Today through Thursday it will be partly cloudy with a high of about 82° and not much of a chance of precipitation throughout the day. Friday will be sunny with a high of 83°. Saturday thunderstorms should pop up across the world, particularly on the East Side of Albuquerque, causing damnation for about 50-90% of the Earth's population (pesky holy water monsoons). Skies clear up for the end of the weekend on through to next week. See you next week, sinner!
A Chinese artist, Lu Pingyuan, claims he stole a ghost from an English pub after the ghost agreed to be a piece of art and go on tour. The pub owner is not so happy with this arrangement and is asking the artist to return the ghost immediately.
A Trump supporter warns that if we let the Big Man lose the race, there could be "taco trucks on every corner." That actually sounds pretty awesome.
Stop. You had me at "yoga with goats." I'm moving to Oregon.
The very first confirmed case of identical twin puppies has happened. They're Irish wolfhounds, known to rate somewhere around 8.6 on the Cute-o-meter, and threaten to rend the very fabric of existence with their sweetness.
Here's another animal first: A mouth-breathing dolphin was discovered in New Zealand. Marine biologists aren't sure how or why the little bugger is doing it, but until now it was believed to be impossible.
Experience virtual terror with Björk Digital, a virtual reality exhibition that lets the audience experience a one-on-one concert with Björk. I don't know if my heart could handle such a fright.
Clouds have been rolling through the metro area all day, so there's seemingly a chance of rain this afternoon. Yesterday it was the same situation but someone decided not to follow through with the rain so we all just had to watch it pass us by. Maybe someone will follow through with the signs that they give today. Tomorrow will be about the same, so we have that to look forward to. Things are going to start to heat up on Friday with a high of 86 degrees Fahrenheit, so don't throw your summer wardrobe in the trash compacter, yet (though advised by The City Fashion Council). Next week will be sunny with mild temps, almost like autumn really exists. But of course it does. We aren't all bodies floating in goo being prodded at by reptilian aliens.
I can die happy: here's a video of a Russian sewage truck—filled to the brim with poop—literally popping in the middle of nose-to-nose traffic.
Net neutrality apparently started in the 1920's with the Hush-A-Phone, a device that clipped over the mouthpiece of telephones and allowed the user to muffle their voice and keep their private conversations from the eavesdropping ears of their neighbors. AT&T tried to make it illegal to use third-party attachments on their phones (because monopoly) and ended up going before the FCC over the case. AT&T won, and law students still study it in reference to net neutrality.
The Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts in Philadelphia is trying to attract the ghost of former art photographer Thomas Eakins with nude models and robots. Really.
A gun manufacturer had their replica gun booth shut down at Wizard World, a comic book convention. Not because they did anything wrong, but because people don't like guns, I guess? Um. Obviously, they thought those "wrath of Thor" tweets were literal. Super powers don't kill people. Supervillains do.
Meanwhile, in Russia, they sell model assault rifles in airports. O strange new world, that has such people in it.
So, hundreds of these creepy little stitched up balls of ... something ... washed up on a beach in England. Turns out these horror-movie rejects are actually "sea potatoes," a common species of sea urchin. So far, no one is sure why such a big urchin dump even happened.
Today has been pretty cloudy and this evening we can expect rain and some wind up to 15 mph. Wednesday will be less cloudy but slightly cooler with a high of 89º. Thursday will be sunny and breezy. Friday will be basically the same as Thursday. Pure sunshine all weekend long with a gentle breeze. Monday looks like it will be as cloudy as today (if not more) and cooler with stronger breezes and some hateful glances from the neighbor that died four and a half years ago, Gods rest their soul. I predict next Tuesday will be rainy. Don't forget; it's a safe bet for the rest of the month that it'll rain during the nighttime, so bring an umbrella when you're escaping your gray alien-invaded home in the middle of the night. Happy monsoon season!
Good afternoon, people of the internet! It's almost Friday, which means absolutely nothing to people who work weekends!
The Ringling Bros. finally admit maybe having wild elephants as part of their circus isn’t really that cool.
A 91 year-old woman who was told as a girl she wouldn’t be able to pursue engineering, has landed her dream job as a design consultant specializing in products geared towards the elderly. TAKE THAT, AGEISM AND SEXISM!
Prince played basketball in middle school and his yearbook photo is going to make your Thursday.
Everyone knows the top emojis are the poop, the partying ghost and the monkey covering her eyes. Some genius made an emoji poop dress and it’s all I want this year for my birthday.
Take a lunch break every damn day!
Early voting begins today.
Here's a rundown on the money spent so far by organizations on both sides of the abortion ban measure.
The signs are everywhere. Beware Nob Hill's "Threat from above!"
This woman in North Dakota found a new way to make kids cry on Halloween.
Here's a list of reasons people were denied security clearances with the Department of Defense. Go ahead, do a search for "sex," you know you want to.
Don't dress up as these things for Halloween, please.
How the Ouija Board named itself, and other fascinating tidbits from the history of this peculiar "game."
I riff to a group of strangers on the prevalence of ghosts at Disneyworld. I notice a woman's eyes flash orange, alternating right and left, as she listens to me.
I continuously smash flat rocks with my rubbery sledge hammer, forcing an old sailor to tell me about the spirits I am conjuring by doing so.
I live in a haunted apartment: furniture and propane tanks move toward me, menacingly. I pray fervently. I know am protected now and my fear is stilled. Later, I tell a black kid about the incident.
A man was cooked to death in a tuna factory.
The world’s greatest dad in pictures.
A home invasion prank turned tragic.
There’s been an increase in birth defects in Iraq.
Call the sexy meningitis hotline.
I can’t stop thinking about hamburgers.
Enjoy these ghost photos.
Albuquerque is experiencing 18% office vacancy.
Calibers is conducting a coyote killing contest.
There was a crazy house party on Atrisco.
Happy birthday Penny Marshall.