I visit the girls in the apartment to our right. They tell me that two girls, a blonde and a redhead, are using Ted's vacant apartment to our left. I knock and ring the bell. The door is made of cement and is sealed shut. I can see them moving around inside. My sister comes out of our apartment with cuts on her face. She has been in a fight with a Best Buy salesgirl. The fight started over a misunderstanding that a DVD would capture the details of her private life.
Another day, another fatal APD shooting.
Former Gov. Gary Johnson is expected to announce his presidential bid soon.
I bet you didn't know that President Obama had brain surgery.
Utah Republican's cut unemployment insurance to motivate people to get back to work.
More bodies found on Long Island beaches.
Mom drives car into river, killing herself and her three children.
School in Chicago bans homemade lunches.
Congress removes rocky mountain wolf from endangered species list.
The title of this video is: Fat Security Guard Goes Crazy On Skaters.
Have you heard this new Beastie Boy's song yet?
Navy successfully tests new death ray.
Record Store Day is this Saturday.
How organic labels trick your brain.
Jerry Lawson, inventor of the video game cartridge died this weekend.
A complete guide to who's
ruining remaking your favorite comedies.
How to avoid dancing with people.
Don't buy one of these infinite capacity hard drives.
Taco Bell is testing nacho-flavored Doritos as taco shells!
Pictures from last week's Monsterpalooza.
Denny's has the best pancakes … and fights.
The Senate fails to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
President Obama's top economic advisor is quitting.
Someone from a Georgia Republican Senator's office posted some homophobic comments on a gay rights blog.
The best headline I've ever read: Axe-Wielding Ninja Robs Jewelry Store
Is New Mexico's recession over yet?
Denver Broncos rookie Kenny McKinley kills himself.
Governor Richardson is selling his junk.
Did you miss the big fight behind the bleachers? Watch it on Youtube.
Four-year-old finds a used condom in a hotel room, now has herpes.
Megachurch Bishop ironically accused of coercing young men into sex.
Twelve-year-old killed by train because his iPod was too loud.
(HOORAY?) The newest Vatican scandal doesn't involve pedophiles.
Steve Wiebe reclaims the world record Donkey Kong high score.
Egyptian newspaper photoshop fail.
Lil Wayne's classy new album has a classy song called Gonorrhea.
By the time hipsters bring designer milk to Albuquerque, it will be out of style.
My neighbor may be an asshole with a dog that never stops barking, but that doesn't make him a terrorist.
Fossil treasure trove discovered in California.
Newspaper in Minnesota publishes a racist joke.
What do you think of Burger King's new breakfast items?
Someone cracked the DRM that protects Blueray, HDMI and HD transmission video. What does that mean for your pirate friends?
It's National Bourbon Heritage Month. Are we drunk yet?
Happy birthday Michael Faraday!!!
China uses more energy than the USA.
60 are dead in an Indian train smash.
“He awoke to a man slashing his neck with a knife.”
Roman Polanski went to the Montreux Jazz Festival; he had to because his wife was playing there.
When beavers attack.
Here are ten ways to scam the elderly. For ten more, send $10 to nickbrown c/o the Alibi.
Tiny hotel rooms are fun.
If you have to write a report on sea serpents, you should just copy this one.
Read a letter from Tesla about his Death Ray.
Paris Hilton keeps having pot in her purse.
Mad Mel might migrate; his Malibu mansion is on the market for millions.
A man was shot outside the Bubble Lounge at 6th and Central.
Matthew Dykes fell near the Sandia Man Cave.
Deranged and toothless, Harold Romero has escaped from a Belen mental facility. So, you know. Unlock your doors. Make pudding.
Don't take a gun to a knife fight, or a garage sale.
Happy birthday, Max Fleischer!