It's Velen-Times! Use this quiz to find out which of your sexual fantasies are shared by your mate. Don't worry. Only matching perversions show up in the results. Your secret "Bernie on a jet ski" dream will never get out.
EPFL scientists have developed a robot arm that is strong enough to pick up heavy objects, but sensitive enough to pick up an egg. Sexbot wars, engage!
If you can't figure out how to make your partner dump you in 10 seconds flat, call a taxi and cross your fingers that ABQ's Karaoke cab shows up (like gonorrhea, it appears when you least expect it).
Life-sized Star Wars sculptures made entirely from Legos are making an appearance at the New York Toy Fair. (Editor's note: Insert virgin nerd joke here).
How's this for romance? Mites are having sex on your face right now. I think that counts as an orgy. High five!
Want to make your partner feel like an under-achiever? Tell them about the man who cycled from India to Sweden to be with his sweetheart. (Don't mention that if it hadn't worked out, this whole thing would have been about the world's creepiest stalker, instead).
Are you a hopeless un-romantic who hates this ridiculous holiday? Well you're not alone. Read this op-ed by self-proclaimed "Valentine's Day Grinch", Winthrope Quigley of the ABQ Journal.
G and I walk home from church. Frequently, there are pools in the sidewalk that we must swim through, underwater. The water is cold and we can see trout swimming. I offer to pass along her road improvement suggestions to the church.
New Mexico's Spaceport development has problems.
Yes, you can play golf at the Angola Penitentiary golf course.
The ex-controller of the New Mexico Finance Authority has been indicted.
Unintentional, run-away double entendre strikes when Jill Biden introduces the Vice-President.
The Rio Arriba County Sheriff's Department planned to buy a boat three days after cutting hours of service due to lack of funds.
150 years of lesbians photo gallery.
Verdict in the Amish beard-cutting case: "Mullet guilty in beard case."
A woman ate a "Stellanator" in Omaha.
A weird effigy of Obama was lynched in Austin.
This may be the first good, in-depth news item about bath salts.
Groundbreaking video illustrates the best way to clean mushrooms.
Not so groundbreaking: we are running out of fish.
An Intel worker called the police because a coworker put a "kick me" sign on his back. And people kicked him.
Some companies are instructing employees NOT to use work email after hours.
Snoop Dogg was the celebrity guest on The Price is Right yesterday.
Like many before her, Fiona Apple was busted for pot possession at the Sierra Blanca border checkpoint.
Hypnotic map of the 2012 presidential election swing states.
Thousands pilgrimage to Chimayó today.
Las Vegas, N.M., fights fracking and bans oil and gas drilling.
Why Canada should be cheered for ditching the penny.
Menacing Easter bunnies.
Kid sells his kidney for an iPhone.
Marine Corps pilot says he played tag with a UFO in the ’70s.
Guy gets naked for Opposite Day.
Jesus appears in duct tape in Albuquerque.
Coast Guard sinks a ghost ship with a cannon.
Ex-Gov. Gary Johnson says making Gov. Susana Martinez the veep pick would be Sarah Palin, Part Deux.
Smallest town in the States sells for only $900,000.
Why Catholics really eat fish on Fridays.
Pit bull takes a bullet for his owner.
Chevy Chase is an asshole.
Ahmed Obo, the owner/chef at Jambo Café in Santa Fe, was born on the island of Lamu off the coast of Kenya. There, he grew up among the culinary traditions of Africa, Arabia and India. The food at Jambo reflects the Lamu style of culinary fusion. It’s designed to be interesting and different but doesn’t attempt to force anyone too far from their comfort zone. The ingredients, including a host of local meats and veggies, is priced unusually low for a restaurant dealing in clean, local food.
A seafood meal is the one opportunity most Americans will ever have to eat a wild animal. Given the illegality of selling wild game, only hunters and their lucky friends get to munch the many tasty beasts that roam the boondocks. Eating a wild thing is like walking around in bare feet. It's exposure to an ecosystem, and a direct connection with the planet. Eating wild fish is like a swim in the ocean—except in this case, the ocean swims inside of you.
Just in the nick of time, four more years of the Patriot Act.
Hilary Clinton makes surprise visit to Pakistan
Your shark meat could be perch! A study shows that a large percentage of commercial fish is fraudulently labeled.
Saudi woman jailed for driving her car and posting a video of it on Youtube.
A new drug of choice on the prison scene.
Officials concerned that turning red light cameras off may increase red light running. Hmm.
Drought forces NM cattle to graze on federal land.
Russia offers to help Gadhafi exit; France wants heavier attack.
APS trying to force students to come to one last day.
Oh no, cost of coffee going up worldwide!
The Daily Word is late because I couldn't stop looking at XKCD.
“Je ne sais quoi” is an overused phrase, and I’m as guilty as anyone—usually with a terrible, dramatic French accent. At Desert Fish, for once, I said it appropriately.
In two visits to I Love Sushi, I witnessed four birthdays. Having never partied there myself, I asked a sushi chef to fill in the blanks on why the place is such a popular birthday destination.
Special series: The Alibi’s resident food columnist Ari LeVaux reports from Italy for a few issues. Buon appetito!