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V.22 No.49 | 12/5/2013

Arts Feature

Knowing Your Enemies ...

In the War on Christmas

This … this is war! No! No! Oh no! A Christmas war! We’re in a war! A very special Christmas war.

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Holidays

The Last Most Beautiful Thing Not Yet Ruined

No matter how snow-sparkled and gingerbread-housed your childhood may have been, working a retail gig at Christmastime is enough to turn anyone into a total Scrooge. I spent a good 15-plus years vending knickknacks and gift certificates to an only occasionally grateful public, and I’ve gotta say—it changed me, maybe not for the better.

Yes, I’ve endured hearing A Charlie Brown Christmas on repeat hour after hour, week after week, until the Vince Guaraldi Trio became the stuff of nightmares. I’ve borne customer bellyaches about out of stock items, pawing listlessly through the back room for products I knew perfectly well wouldn’t be unearthed until January. I’ve been on the receiving end of customer jeremiads for no other reason than that—shocker—the store was really busy. And by no means did I suffer the worst of what the season has to offer. Can you blame me for feeling decidedly meh this time of year, even if it’s been ages since I had to touch a cash register?

And the point is, folks, that Albuquerque’s Twinkle Light Parade is coming and you’ve got one more day to register your floats.

But I’m not entirely a lost cause, because one thing still has the capacity to rise above it all. One sparkling night of cheer, one public act of guileless sweetness. One word that cannot be said angrily or critically.

Twinkle.

You’re with me, right? Twinkle is the most cheerful word I know. Twinkle twinkle twinkle. I get giddy just typing it. Twinkle! And the point is, folks, that Albuquerque’s Twinkle Light Parade is coming and you’ve got one more day to register your floats.

Choose from one of nine categories of (try “Misfit”—that sounds like a good one, doesn’t it?) and pay your entry fee (nada for government, $25 for single families and single vehicles of a non-commercial nature, $50 for nonprofits, schools and community entries, and $100 for commercial entries). Visit the city website for deets and the application—the deadline is mañana, Friday, Nov. 15. The parade happens in conjunction with Nob Hill’s Shop and Stroll on Dec. 7.

news

The Daily Word in fat stacks, emo countries and Roasted Turkey Doritos

Someone in Arizona and someone in Missouri bought the winning tickets for the $587.5 million jackpot.

Ask two people in New Mexico to spot you some cash because this morning, they're millionaires.

Feds to probe the culture of APD.

Prompted by religion, a ENMU graduate returned toilet paper he stole from the school years ago.

The world's most emo countries, color-coded.

On Monday, there was no no violent crime in NYC. That anyone knows of.

And fast-food workers there go on strike.

The immortal jellyfish ages backward.

People in India arrested for political Facebook posts.

AP Style Guide—the rulebook for most media—bans the use of "homophobia" in favor of something "more neutral" ... ?

Holiday flavorcountry: Roasted Turkey Doritos.

Down in the dumps? There's a good chance you're going to spend your money foolishly. (Plus: Studies making fun of your spending habits a surefire cure for depression.)

Pro wrestler wants his Romney tattoo erased from his face.

Feature

Buy locally made goods online

Thanks to cottage industry supersite Etsy, you can buy holiday gifts made by people in your city. Amy Dalness outlines her favorite items in this week’s feature: Etsy-Querque. She also lists great local businesses with rad gift options. Keep the cash circulating in our stretch of desert.

And hey, did you know one of the Etsy founders is a Burqueño?

V.21 No.46 | 11/15/2012

Feature

Our favorite Burque vendors on the cottage-industry supersite—just in time for the holidays.

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