James Garner died. I guess we knew that was coming.
Putin warns the West. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hundreds of panties were stolen. Next, I’m stealing gum.
Learn the secret origins of Silly Putty.
I wish I could sleep in a cool bedroom.
I think my phone is infected with electricity-eating bacteria.
Pickpockets are a dying breed.
I shall never RickRoll you again.
The new Star Wars movie will open with a severed hand.
The Danes have a gene that makes them happy, and that makes them feel sad.
Albuquerque teenagers killed homeless people to be mean.
APD’s predictive analysis targets property crimes, hot babes.
Happy birthday, Ernest Hemingway.
Kosovo authorities may have harvested organs from prisoners of war.
YAWN! Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is Time's 2010 Person of the Year.
Is it racist to call a fatso fat?
Farmington city council approves a six-month moratorium on medical marijuana producers.
What were Richard Holbrooke's last words?
My new hero steals $1.5 million worth of gambling chips from the Bellagio.
The head of King Henri IV has been identified.
Dead man found in an RV in Deming.
George Clinton apparently no longer thinks sampling is cool.
Albuquerque teens steal car, vodka.
Dead gladiators were thrown out with the trash.
Titanium foam may soon help rebuild your bones.
This Korean fake girlfriend app will cheer you up, right?
The 60 best new Tumblr blogs of 2010.
Yes, this is a nativity scene made from pork.
Meet Iapetus, our solar system's weirdest moon.
Yup. The competitive reality show about America’s new favorite spectator sport—weight loss—is coming to the 505 to pick up on our obese population.
ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE? DO YOU HAVE AT LEAST 100 LBS. TO LOSE? Are you outgoing with personality? Do you have the WANT, DESIRE and COMPETITIVE EDGE to vie for this once in a lifetime opportunity to change your lives forever and compete for $250,000?
Go to thebiggestlosercasting.com to audition. Or hit up the open call Saturday, March 13 at Sandia Resort & Casino (30 Rainbow Rd. NE) from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. The show asks that you bring a current photo with your contact info on the back. Also, please don’t line up before 7 a.m.
While pondering that quarter mil, watch the Nightline faceoff at 9:35 p.m. Tonight’s topic: Is it OK to be fat? On the panel: Plus-sized model Crystal Renn, National Action Against Obesity founder MeMe Roth, fat-acceptance champion Marianne Kirby and Finally Thin! author Kim Benson.
One time, I had an eggroll party. After many drinks, we made a Skittles eggroll. The Skittles melted together in a grainy, slimy glob of sugar, and all the candy-coated shells blended to become a purply red. The partygoers ate it. All of it. Serious.
That eggroll, had I taken a picture, could have garnered me some fame if I sent an image to ThisIsWhyYoureFat.com. The site features a grotesque selection of heart-clogging food ideas, such as: macaroni and cheese pizza, the tempura burger, Spam sushi, the chocolate-coated churro relleno, the Oreo donut and so much more.
Look through them if you’re seeking inspiration to have a salad for lunch this workday. (Thanks, Joel, for the web find!)