Yes Dear Part V
Khalil Gibran has a poem about love called “Love One Another” There is his version, and my own ideas…
Love One Another
By Khalil Gibran and Jenny Gamble
Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
or in many cases, waves that crash on the shore obliterating any signs of young shore life and taking that waste back out to the ocean where it can be buried deep below the dark shark infested waters…
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
preferably with whiskey or wine- and YES, have a couple of cups, bottles, growlers, flasks, whatever gets the job done…
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
I agree, some people like whole wheat, some people like italian loaves, and sometimes your wife is on Atkins, and if you try to give her bread, you may want to do it with a pair of boxing gloves- carbs have destroyed a lot of good relationships…
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
mom and dad are in the church choir and this is probably the only time that they are together singing joyously, and that is just as well… there is no dancing and that is just as well too…
but let each one of you be alone,
and that is why they have a two-story home with several bedrooms…
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
If my dad brings a lute in the house, well… I don’t think “yes dear” is going to save him…
though they quiver with the same music.
quiver is not the word I would choose, more like cower, perhaps falling to your knees and praying to God you make it out alive could be appropriate?
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping;
oh no! This would NEVER work. My dad- he loses things, sometimes he puts them in his shirt pocket and they fall out of his shirt pocket and into the lake when he is untying his boat from the dock-lost forever… My mom- she forgets where she puts things. Then she gets upset, then my dad has to try to remember to say “yes dear”. It’s messy… Best if they just hold on to their own stuff I think…
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
or a giant pill box with several medication times a day can contain your hearts, your knees, your blood pressure, your high cholesterol, etc…
And stand together yet not too near together;
if mom and dad are fighting, it’s best that one of them goes to see a movie or even out of town for a couple of days. This generally keeps the marriage running more smoothly. I think that true love is synonymous with the words- traveling sales job…
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
If by temple you mean bedroom, and by stand apart you mean separate then I think this works well in marriage. Never try to save money on bedrooms when buying a home with the one you love, save money on land, or location first… trust me on this one
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
oak tree and the cypress tree together in the same dirt is going to make for some roots getting tangled… That creates a whole host of problems that my pops could tell you all about…
…
I don’t want to seem like I don’t believe in love, or that marriage is a bad thing. I think that love is subjective. I think that love is about compromise and learning and listening. It’s about knowing that walking away, means staying to fight another day together. You don’t find that kind of love in the aisles of Walmart. You don’t reserve it for one night at a fancy restaurant. You cannot buy it at Zales. It is not meant to be sanctioned off for one day a year to express or to share. It isn’t red, white, pink, it’s all the colors, the grey areas especially. You get it if you are lucky and you keep it if you are smart, conscious, and patient. It’s knowing when to say “I won’t” and when to say “I do;” it’s knowing when to say “yes” and when to “no;” it’s knowing when to say something, and when to say nothing and just listen; it’s knowing when to say “I love you” and when to say “yes dear.”
See Part I
