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The Daily Word in Mullet vs. beard, man vs. fish, woman vs. sandwich and Fiona Apple vs. The Man

New Mexico's Spaceport development has problems.

Yes, you can play golf at the Angola Penitentiary golf course.

The ex-controller of the New Mexico Finance Authority has been indicted.

Unintentional, run-away double entendre strikes when Jill Biden introduces the Vice-President.

The Rio Arriba County Sheriff's Department planned to buy a boat three days after cutting hours of service due to lack of funds.

150 years of lesbians photo gallery.

Verdict in the Amish beard-cutting case: "Mullet guilty in beard case."

A woman ate a "Stellanator" in Omaha.

A weird effigy of Obama was lynched in Austin.

This may be the first good, in-depth news item about bath salts.

Groundbreaking video illustrates the best way to clean mushrooms.

Not so groundbreaking: we are running out of fish.

An Intel worker called the police because a coworker put a "kick me" sign on his back. And people kicked him.

Some companies are instructing employees NOT to use work email after hours.

Snoop Dogg was the celebrity guest on The Price is Right yesterday.

Like many before her, Fiona Apple was busted for pot possession at the Sierra Blanca border checkpoint.

Hypnotic map of the 2012 presidential election swing states.

"Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all." Happy birthday Joan Jett and Nick Cave.

news

The Daily Word in Bill Clinton, Genesis and Zozobra

I-25 / Paseo overhaul will be on the ballot in November.

Are you going to Zozobra tonight?

Doug Vaughan sentenced to 12 years for Ponzi scheme.

UNM considers making Lobo Village booze-free.

Ex-President Clinton at the DNC, a recap.

Wheelchair rugby players are rock stars.

Does email cause stress?

Freddie Mercury’s private cultural identity.

Prog awards honor Genesis.

Hungarian artist makes a subway stop magical.

Voyager’s getting close to the edge of the solar system.

Sun burp.

NASA’s Sunita Williams fixes the International Space Station with a toothbrush.

Jennifer Aniston’s going to be in a movie shooting in New Mexico soon.

News

The Daily Word in NM Drug Court investigations, litigiousness, "acts of daily living," a naked crimewave, and Romney-Venn Diagrams

If your computer is infected with this virus, you will be denied access to the internet beginning next week.

The NM state email investigation is getting more and more complicated.

Judge Pat Murdoch will likely face new charges having something to do with female participants in the piece of the Drug Court Program he presided over.

Drug Court in Northern New Mexico is under investigation for possible embezzlement among other things.

An Audit reveals that APD handed out a lot of unqualified bonuses from 2008 to 2011.

In case you didn't know, Quebecois need a french word for EVERYTHING.

The most litigious man in the world is suing Herman Cain and Kim Kardashian for attacking him while the two were making a sex tape in a Pizza Hut bathroom.

Nation's ongoing naked crimewave. More PCP crime.

Best Buy competes in stupid business-decision-making Olympics.

Politician in Jordan shows us how to debate on T.V. like really angry, shoe-throwing, pistol-packing men do.

Some cities are banning public "acts of daily living" i.e, "homelessness."

Former and original bass player from Cro-Mags totally flipped out on the current Cro-Mags line-up at CBGB Festival.

Mitt Romney's Venn Diagrams look like Venn Diagrams but don't work like Venn Diagrams, so... are they Venn Diagrams?

Hey, "a lot of women tend to forget this is a man's world."

Is Marxism relevant today?

Men in suits get away with things.

Watch this Greek newscaster get egged and Mike Milled on air.

The last minutes of Air France flight 447.

The Valley of Gwangi.

WWW

The Feds Are Coming For Me!

I do not want to mess with this guy.
I do not want to mess with this guy.

If I don’t show up to work tomorrow, it’s because the FBI has arrested me, thrown me in jail and confiscated all my stuff. I just got an email from FBI director Robert Mueller III. The subject line of the email is as follows:

“Attn: This is to inform you that we the fbi have a warrant to arrest you if we dont hear from you immediately,this is the final warning you are going to receive from the fbi office do you get me? I hope youre understand how many times this message has been sent to you. We have warned you so many times and you have decided to ignore our e-mails we have been instructed to get you arrested immediately, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the payment then, we will close your bank account and jail you and all your properties will be confiscated by the fbi.Robert Mueller, III FB I Director”

That’s the subject line, mind you. Imagine how scary the email itself is. ... Actually, that’s all there is to the email. Huh.

By the way, if you ever need to contact the director of the FBI, his email address is hamhock3@aol.com.

NEWS

The Daily Word in a new definition of rape, santorum, the Dark Vader burger, and slimy orange water in Rio Rancho

The suspected Santa Fe flasher had a felony warrant in Vermont.

There's orange slime in some Rio Rancho resident's water.

Director David Russell pinky swore with his transgender niece to keep his groping her a secret. She broke the pinky pact.

The psychology of parking.

Meet the French "Dark Vader" burger, complete with black bun.

This NYU student REALLY did not want to do a class-assigned ethnography study of Occupy Wall Street. ....So she sent out a bunch of bent mass emails explaining... a lot of things.

There is now a Hello Kitty restaurant!

Photo of this Colorado high school senior is "too hot" for the yearbook.

New book explains why monogamy doesn't work for men.

APD arrested one of their employees and charged him with embezzlement.

For the past 83 years, the FBI's definition of rape did not allow that men could be raped. They have also changed the definition to include those who do not physically resist.

Washington Post opinion piece on presidential candidate Rick Santorum's extreme views.

Rick Santorum still has a "Google problem." Here's why.

Ed Sanders, poet, author and founding member of seminal '60's New York City beatnik-freak musical maximists the Fugs, has just had his memoir published.

On this day in 1964 Nicolas Kim Coppola, aka Nicolas Cage, was born.

Timewaster

My Auto-Generated Email Reply

Apparently, I thought it would be funny last night to use the vacation settings in my work email to auto-generate this reply to all incoming messages:

I cnt b bthrd w ths now u snofbtch

I guess I thought it would be funny, knowing full well that I wouldn’t remember a thing about it in the morning. Anyway, if you received this email from me today, please disregard it.

blog

More People Who Email Me About Russian Brides

Here is a short list of people who have been urging me to woo a Russian bride:

Midia Pontocom

Burl Lugo

Hakes Stitzer

Flossie Stovall

Molitor

Andy Dzamba

Justin Roberti

Breitling Rado

Ophelia Combs

Wallace Negron

Turkerr Dodd

Notice how they all sound like Bond villains. I wonder if my old friend Brose Lachian has taken on a Russian bride yet.

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