high reach up to the bottles shelf—oh, nice ass, too—can end up more combustible than that orgy in Satyricon. This will make you appear drunk when really you smell like alcohol because it was dripping all over your hair every time someone ordered a fucking top-shelf Rum and Coke.

As always, the authoritIes want you to know the general neighborhood where the checkpoint will be however, Weekly Alibi cannot divulge the exact location. Somewhere in the vicinity of Walmart on San Mateo and the Long John Sliver's on Central APD will be conducting a sobriety checkpoint.

Avoid the cuffs and take advantage of the ever-increasing stable of ride services. By simply starting your night with a ride from one of Albuquerque's taxi services or, if you're under thirty, Uber. Unfortunately, AAA's Tipsy Tow service appears to have been discontinued in Albuquerque, but Albuquerque Cab does offer a free ride home (10pm-2am, Fri & Sat) through their Tavern Taxi service.

Tavern Taxi: (505)-999-1400
ABQ CAB: (505)-883-4888
Yellow/Checker Cab: (505)-247-8888
Green Cab: (505)-243-6800

V.22 No.11 | 3/14/2013

news

The Daily Word in Instagram hero, Pope elections and March Madness

The Daily Word

Instagram helped reunite a little boy with his toy bunny.

Defendent in wrongful death case to take the stand as the case starts its third day of trial.

Catholic Cardinals meet once more before electing a new pope.

A six year old boy took the keys away from his drunk grandma so she couldn’t drive.

Unhappy people are responsible for the zombie craze!

New Mexico teen with terminal cancer gets her diploma early.

If you’re more into geography than basketball, this March Madness bracket is for you.

V.21 No.27 | 7/5/2012

news

The Daily Word in Syrian violence, snitches, foie gras

The Daily Word

Roughly 140 people killed in Syria yesterday. Nearly 2,000 civilians have been killed in June, alone.

Parts of the Bosque are closed due to high fire risk.

Police say man who drove his car through Kit Carson Park at 4 a.m. was quite drunk.

Atlanta police murder a 92-year-old woman and ask a C.I. to cover for them.

Supreme Court’s health care ruling in minute-to-minute detail.

Video of San Juan inmate attacking prison guard with a toilet-bowl-cleaner shank.

Reflecting on Hunter Thompson’s Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72.

NBA Draft results prompt examination of infamous Draft-day attire.

California is banning foie gras, kind of like Chicago did several years back and then overturned.

No word on whether Oliver Twist is one of the spooky eyed children in this gallery of 1870s juvenile mug shots. Still, none of them are as sinister-looking as this kid.

Shanghai’s misogynistic public trans system.

Padlocked tacos and margaritas in condoms on this person’s Etsy account.

An ideal layout for movie theaters.

“Asshole” dolphin brings to mind a great Dave Chapelle skit.

V.20 No.45 |

NEWS

The Daily Word in Lobo sports, European debt crises, and an ADHD galaxy cluster.

The Daily Word

It was an excellent weekend for UNM sports. The Lobo football team gets 21-14 conference win over UNLV, Steve Alford's men's basketball team opens the season with 92-40 triumph over New Orleans, and the men's soccer team takes the conference championship over Cal State Bakersfield.

Oh, also, Monster Jam was at Tingley this weekend all vintage-style.

Sexual abuse charges against Jerry Sandusky suggest his youth mentoring charity might have been a pipeline for potential victims.

Hawaiian recording artist busts out “Occupy” song during fancy dinner hosted by President Obama.

Continue to rest assured that this guy will never, ever lose your trust.

Cracked.com's take on the 6 Most Horrifying Lies The [Processed] Food Industry is Feeding You.

Parkour.

Bernalillo County officials working on new “realistic” ad campaigns against drunk driving.

Europe risks EU split in wake of major debt crises.

The Oatmeal illustrates what it would be like if his brain were an imaginary friend.

Palindromes (Palin-dromes).

You know those cool high-powered magnetic ball desk-top toy things? Yeah, they're dangerous.

Super freaking cool pencil carvings.

Strange hyperactive galaxy cluster spotted by Hubble about 9 billion light-years away .

Placebo buttons.

Thanks to CM and CP for the help.

V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010
Odds and Ends

Odds & Ends

Dateline: Connecticut—A 37-year-old man who officially changed his name to “Almighty Supremeborn Allah” was arrested earlier this month after Special Services Unit officers found $2,000 worth of cocaine in his New Britain apartment. The New Britain Herald reports officers were executing a search warrant on Almighty Allah’s apartment when the suspect fled the scene. “He ran and the officers used a Taser to get him into custody,” Sgt. Jeanette Saccente told the newspaper. After Allah was subdued, officers searched his home—unironically located on High Street—and found three grams of cocaine on a bedroom dresser and a baggie with another 18 grams. Allah was charged with possession of narcotics, possession of narcotics with intent to sell, possession of narcotics within 1,500 feet of a school or public housing project, and interfering with police. A judge held Allah on $300,000 bond following an arraignment hearing.

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