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V.25 No.19 | 05/12/2016

The Daily Word in Crime, Animals and Global Warming

The Daily Word

Step one to dealing with a smart phone when you have ADHD: Turn your notifications off.

“I like him!” Paul Ryan says smiling while submerging himself in a tank of bleach.

Um, Loretta Lynch for president, PLEASE!

These pups can bring world peace.

What is the most watched television show in New Mexico? Have you ever heard of it?

Instead of stopping our use of fossil fuels, let's give cows oregano to combat global warming.

For-Profit schools are watching this closely (unless they're swimming in a pool of money).

Police are on the lookout for a man who may be connected to a double homicide that happened on Tuesday.

The horrible nitwit George Zimmerman tried to auction off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin.

V.25 No.8 | 2/25/2016

news

The Daily Word in Kalamazoo shooting, Kesha and Apple

The Daily Word

Kalamazoo gunman suspect charged with 6 counts of murder.

Kesha’s court battle with her producer has everyone riled up and it’s for a damn good reason.

My heart strings are about to be tugged right out of my chest because what can be sweeter than this?

Jeb Bush has parted ways with the 2016 Presidential election, folks.

FBI VS Apple. Who will win?

For 2 minutes and 40 seconds I forgot that this Game of Thrones and Donald Trump mashup actually has real footage of things Donald Trump has said.

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool is the best of all time.

V.25 No.7 | 2/18/2016

news

The Daily Word in Lawsuits, Kanye West and Saturday Night Live

The Daily Word

Peyton Manning is facing some harsh allegations.

I bet Donald Trump was that kid who got picked last by all his classmates growing up. I mean, what else would explain his ridiculous actions?

But how does one get themselves $53M in debt?

Saturday Night Live has added 10 more years to my life with the most accurate and hilarious skit.

Whole Foods is my real American Dream.

Lady Gaga pays tribute to legendary prince David Bowie.

Life has never been more clear and I owe it all to this life hack that has changed my life for the greater good.

V.24 No.10 | 03/05/2015

news

The Daily Word in Breaking Bad pizza, iPhone hacking and court-mandated circumcision

The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 11,

and the New Mexico senate has killed an anti-union bill,

Sandia Labs is trying to hack into your iPhone,

Breaking Bad fans keep throwing pizzas on some lady’s NE Heights home,

video game designers still don’t know how boobs work,

members of the University of Oklahoma’s SAE fraternity are sorry for being so racist,

and a Florida woman is running from the law because she doesn’t want her 4-year-old son circumcised.

Have a great day!

V.22 No.52 |

news

The Daily Word in drones, reefer stores, hematomas and how the NSA controls your iPhone

The Daily Word

Here's a list of local holiday closures to help you figure out when to put out your trash and stuff.

The Rio Grande is bone-dry in southern New Mexico.

Santa Fe's plastic bag ban takes effect February 27th 2014.

The Johnny Tapia film is coming soon.

NSA has 100% access to your iPhone. Messages, contacts—and they can remotely turn it into a listening device. Not cool.

Ariel Castro's neighbor was a murder-raping pig and he is going to jail.

Michael Schumacher is getting relatively better after his terrible skiing accident.

There is now a better cardboard box, people.

Cab Calloway's lexicon of hip will make you the life of the party before you cop a final.

Weed stores will open their doors in Denver tomorrow.

Dig this totally righteous anti-Nazi Christmas card from 1943.

You will need this guide to identifying and hiding from drones.

Buy Chuck Norris' house.

A tanker train exploded in North Dakota.

"The octopus-man would make a fine policeman or soldier ...."

V.22 No.28 |

news

The Daily Word in stand your ground, electric Apple and Cory Monteith's death

The Daily Word

George Zimmerman trial outcome causes speculation on the "stand your ground" law.

Taking photos of the secretary of state's house and a pellet gun in your car? Someone's been a busy boy.

Apple is set to investigate a claim that a woman was electrocuted by her iPhone.

"Glee" star Cory Monteith was found dead in a Vancouver hotel over the weekend. Police have ruled out foul play.

"Angel" the dog is said to be recovering well after having her throat slashed.

Heavy rain catches Albuquerque citizens in the metro area off guard.

Jury deliberations for the Levi Chavez murder trial started at 8:30 this morning.

K-Y Intense Arousal gel causes Alabama post office evacuation. No joke.

V.21 No.38 |

news

The Daily Word in drugged driving, class warfare, the 47 percent and fire tornados

The Daily Word

New Mexico's Court of Appeals ruled that convicted "drugged drivers" must install ignition interlocks, though the devices don't detect drugs.

Romney projects "class warfare" onto Obama whose campaign is stronger than his opponent's despite less cash flow. And Ann Romney defends her husband's efforts against GOP critics.

How Americans with jobs escape paying income taxes (by not making enough money to escape poverty). Paul Krugman chimes in about the "47 percent."

Extremist mobs protesting the anti-Islamic film made by some American nut job get violent in Pakistan.

Some crazy people spent days in line to get the new iPhone.

An article about the tiny home movement and new, tiny apartment units in New York (I thought they already had those).

Fiona Apple joins Willie Nelson and Snoop Dog in the arrested-in-West-Texas-for-possession-of-marijuana club.

Another officer-involved shooting in Albuquerque.

Republican First Congressional District candidate Janice Arnold-Jones portrays birth control benefits as an obligation to "pay for your recreational sex."

Lindsay Lohan plays Elizabeth Taylor in a Lifetime movie. Watch the "craptastic" trailer!

Fire tornados!

Places to go before global warming ruins them.

Weather: Highs in the low '90s through the weekend.

news

The Daily Word in iPhone 5, Amanda Palmer and Endeavour

The Daily Word

Chick-fil-A bows out of homophobe politics.

Students protest racist anti-abortion propaganda at UNM.

At 11:30 a.m., Endeavour will fly over White Sands.

The Mars rover got some snaps of an eclipse.

Register to vote.

OK, so why isn't New Mexico big in solar?

Oh, that Jon Stewart: Chaos on Bullshit Mountain

Beyoncé is a good role model for the Obama daughters, says the president.

Maybe we should elect Canada as POTUS.

How will LGBT youth fare in a new Tunisia?

iPhone 5 lines are forming around the country.

It's OK if you don't want kids. In 2008, you could just drop them off in Nebraska.

A woman screaming "I'm Jack Sparrow" hijacks a passenger ferry and crashes it into other boats.

Amanda Palmer got more than $1 million through Kickstarter to make an album. People are wondering what the hell she's spending it on.

Work backward out of a creative rut.

What's next in body mods?

V.21 No.15 | 4/12/2012

news

The Daily Word in awesome Canada, Opposite Day and the sinking ghost ship

The Daily Word

Thousands pilgrimage to Chimayó today.

Las Vegas, N.M., fights fracking and bans oil and gas drilling.

Why Canada should be cheered for ditching the penny.

Menacing Easter bunnies.

Kid sells his kidney for an iPhone.

Marine Corps pilot says he played tag with a UFO in the ’70s.

Guy gets naked for Opposite Day.

Jesus appears in duct tape in Albuquerque.

Coast Guard sinks a ghost ship with a cannon.

Ex-Gov. Gary Johnson says making Gov. Susana Martinez the veep pick would be Sarah Palin, Part Deux.

Smallest town in the States sells for only $900,000.

Why Catholics really eat fish on Fridays.

Pit bull takes a bullet for his owner.

Chevy Chase is an asshole.

V.20 No.39 |

news

The Daily Word in election results, rain and scoopable chicken

The Daily Word

Yesterday's election results here.

Assassination plot #587 against Afghan President Hamid Karzai foiled.

Some good news for Democrats.

It totally rained yesterday!

Can having incompetent lawyers invalidate your death-penalty sentence? I'm asking for a friend.

House Republicans triple the budget to defend the Defense of Marriage Act.

Anonymous may or may not attack the New York Stock Exchange.

Bad news for fans of blowjobs.

Andrew Breibart tries to link President Obama to the New Black Panther Party.

Nazis are being hunted again in Germany.

Astronomers use science the test the legend of Frankenstein's birth.

Israeli scientists win the chemistry Nobel prize for the discovery of quasicrystals.

Apple announced an updated iPhone yesterday, but I'm more interested in this 24-year-old video that foretells many of the new phone's features.

Meet Sesame Street's new food insecure muppet.

Disney will be releasing more animated classics as 3D re-releases.

NBA preseason is cancelled as labor talks put the rest of the regular season is in jeopardy.

I thought this was a crazy fever-dream, but Popeye's is introducing scoop-shaped chicken nuggets.

Ten classic books that were originally rejected by publishers.

It turns out buying groceries at a drug store is a bad deal.

This year's 20 best microphotos.

Are your Facebook statuses interesting?

WIll this current season be the last for The Simpsons?

Two restaurants frequented by my creepy uncle are locked in a legal battle.

Hey Emily, did you see the Coen brothers are making a TV show?

Happy Birthday Larry Fine!!!

V.20 No.33 |

NEWS

The Daily Word 8.22.11 likes Antarctic ice flow, robo-poopers, famous dolphins, and more.

The Daily Word

Gaddafi's regime appears to be crumbling in the aftermath of the capture of 3 of his sons.

NASA space research leads to first complete map of ice flow in Antarctica.

Expo New Mexico events manager charged with child solicitation.

Gang of young Albuquerque vandals arrested and accused of disobeying their parents.

Who wore it better? MC Hammer or Aladdin?

Sarah Palin gets last chance to enter presidential race.

Awww. Winter the dolphin with her prosthetic tail finally gets the the fame she deserves.

The Debut of RoboDump 1.0 (yes, the 'dump' stands for what you think it does).

Florida police arrest a man outside of a McDonald's for popping his own back zits in public.

Lots of quotes from different rock songs to make your day a little wiser.

Man in a flowered dress and whitey tighties on his head robs a Texas convenience store.

Travel agents tell funny stories about stupid people.

61-year-old lifegaurd sues state after getting fired for refusing to wear a speedo.

Five new ways to tie a tie.

Japanese iPhone users will soon be able to get sophisticated earthquake alerts.

Super racist Nivea ad.

6 amazing optical illusions.

V.20 No.30 | 7/28/2011

news

The Daily Word with Healthier Happy Meals, MIA Bronze Sheep, Netflix Rate Hikes

The Daily Word

You couldn’t pay me to live in downtown Detroit. Well, maybe you could.

What heartless bastard would steal these poor innocent bronze sheep statues?

It takes real guts and dedication to remove your own hernia with a butter knife.

A man’s on the loose after stabbing a woman in a Virginia mall ... in the buttocks?

Norwegian massacre suspect Anders Behring Breivik is a “a little bit surprised” he was able to kill 76 people; I guess that’s what happens when you use guns and bombs in crowded places.

That smoke you’ve been seeing is from the Albuquerque Metals Recycling Plant in the South Valley.

Only in the South will you get this type of NASCAR pre-race prayer.

How many of you sleep with your iPhone?

Governor Jerry Brown of California signs the Dream Act into law.

McDonald’s debuts healthier Happy Meals featuring fruits and veggies and smaller french fry portions.

Netflix is getting a hell of a lot of flak for its proposed rate increases.

Scientists say the “God Particle,” which explains why matter has mass, could be found by 2012.

Meanwhile, buzkill scientists in Hong Kong claim that time travel is impossible based on recent research.

V.20 No.24 |

news

The Daily Word: Bosque Closure, Sarah Palin Quits Something Else, TSA's Mobil Groping Teams

The Daily Word

Mayor Berry close portions of the Bosque.

Rio Rancho police are cracking down on tailgaters.

Police arrest La Familia cartel boss.

UNM scientists prove that men are funnier than women.

Stephen Colbert finds the one Republican candidate who can beat Obama.

Sarah Palin quits her bus tour halfway through.

Watch out for the TSA Mobile Groping Squads.

The Supreme Court will review the patentability of medical diagnostic tests.

Man arrested after IRS accidently deposits $110,000 into his bank account.

Wimbledon officials wants female tennis players to stop grunting so loudly.

Iran wants to send a monkey into space.

Bronies are real, and they're in Albuquerque.

Top 10 brands that will disappear next year.

Coming soon to a restaurant near you: horse-semen shots.

Your dishwasher is slowly killing you.

This giant chicken-deboning machine is terrifying, awesome.

Man ships himself across country in a crate equipped to play a MMO as part of an art project.

The earliest American artwork discovered is …

Oh yeah, they remade Footloose.

New iPhone rumor #32.

Pray for a Destiny's Child reunion.

The seven types of friends everyone needs.

Happy Birthday John Dillinger!!!

V.20 No.22 |

news

The Daily Word: Alec Baldwin for Mayor, Upgrade Your iPhone Today, Mass-Grave In Texas

The Daily Word

Wallow Fire is creeping towards the NM state line.

Connecticut became the 13th state to decriminalize marijuana.

Two dogs die after being left in hot Animal Welfare vehicle.

Conservative activist group puts fake eviction notices on Detroit homeowners' doors.

Margaret Thatcher won't meet with Sarah Palin.

The owner of Steins Ghost Town was found shot to death.

The Texas mass-grave that wasn't.

Speaker of the House John Boehner more than doubled his monthly expense account.

Long list of sports figures who claimed their Twitter was hacked.

E. Coli infections in Tennessee.

New deep space images from the VLT Survey Telescope.

Alec Baldwin is considering running for mayor of New York City.

How to upgrade your iPhone to iOS 5 today!

Australia's Department of Defense claims to have lost all of it's UFO files.

One out of four US hackers is a FBI informant.

Good news for the 23,322 bittorrenters accused of sharing The Expendables.

The most kissed girl in the world.

Why aren't airplane seats designed better?

Peanutweeter is the new Garfield Minus Garfield.

10 video game facts about the late Macho Man Randy Savage.

Happy birthday Joan Rivers!!!

V.20 No.16 |

news

The Daily Word: Long Form Birth Certificate, Secret Nazi UFOs, Rainbow Poo

The Daily Word

President Obama releases his long form birth certificate, but haters got to hate.

Apple to update iPhones and iPads to fix location tracking.

Dude, it's cold out today.

General Petraeus will be nominated to be the new director of the CIA.

San Francisco may ban circumcisions.

Homeless woman is facing 20 years in prison for sending her child to the wrong school.

Coming soon: Rainbow poo.

Santa Fe deputy caught on camera shoplifting.

Hitler ordered the creation of Nazi UFOs to destroy London and New York.

Entire new order of insects discovered at South African truck stop.

Anti-gay hate crime leads to eight horses killed in a barn fire.

William S. Burroughs (who died in 1997) is on trial for corrupting Turkish morals.

The Sony Playstation Network outage looks much worse than originally thought.

Sweet Chernobyl graffiti.

Budget cuts force SETI to shut down its telescope facility.

A guide to making people feel old.

Will women's clothing ever be standardized?

You can listen to the Beastie Boys new album here.

You have a month to rescue your photos from Friendster.

Unstoppable raft of fire ants is waiting for you.

Things that are overexposed.

The world's most powerful laser is being built in Eastern Europe.

Jon Bon Jovi is opening a pay what you can restaurant in New Jersey.

Marshfield, Massachusetts: the town that banned Pac Man.

Cupcake flavored vodka.

Pittsburgh has a ninja problem.

Be your own souvenir.

This incredibly safe lame chemistry set comes with no chemicals.

14 serial killers who were never captured.

Six of the rarest of rare-earth minerals.

Happy birthday Walter Lantz!!!

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