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V.25 No.28 | 07/14/2016
Lord Voldemort

Indiana's Joyous Goodbye to Mike Pence

Anticipating greater tragedies to come

As a native Hoosier, I feel like I am in the unique position to express both sadness that the hateful, enemy-of-all-women Mike Pence will (presumably) be Donald Trump's running mate in the 2016 election, but also great joy that he will be out of my home state and ceasing to make us look bad. Being saddled with the dying city of Gary is bad enough.

As Samantha Bee said, "Indiana hates Mike Pence as much as Indiana Jones hates snakes." And it's true. The Indiana Governor is so out-of-touch that in a 1999 op-ed he wrote that Disney's Mulan was a ploy to get women to enlist in the military, describing it as "mischievous liberal propaganda." About as mischievous as, say, trying to mandate funerals for aborted fetuses. Pence also claimed in a 2001 essay that "despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn't kill. In fact, two out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking related illness." Meaning: one in three smokers does die from a smoking related illness, which seems like a pretty high number to me, but you know, I'm not in line for the presidency or anything.

In summary: Mike Pence is somehow even crazier than other notable, absolutely out-of-their-mind Indiana natives like both Michael and La Toya Jackson and Axl Rose. Hands down zanier and more of a bigot than Red Skelton.

We don't have the best legacy in Indiana, but we do have Plan-It-X records, Bloomington and Indianapolis, the Hoosier National Forest and Clifty Falls State Park, Larry Bird and Brendan Frasier.

That Mike Pence will be added to Indiana's legacy, instead of written from history as the terrible, bumbling governor he is, is a regional tragedy, and sadly,on track to become a national one.

V.25 No.17 | 4/28/2016


The Daily Word in Republicans and Lemonade

The Daily Word

Mark your calendars for May 6th!

Of course it’s true if you read it on the internet.


Ted Cruz obviously knows he doesn’t have a real chance at winning presidency.

True life: MTV Cribs is going to be on Snapchat.

V.24 No.13 | 03/26/2015


The Daily Word in disciples, bike cops and a prostitute tester?

The Daily Word

President Barack Obama sat down with David Simon, creator of the hit HBO show “The Wire,” to talk about the drug trade.

The Disciples of Christ are considering moving their biennial convention out of Indiana after the governor signed a new state law allowing businesses to turn away gay customers.

A woman is being charged with fraud for allegedly milking benefits after false claims that she was injured in the Boston Marathon bombing.

Authorities believe Andreas Lubitz, a co-pilot for Germanwings Flight 9525 (which crashed en route to Dusseldorf and left 150 people dead), may have had an illness that he kept secret from his employers.

Yesterday, San Francisco's public defender called on an independent investigation of the sheriff's department after claims that four officers forced prisoners to engage in “gladiator-style fights.”

You might not see anymore ABQ cops on bicycles.

UNM's athletic department is trying to come up with $500,000 to $1 million to fund scholarships for student athletes.

A cash-snatching genius is on the loose in Rio Rancho.

An alleged sexual assault at a juvenile detention center has New Mexico's juvenile justice system in a tizzy.

A social media company in Germany wants to hire a “prostitute tester.”

V.24 No.13 | 3/26/2015
Odds and Ends

Odds & Ends

From England to Indiana, it’s funny because it happened to someone else.
V.23 No.49 | 12/4/2014
Odds and Ends
From China to Texas, it’s funny because it happened to someone else.
V.20 No.15 |


The Daily Word 4.15.11: Ides of April

The Daily Word

A man and his pig.

Bosque Farms cop investigated for stealing stuff from the department. Third in a year.

Pollen count.

Tornado kills two in Oklahoma.

Meat contaminated with nasty bacteria.

Indiana House committee passes immigration bill.

World's first 3-D porno movie.

Arizona approves 'Birther' bill.

Brooke Mueller tries to pawn watch and stereo.

Marilyn Manson wants to be in Charles Manson biopic with Lindsay Lohan.

V.19 No.48 |


The Daily Word: 12.7.10

The Daily Word

Julian Assange arrested in London.

City Councilor urges Sunport to can TSA agents.

It's the 69th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Taking aspirin cuts cancer death risk by one fifth.

Indiana business owner fires self to save employees' jobs.

Artesia man charged with manslaughter in Russian Roulette death. (They were playing with a semi-automatic pistol.)

Happy Birthday, Eli Wallach.

Wesley Snipes will appear on Larry King Live before going to jail.

Deer gets other deer caught in antlers, fights off coyotes.

Wife bites off husband's tongue during kiss.

Today's Events

Melanie Martinez
Courtesy of Melanie Martinez's Facebook

Basic Country Western Group Dance Class at CSP Dance Studios

Bill Johnson Solo Exhibit at Eye on the Mountain Gallery

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    Salsa Dance Party!!!
    Salsa Dance Party!!!11.5.2016