Leo D gets the O
And it's about goddamn time.
My dear, sweet angel, Leo D:
When I was watching Titanic for the first time when I was like six or seven with my mom, I cried because that dumbass Rose didn’t actually love you enough to scoot the fuck over. Everyone else and their Mom (like, literally) would jump into the deathly freezing water because why the fuck wouldn’t you? The character Jack Dawson was too good for that alternate universe.
I mean, I knew you were really alive, but I was so moved by your performance that you became Jack Dawson in my mind for a few years until I saw the next film that you were in (that I had access to), Catch Me If you Can. “Oh my gawd, he’s so charming,” I thought in my stupid 13-year-old brain, “I’d toooootally marry him. I probably have a chance after puberty … Yeah, definitely.” After puberty it changed to, “I’d toooootally tap that,” because it was like 2004 and that’s how we talked then, “but liiiike circa 1999.” Then a few years later, I realized you are perfect and age like cheese and I would do whatever you want.
Like, you wanna go get ice cream? Sure. Want me to read King Lear to you? Of course. Teach you how to play the viola? I’ll try, honey-buns. Lock you up in chains and run a sander over them honey buns?
W h a t e v e r y o u w a n t.
When you won at the Golden Globes for Best Actor and “shared” it with all the first nations people and indigenous people all over the world? Be still my beating (and bleeding) social justice heart. And now you’re using your win as a platform to address climate change??? You ANGEL. I just checked your Facebook page and you posted about the Peruvian Amazon Rainforest oil spill (which has barely been covered by most mainstream media sources). I think I’m dead. I died. Goodbye. (jk, calm down.)
“His Smile was one of those rare smiles that you may come across four or five times in life. It seemed to understand you and believe in you just as you would love to be understood and believed in.”
Get it, Leo. You get it all day.
The Daily Word in David Bowie, the Golden Globes and the lottery
Didn’t catch the Golden Globes last night? Here are the best and worst moments so you don’t feel left out of the office gossip.
Someone did the math and broke down when it actually pays to play the lottery.
The elephants of Ringling circus are retiring, and going where all good retirees go: Florida.
Want a little less public and a little more private PDA in Times Square? This February you can.
Yesterday was No Pants Subway Ride, and more than 60 cities around the world participated.
The Daily Word in the Golden Globes, Islamophobia, and Texas
The Golden Globe nominations are IN.
Kendrick Lamar is perfect and I want him to win everything at the Grammys, and it looks like he very well could.
Okay, I actually believe that this is a missile.
Trying to understand millennials politically? This may help.
Ever since I realized people take Hitler—I mean Trump—seriously, I can’t stop worrying about it.
The Planned Parenthood shooter can’t shut the fuck up.
Take note, Susana: Syrians are definitely, legally allowed to go to Texas now.
The Daily Word in Kreskin, tono and the president of Croatia.
Two APD officers will be charged with murder in the shooting death of James Boyd.
Here’s a list of last night’s Golden Globe winners.
Guys who post selfies are crazy.
A man with Broca’s aphasia can only say the word “tono,” which isn’t precisely even a word.
Gastrointestinal microbes may cause arthritis.
If you let me stare into your eyes for four minutes you’ll start getting lots of email from me.
A graduate of Los Alamos High School is the new president of Croatia.
Happy birthday, Kreskin.
The Daily Word in Golden Globes, mile-marker 420 and the Handsome Family
Who won at the 2014 Golden Globes?
On top of everything else, is there trouble in Obama’s marriage?
A Japanese company is buying Jim Beam.
Tiny windmills generate power.
In Colorado, people keep stealing mile marker 420.
Ellen De Generes, who will host the 2014 Oscars, has been linked to internet pirating of movie screening copies.
Discover the secret world of zit-popping videos.
If you were thinkging about photographing tiny plastic people, somebody beat you to it.
The dark side of the moon is turquoise.
Blessed be. Enjoy these photos of modern-day witches.
Rest in peace, Sam Berns.
An arrest was made in the flash-mob robbery of Angel Eyes boutique on San Pedro.
David Eckert will receive a $1.6 million settlement for receiving unlawful anal probings.
HBO taps Albuquerque’s Handsome Family for the “True Detective” theme song.
Happy birthday Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
The Daily Word in Golden Globes, inflatable ISS, TNG bloopers
Bloomberg calls for universal background checks for firearms sales.
Attempted robbery turned shooting in Kmart parking lot off of Carlisle.
NASA to build an $17.8 million inflatable extension to the ISS.
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" season 2 gag reel.
KOAT presents a slideshow of things people hate more than Congress.
Woman in Louisiana arrested for stalking herself.
News teams in southern California complain about the "cold" weather.
The Daily Word in strange naps, strange eyes, strange sexual taboos
Gunman opened fire Tuesday afternoon in a busy shopping mall near Portland, killing 2 and injuring one before turning the gun on himself.
Drunk man found napping inside a clothing store on Central tased twice by Albuquerque police.
Who was snubbed in the 2013 Golden Globe nominations?
Those darn distracted pedestrians.
Was an English monk in North America 150 years before Columbus?
Super macro photos of the human eye are creepy and cool.
Awwww, baby animals!
Truly fascinating facts about chameleons.
Nothing gets me in the Christmas spirit like terrified children sitting on Santa’s lap.
Bernalillo County Commission plans to spend $900,000 in attempt to stop contraband from making it into the Metro Detention Center.
Technician with a home-alarm company charged with burglary.
PBS presents: Concussion watch.
Big Brother is watching ... always watching.
Strange sexual taboos across the world include the idea that "... engaging in sexual relations out of doors will lead to the failure of the crops."
What’s going on with Syria?
Thanks to Nick Brown and Margaret Wright for the links!
Go for the Gold
“The Golden Globe Awards” on NBC
Hollywood’s award season is in full swing. It began last week with the lowly People’s Choice Awards and continues though Feb. 26 with the handing out of the prestigious 84th annual Academy Awards. In between, we get award show telecasts of varying import, from the Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards (Jan. 12 on VH1) to the Independent Spirit Awards (Feb. 25 on IFC).
The Daily Word 1.18.11: Iran hates love, resurrecting the mammoth, Facebook mug shots
Former Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has a drug problem. The drug? The power of being governor.
Fuck love! Iran bans production of all Valentine’s Day gifts.
Ricky Gervais hit the ball out of the park with his snide satire hosting the Golden Globes.
Protests and civil unrest are ripping Tunisia apart.
WikiLeaks strikes again; Julian Assange to release the tax info of 2,000 very wealthy people.
Dick Cheney says Obama has “learned from experience” that the Bush policies were right. I’ve “learned from experience” that Cheney is still an idiot.
Holy Jurassic Park! A team of scientists are trying to clone and bring back the extinct mammoth.
TV personality Regis Philbin is finally calling it quits at age 79.
The Supreme Court rejects an appeal from opponents of D.C.’s same-sex marriage law.
Chihuahua vs. Owl: The Battle for World Domination.
A California city considers posting drunk drivers’ mug shots on Facebook.
The Daily Word 01.17.11: Golden Globes, Steve Jobs and the Trenta.
The Golden Globes were last night.
Steve Jobs is taking another medical leave.
Only five more years until the creation of a woolly mammoth.
Starbucks rolls out the Trenta.
Some people were mean to animals.
People are burning themselves in Africa.
A widow was tormented by djinn.
Jared Loughner was interested in cryptids.
The moon has a solid inner core and a fluid outer core.
A man was beaten in Barelas.
Cleveland High School officials refused a proposed senior song.
See Koat’s parade of mugshots.
Jason Moya was found dead in a truck.
Sophie at DCF pokes fun at Martinez’ website.
Happy birthday, Steve Earle.
The Daily Word 01.18.10: Stephen Baldwin, Death Bear and Golden Globe Winners.
Taliban suicide attacks killed five in Afghanistan.
Specially embossed New Testament codes are on some US military weapons, though the military asked for plain ones.
This is the most depressing day of the year. It’s also MLK day, by pure coincidence.
Here are the Golden Globe winners. Was Sherlock Holmes a comedy?
The last protector of Anne Frank has died.
New York’s skinniest house sold.
Learn how to pretend like you like Animal Collective.
The Somali pirates are at it again.
The Death Bear will dispose of your ex’s belongings.
Nicolas Cage has to pay $14 million in taxes.
New Mexico and Colorado were hit with an earthquake last night.
Pete Domenici Jr. is running for governor.
A guy was selling guns out of his RV at Love’s truck stop. And he was a felon.
It’s Danny Kaye’s birthday. Here he is singing “Everything is Tickety-Boo.”
Thanks to Geoffrey Anjou for the best of today’s links.