Good afternoon, people of the internet! It's almost Friday, which means absolutely nothing to people who work weekends!
The Ringling Bros. finally admit maybe having wild elephants as part of their circus isn’t really that cool.
A 91 year-old woman who was told as a girl she wouldn’t be able to pursue engineering, has landed her dream job as a design consultant specializing in products geared towards the elderly. TAKE THAT, AGEISM AND SEXISM!
Prince played basketball in middle school and his yearbook photo is going to make your Thursday.
Everyone knows the top emojis are the poop, the partying ghost and the monkey covering her eyes. Some genius made an emoji poop dress and it’s all I want this year for my birthday.
Take a lunch break every damn day!
As I always suspected, urine is not sterile.
Brad Pitt tosses a beer to Matthew McConaughey.
Don’t blow smoke up my ass.
Happy birthday, Rubik’s Cube.
Rest in peace, Jerry Vale.
People were surprised to see an elephant on the beach in Florida.
There is a Route 66 revitalization plan.
Starting in October, Southwest Airlines will no longer have to stop in Albuquerque.
Silver Alerts have been issued for two area senior citizens.
Suzie, did you make some guy eat a habeñero?
Happy birthday to Andre the Giant.
I am watching a parade. There are horses with hats and painted elephants. I think I see my sister-in-law and try to rewind the dream to make sure. Now there is an all-child marching band dressed in white shoes and red sequins. Somewhere a kid shouts "Peanuts!"
Muammar “I wear my sunglasses at night” Gaddafi may be open to a truce.
U.S. defense firm Lockheed Martin becomes the latest victim in cyber attacks.
You could be fined in Australia for using profanity in public.
Alarm clocks containing explosives blow up at IKEA stores in Belgium, France and The Netherlands.
The Illinois House approves a bill that will bring a casino to Chicagoland.
Detained female protesters in Egypt were subjected to “virginity tests.”
In this creepy video, a Mexican teacher sings to her students while a gun fight goes on outside.
A woman is arrested after wheeling a trash can filled with human body parts through a neighborhood.
Apparently, it’s an unspeakable offense to play golf on Memorial Day.
A woman in Bangladesh takes a would-be rapist’s penis to police as evidence.
They’ve enlisted the help of elephants during the clean up efforts in Joplin, Mo.
Hackers hit PBS’ web site and post a fake Tupac story.
No, not snakes on a plane, but snakes on a train.
You know your organization is the laughingstock of all scary radical religious groups when it’s counterprotested by the Ku Klux Klan.
Now you can save face by sending your lover an STD e-card to let them know they’re infected!
Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel resigns under numerous allegations of NCAA rule violations.