Indiana's Joyous Goodbye to Mike Pence
Anticipating greater tragedies to come
As a native Hoosier, I feel like I am in the unique position to express both sadness that the hateful, enemy-of-all-women Mike Pence will (presumably) be Donald Trump's running mate in the 2016 election, but also great joy that he will be out of my home state and ceasing to make us look bad. Being saddled with the dying city of Gary is bad enough.
As Samantha Bee said, "Indiana hates Mike Pence as much as Indiana Jones hates snakes." And it's true. The Indiana Governor is so out-of-touch that in a 1999 op-ed he wrote that Disney's Mulan was a ploy to get women to enlist in the military, describing it as "mischievous liberal propaganda." About as mischievous as, say, trying to mandate funerals for aborted fetuses. Pence also claimed in a 2001 essay that "despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn't kill. In fact, two out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking related illness." Meaning: one in three smokers does die from a smoking related illness, which seems like a pretty high number to me, but you know, I'm not in line for the presidency or anything.
In summary: Mike Pence is somehow even crazier than other notable, absolutely out-of-their-mind Indiana natives like both Michael and La Toya Jackson and Axl Rose. Hands down zanier and more of a bigot than Red Skelton.
We don't have the best legacy in Indiana, but we do have Plan-It-X records, Bloomington and Indianapolis, the Hoosier National Forest and Clifty Falls State Park, Larry Bird and Brendan Frasier.
That Mike Pence will be added to Indiana's legacy, instead of written from history as the terrible, bumbling governor he is, is a regional tragedy, and sadly,on track to become a national one.
The Daily Word in Republicans and Lemonade
The Daily Word in disciples, bike cops and a prostitute tester?
President Barack Obama sat down with David Simon, creator of the hit HBO show “The Wire,” to talk about the drug trade.
The Disciples of Christ are considering moving their biennial convention out of Indiana after the governor signed a new state law allowing businesses to turn away gay customers.
A woman is being charged with fraud for allegedly milking benefits after false claims that she was injured in the Boston Marathon bombing.
Authorities believe Andreas Lubitz, a co-pilot for Germanwings Flight 9525 (which crashed en route to Dusseldorf and left 150 people dead), may have had an illness that he kept secret from his employers.
Yesterday, San Francisco's public defender called on an independent investigation of the sheriff's department after claims that four officers forced prisoners to engage in “gladiator-style fights.”
UNM's athletic department is trying to come up with $500,000 to $1 million to fund scholarships for student athletes.
An alleged sexual assault at a juvenile detention center has New Mexico's juvenile justice system in a tizzy.
A social media company in Germany wants to hire a “prostitute tester.”
Odds & Ends
The Daily Word 4.15.11: Ides of April
A man and his pig.
Bosque Farms cop investigated for stealing stuff from the department. Third in a year.
Tornado kills two in Oklahoma.
Meat contaminated with nasty bacteria.
Indiana House committee passes immigration bill.
World's first 3-D porno movie.
Arizona approves 'Birther' bill.
Brooke Mueller tries to pawn watch and stereo.
Marilyn Manson wants to be in Charles Manson biopic with Lindsay Lohan.
The Daily Word: 12.7.10
Julian Assange arrested in London.
City Councilor urges Sunport to can TSA agents.
It's the 69th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Taking aspirin cuts cancer death risk by one fifth.
Indiana business owner fires self to save employees' jobs.
Artesia man charged with manslaughter in Russian Roulette death. (They were playing with a semi-automatic pistol.)
Happy Birthday, Eli Wallach.
Wesley Snipes will appear on Larry King Live before going to jail.
Deer gets other deer caught in antlers, fights off coyotes.
Wife bites off husband's tongue during kiss.