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The Daily Word in one-star reviews, Christopher Walken's spectacular dancing and strange plumes in the New Mexico sky

It's Wednesday morning,

and a strange plume flashed across radar near the Trinity nuclear test site and nobody knows what it means,

APD will soon elaborate on how their use of "less than lethal force" still managed to kill a man in the Sandia foothills,

Assistant city attorney Greg Wheeler advises that you not pay parking tickets issued by private parking lots, while private parking lot owners advise that you not listen to Greg Wheeler,

Albuquerque's own Supper Truck is getting national attention for responding to a negative review in an adorable way

San Francisco has rounded up a crack troop of firefighting goats,

and Christopher Walken just keeps dancing and dancing.

news

The Daily Word in Phillip Seymour Hoffman, the origin of the Universe and goat simulation

Bill Nye the Science Guy and Ken Ham the Creationist Man finally went head to head in the "origin of the Universe" debate last night. Condensed version: Ham thinks God did it, while Nye says something doesn't add up about that whole Noah's Ark business.

Some New Mexicans are freaked out by the snow that fell this week. They say it doesn't melt. I was going to test this myself but all the snow, um, melted.

CVS is no longer enabling your nicotine addiction. But the guy hanging out in the parking lot will be happy to help you try something harder.

Overnight raids by the NYPD uncovered drug dealing suspects with a possible connection to Philip Seymour Hoffman's death.

Maybe you're feeling a little schlubby this morning and you wonder if it's because Mercury is in retrograde. Here's a way for you to find out.

Big news in the video game world: the people's desire to pretend to be a goat will not go unanswered. Coffee Stain Studio's Goat Simulator may soon enter Beta development.

news

The Daily Word in cemetery Christmas trees, a not-so-terrible pope and Bubba the rogue goat

Christmas will be here before you know it, but that's no excuse to steal trees from dead people.

After seeing how much fun Albuquerque had with it, Valencia County is considering an abortion ban of its own.

North Carolina police have successfully captured Bubba the rogue goat. APD take note: they didn't shoot him.

109 gun related state laws have been passed since the Newtown massacre. 70 of them loosened restrictions.

Another Albuquerque restaurant decided that it could cut costs by not paying its employees the legal minimum wage. But it turns out that the Feds look down on that sort of thing.

Should the teachings of the church be allowed in the public square? What if it's the Church of Satan?

For those who have been too often stymied by the choice between playing a board game and handling dead rodents, here's the chess set you've been waiting for.

Pope Francis has been named Time's Person of the Year due to his incredible achievement of not being completely terrible.

news

The Daily Word in epic mustaches, tasteless paternity tests and heroic bookkeepers

A school shooting was thwarted by empathy and compassion.

An Albuquerque man is a sensation on Breaking Bad. Because of his epic mustache.

It's super lame that "blue moons" are in no way blue.

Has a young girl just been rescued from a psychotic creep who killed her family? What a great time to demand a paternity test!

What do you have to do to get banned from every farm in the UK? Fuck a goat? Oh.

NASA is selling off the huge crawlers it used to transport space shuttles to the Cape Canaveral launch platform. They'll probably go to a company in the private space industry, but if you act quickly you might be able to snag one. Shoot them an offer at public-inquiries@hq.nasa.gov.

And finally, SEO + Google = crappy information.

news

The Daily Word in auto thefts, baby creepers and the KKK

APS to consider a new bathroom policy for transgender students.

Who's watching your baby? For these Houston parents, the answer was "some creepy hacker." He was also yelling at the baby.

Werner Herzog says "Don't text and drive." And it sounds awesome when he says it.

Wondering what Susana Martinez is spending your tax money on? New Mexico In Depth has compiled a searchable data base to answer that question.

A day in the life of the Ku Klux Klan.

Albuquerque thieves love to steal trucks.

And my favorite headline of the week: Goats are eating and peeing all over J. Edgar Hoover’s grave.

news

The Daily Word in high flying, Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi, and goats riding horses

Summer is here and it's time to jump in the water. Free swim lessons for low-income kids!

Unlicensed pilot busted at Double Eagle for flying too high. Or something. I'm not sure how to make this joke actually. He had a plane full of pot, is what I'm trying to say.

Under Susana Martinez, the New Mexico Environment Department isn't so worried about New Mexico's environment. Here's one more example.

Another U.S. Army official whose job is to stop sexual assault has been charged with sexual assault.

The media doesn't think the Obama administration's assault on civil liberties is so minor when it's happening to them.

Maybe those Benghazi emails were doctored?

And finally, visit Newfoundland. Because of this goat riding on a horse.

News

The Daily Word in Gay Marriage, Goat-splosions and Snotwinkles

Hey, guess what? We can all stop arguing about same-sex marriage in New Mexico, because it turns out that it's totally protected by the state constitution! Shwew. So glad that we finally settled that one.

The area around the Pit won't be the pits anymore.

Remember how everyone always thought Michelle Shocked was gay? Well, she just came out! As a huge asshole!

Speaking of assholes, Sandy Hook truthers are still insisting that those kids never got killed. Won't their parents be relieved.

The Westboro "God Hates Fags" Baptist Church is really warming up to the new rainbow colored house across the street.

Why are goat populations exploding? Global warming.

And finally: Who wants snotwinkles?!?

news

The Daily Word in voting for Lance Kerwin, Chad Kroeger and baby goats.

Bob Dylan predicts an Obama victory.

Hurricane Sandy price gouging!

Baby goats wear sweaters.

Don't pee on your lawn in Oklahoma.

The Russians are coming!

Chad Kroeger commands you to look at this photograph.

There's a man-eating leopard on the loose in Nepal.

Let's all try this glowing black light cocktail.

Five technological leaps are coming soon.

Tickle the camel.

Yetis like power lines.

A Santa Fe boy didn't want to clean his room.

Albuquerque fire stations for sale.

The Ether Man is expected to plead guilty.

New Mexico border patrol!

Happy birthday, Lance Kerwin.

NEWS

The Daily Word 8.6.11: The new trend is "swatting," kids; Australian collar bomb hoax; Cha Cha is dead.

The last American harmonica factory is closing.

Transgendered TSA agent files suit against TSA for treating her like a man.

Forget planking and flanking, here's what the cool kids are up to NOW: "swatting."

"Man has sex with cat before throwing it out window."

What the lower U.S. credit rating might mean.

Paul Krassner will be 80 next April. Here's a 2009 interview with America's leading underground satirist.

Pictures from the Fukushima evacuation zone.

The most beautiful goat in the world.

Rio Grande Sun police blotter.

Terry Gilliam animation.

Austrian drain pipe hotel.

Smuggling pot in an ultralight....

18 year old Australian girl was sitting at home when a man in a balaclava broke in and put a collar bomb on her... or not.

Half of a missing early Hitchock film was found in New Zealand.

Cha Cha from Grease, aka Annette Charles, died.

News

The Daily Word 10.29.10: Deputy gets bombed, bears get shot, casino gets hosed

Video of deputy getting arrested for DWI. Priceless.

You can now shoot more bears, and cougars. That's not cool, man.

Oh my god, the deputy getting arrested is just too funny.

Dude shoots other dude, gets no jail time.

Sandia Casino gets hosed for $1.2 million.

Four-year-old can be sued for negligence, judge says.

Killer goat was not sick, just horny.

Halliburton implicated in BP well failure. Surprised?

Somali militants execute teenage girls.

Allen Iverson to play basketball in Turkey.

Pope says Stephen Hawking is wrong, God created the world. God not available for comment.

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    Sage Francis
    Sage Francis6.21.2014