V.23 No.27 | 7/3/2014
The Daily Word in name tags, necrophilia and North Korea.
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Jun 30 2014 11:25 AM ]
North Korea fired two missiles at Seth Rogan and James Franco.
Rest in peace, Bobby Womack.
They got Tyler’s name tag wrong at Taco John’s.
The Nanny from Hell is packing her bags.
Will you see a UFO tonight?
Congratulations on your latest statistical victory, New Mexico.
There’s a fire in the Jemez.
A woman claims she was blackmailed by an APD officer.
An Albuquerque woman called her boyfriend 77,000 times in one week?
Happy birthday, Terry Funk.
Susan Petersen, thank you for the links!
V.23 No.24 |
The Daily Word in fire, a haunted VHS and Redskin racism
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jun 18 2014 9:10 AM ]
Good morning, it's Wednesday, June 18,
and the Assayii Lake Fire is continuing to spread,
a memorial for Nancy Myers, a woman who was killed at a homeless encampment by a hit-and-run driver on June 9th, will be held this Friday at 6pm at the Albuquerque Rescue Mission courtyard (525 Second SW),
and one New Mexico gubernatorial campaign has been caught lying in emails, and the other apparently doesn't like "fat girls" in bikinis,
the US Patent Office has revoked the Redskins' trademarks because they are "disparaging to Native Americans,"
and a London bus stop is being haunted by a VHS copy of Hell Raiser.
Have a great day!
V.23 No.19 |
The Daily Word in radioactive cat litter and fracking New Mexico
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed May 14 2014 9:57 AM ]
It's Wednesday, May 14th,
and experts suggest that the WIPP radiation leak may be due to kitty litter. "Just regular cat litter," said Dr. Jim Concha;
New Mexico's own Mora County is getting ready to battle fracking companies in a case with national implications,
and a beautiful spring is giving way to New Mexico's fifth, and least popular, season: Fire Season.
Justin Beiber has been accused of stealing a cell phone at a Los Angeles batting cage,
scientists have found the oldest sperm on record, but aren't sure why it's so big,
global warming will continue to make my margaritas more expensive,
and a man installing a No Parking sign received a parking ticket. "But I'm putting these signs up," the man said "Then you should know you can't park here," the officer responded.
Have a great day!
V.23 No.14 |
The Daily Word in faulty ATMs, faulty meter readings and a faulty chemistry teacher
By Mark Lopez [ Fri Apr 4 2014 10:01 AM ]
Mozilla co-founder Brendan Eich stepped down after being protested against for his intolerant views against same-sex marriage. Now some think this is reverse-intolerance.
Sparks from welders are thought to be the cause of a Boston fire that killed 2 firefighters and injured 13 people.
A mother in South Carolina could face 20 years to life in prison after her infant died of an overdose of morphine from her breast milk.
Former President George W. Bush has been getting crazy with the oil paints.
Have you heard of these firefly devices? Apparently they can screw up your water meter readings.
A child abuse prevention rally is scheduled to take place today at noon at the Albuquerque Convention Center.
City websites back on track after Anonymous unleashed a “cyber hurricane” this past weekend.
A political science professor from Johns Hopkins University wrote an analytical paper stating how Walter White was a “bad teacher” and a “failure.”
A man requested $140 from an ATM in Maine, but got $37,000 … can you point out its exact location on this map I'm holding?
V.23 No.12 |
The Daily Word in golden parachutes, flight MH370 and Hawaii's prostitution
By Mark Lopez [ Fri Mar 21 2014 9:28 AM ]
No debris has been found after the second day of an international search for missing Malaysia flight MH370.
I want an $80 million golden parachute!
A motel on the Jersey shore caught fire this morning, leaving at least three people dead and others injured.
Doris Lark, 71, and Floy Watson, 74, say they didn't steal the scrapbooks.
A pedestrian was killed last night while trying to cross I-40 near Route 66 Casino.
A man has been put in jail after he allegedly “targeted” an Albuquerque police officer and his family.
A video of the Foothills shooting on March 16 has surfaced.
A woman withdrew her membership to Planet Fitness because they told her that her body was too rockin'.
V.23 No.5 | 1/30/2014
The Daily Word in Star Wars, Richard Sherman and Combat Gum
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Jan 27 2014 11:03 AM ]
Who won at the 2014 Grammy Awards?
Finally. Combat Gum.
China’s Jade Rabbit crapped out.
Should major cities ban cars?
Richard Sherman is smart.
The French make bad coffee, claim coffee snobs.
The new Star Wars script is done.
What happens if you try to fly weed out of Colorado?
George gave me a credit card knife. It’s cool.
An El Paso woman died skiing at Ski Apache.
Happy birthday Patton Oswalt.
V.22 No.43 | 10/24/2013
The Daily Word in Walter White, Saul Goodman and Puppy Squeezing
By Carl Petersen [ Fri Oct 18 2013 12:12 PM ]
The man cries blood.
The man is on fire.
The man is a lady.
Sleep is like your brain taking a poop.
Some rock stars started out in other rock star’s bands.
Tacos are more delicious than hotdogs.
Find out why your stomach is growling.
Learn all about Bob Odenkirk (Saul Goodman).
Beware the ball biter.
I’m not sure how impressed I am with this snack bag serving bowl.
The people who brought you Rebecca Black’s “Friday,” would like you to now please enjoy Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food,” shooting up the charts with a bullet.
The Sheriff’s Department will hold a funeral procession for Walter White.
Craig Blanchard used to have $135,000 in his garage.
Caution: This puppy squeezing story might wreck your day.
Did the Chinese discover America before Columbus?
Happy birthday Pam Dawber.
V.22 No.39 |
The Daily Word in moon poop, the world's top brand and the "Breaking Bad" finale
By Mark Lopez [ Mon Sep 30 2013 10:49 AM ]
A partial government shutdown sounds serious, no? So, USA Today has answered some important questions as to what that entails.
A business jet crashed into a Santa Monica Airport hangar on Sunday leaving no survivors. Officials aren't quite sure how many people were onboard.
What kind of world is this when computers beat out soda pop for top brand?
Excuse me, Mr. Whac-A-Mole, I think your warehouse is on fire.
It's no secret that astronauts have left behind some sort of memento to commemorate their time on the moon, but who knew it'd be something so personal?
Are you one of those people that never eats food past its expiration date? Here are a few tips to gauge whether you're throwing away perfectly good food.
Santa Fe's Heavenly Boutique is back open after the FBI raided it last week and found 7,300 mg of Oxycodone, a prescription pain medicine.
Anthony Bourdain likes New Mexico's green chile best!
V.22 No.34 |
The Daily Word in World War II vet, same-sex marriage licenses, spontaneous combustion
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Aug 23 2013 11:45 AM ]
One suspect arrested after a World War II vet died following a beating in a parking lot.
New Mexico district judge is ordering the Santa Fe County clerk to start issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
APD accused of handcuffing children.
How do you feel about the idea of Ben Affleck playing Batman?
Flames from massive California fire have reached Yosemite Park.
V.22 No.28 |
The Daily Word in Snowden, apple juice, fire restrictions
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Jul 12 2013 9:28 AM ]
Edward Snowden is seeking temporary asylum in Russia until he can reach one of the Latin American countries that has offered to take him in.
UNM police said a resident of Lobo Village admitted he was trying to make a psychedelic drug inside his apartment.
Closing arguments to begin today in the Levi Chavez murder trial.
House narrowly passes a controversial farm bill that carves out food stamps.
FDA to limit the amount of arsenic allowed in apple juice. Which led me to the question: there's arsenic in apple juice!?
Gentlemen, it might be time to lay off the fish oil.
Some fire restrictions lifted across the state today.
V.22 No.26 |
The Daily Word in ancient fish, Twitter dickery and Pluto's moons
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jul 3 2013 9:19 AM ]
Tomorrow is the 4th of July, but please don't set our state on fire.
A probe has determined that UNM professor's research project on the effects of being a dick on Twitter wasn't actually a project. It was just him being a dick on Twitter.
Yes, of course green chile is the US's best regional food.
I am (™) not sure, but this may be the stupidest lawsuit ever.
Pluto's recently discovered moons get badass, totally metal names.
A man in Alaska caught a massive, ancient fish that was alive during the James Madison Presidency. He's going to stick it on his wall.
V.22 No.24 |
The Daily Word in chemical explosion, NSA, child tattooing
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Jun 14 2013 9:19 AM ]
One dead and nearly 75 injured after a chemical plant explosion in Louisiana.
Good news, Verizon and T-Mobile users: Your phone might be safe from the watchful eyes of the NSA.
Trio of heroes (like the rhyme?) save a group of people and several dogs from a burning apartment building in the heights.
Albuquerque man charged with illegally tattooing his 3-year-old nephew.
Mega Man, the Villager from Animal Crossing and the Wii Fit Trainer are all joining the Super Smash Bros. crew.
Christmas is saved!
British researchers have solved the mystery of how sea mammals hold their breath for so long.
Southwest Women's Options doctor compares death injection to 'flu shot.'
V.22 No.23 |
The Daily Word in tropical storms, wildfires, government surveillance
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Jun 7 2013 9:57 AM ]
James Holmes changes his plea of 'not guilty' to 'not guilty by reason of insanity.'
Tropical Storm Andrea makes her way up the east coast.
Meanwhile in New Mexico, more fire.
A Seattle woman is attempting to live without food for six months, planning to sustain herself on water and sunlight.
US spy chief James Clapper strongly defends government phone and internet surveillance.
Belen Middle School teacher may have been running a fake booster club.
Don't you just hate it when you're trying to be all romantic so you go to your girlfriend's house naked to propose, but it's not her house?
Paula Deen is rolling out her own line of butter.
V.22 No.22 |
The Daily Word in scummy lawyer tricks, Craigslisting your baby and FIRE
By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jun 5 2013 9:33 AM ]
Hey Albuquerque, you're getting paid less than everyone else.
Anti-war demonstrators may have had their First Amendment rights violated, but the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals says that doesn't mean they get to sue.
If you haven't done so already, go ahead and cancel those Jemez mountain camping plans. The Thompson Ridge Fire has grown by 5,000 acres since yesterday.
Friendly advice: Don't try to get rid of your baby via Craigslist.
George Zimmerman's lawyers would like you to believe that a video of "two homeless men fighting over a bike" will help you understand why Zimmerman had to kill Trayvon Martin.
Google Glass porn? "Er… no," says Google.
This old lady decided to jump off a bridge for her 102nd birthday.
The Daily Word in China's fire, the Chavez case and bites on the buttocks
By Mark Lopez [ Mon Jun 3 2013 10:08 AM ]
You have the right to remain silent, now take this cotton swab and swirl it around your mouth for a spell.
Michael Douglas says that you can get throat cancer from an STD. Who'd have thought?
A fire at a poultry plant in Dehui, China kills 119 and injures 50.
Three storm chasers killed in Oklahoma; among them was veteran storm chaser Tim Samaras.
After a lengthy SWAT standoff, police have arrested a father and son in connection with the murder of 8-year-old Sunni Reza.
New Mexico fire crews hope to have two fires (Pecos and Tres Lagunas) fully contained by the end of Monday.
The Levi Chavez trial breaks ground almost six years after the shooting of his wife, Tera Chavez.
Tonight, we say "NO!" to fireworks!
Man arrested for aggravated battery after biting his wife's butt.
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