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V.23 No.50 |

news

The Daily Word in "credibly accused clergy," mushrooms are murder and hard times befall Dickens World

The Daily Word

Knockouts bouncers arrested over beating of patron.

Some cops in Roswell bought a dad baby formula rather than arrest him for shoplifting.

Gallup Catholic diocese has released a "credibly accused" list of clergy.

These Jimmy Kimmell-John Krasinski Christmas pranks are pretty funny.

"I'd like a cup of coffee and your most feral adoptable cat please."

Theme park "Dicken's World" has, ironically, fallen on hard times. Something Billy Childish can tell us about.

2014 words of the year.

In true Jesus fashion, a naked man burned down a church.

More Americans believe in immaculate conception than believe in climate change.

Hollywood producer Aaron Sorkin is pissed at the media reporting on the Sony hack.

Taliban gunmen massacred 141 at a school in Pakistan.

My favorite cocktail party factoid, that mushrooms are more animal than plant, just got bolstered.

V.22 No.10 | 3/7/2013
Off With His Hair!
Off With His Hair!

Culture

Undocumented and Refurbished

One of the great things about living in Albuquerque is that I have this newfound sense of adventure. Mind you, I usually have more of a self-conscious apprehension of doing anything out of the ordinary. It's borderline obsessive to think about how much I hate to stray from the formula (whatever the formula may be). A mundane example would be how much it bothers me when something interrupts my morning routine i.e. Having to stop for gas on the way to work because I didn't do it the night before. The thought before the action drives me crazy.

Having said that … being in Albuquerque has awakened something. Not sure what it is, but I find myself saying “yes” to more things, and not in a contrived, Jim Carrey movie-inspired way. It's more that I've learned to let go and just say “to hell with it.” Maybe the Burque mentality is rubbing off. Not sure. But in terms of new experiences, here are a few snippets:

I ate at Tucano's Brazilian Grill (which was outrageously delicious). I wish I had more details beyond that, but considering I had a death cold and was forced to sit upright and place pieces of delicious food in my mouth, the meal itself was a magnificent feat.

I went to Knockouts. This undocumented foray into a strip club was my first. Sure, I had offers way back when, but to a warm-blooded, homosexual man, seeing women do the tootsie to Kelis wasn't exactly on my list of things to do before I meet my maker. But, a “straight” friend said I was his boyfriend to get me in the club for free. Needless to say, I had drinks with neon ice cubes (weird!), gave some $1 bills to a woman in a fishnet tutu (do those really exist?) and laughed harder than I can ever recall.

And lastly, I shaved my head and took my first bathroom picture to prove it. This may not seem like such a big deal, but I haven't had a shaved head since I was in seventh grade, and I think it mostly had to do with people constantly telling me I had beautiful hair and should let it grow. So I did. Maybe it was the mountain air, the high altitudes, or just something I ate, but out came the clippers and off went the hair. I can't say I like it, but it is an interesting change. As for documenting it, I rarely stand in bathrooms long enough to pull out my phone and take a snapshot, but I think it was warranted.

Until next week, Burque.

V.20 No.25 | 6/23/2011
Looks little...
Looks little...

Animals

Red Dragon Invades Downtown

Monster possibly about to make a trip to Knockouts

I love this weird city. A crowd of shrieking and pointing passersby attracted me to the front entrance of Knockouts on my way back from lunch this afternoon. It was not a dancer doing something outrageous. It was the biggest four-legged reptile I’ve ever encountered outside of a zoo. It was rough and reddish, with a long white band on its tail and enormous jowls. Unlike the speedy Godzilla, or a Komodo dragon, it was crawling along like cold honey. And it was moving steadily towards the Knockouts door. His owner stood calmly minding him, answering questions from rubberneckers like me.

But it’s big!
But it’s big!

Me: “Holy shit!”

Owner: “ ... “

Me: “What is that?”

Owner: “Red tegu.”

Is that a goiter?
Is that a goiter?

Me: “Where’s it from?”

Owner: “Argentina.”

Me: “Oh my god, what does it eat?”

Just takin my lizard to the strip club.
Just takin my lizard to the strip club.

Owner: “Meat. He’s a carnivore.”

Me: “Holy shit!”

The nice man explained, however, that he has this particular red tegu on a diet of wet dog food. Still, I wouldn’t try to pet it, as they are known for eating anything that can fit between their jaws.

V.20 No.9 | 3/3/2011

news

The Daily Word: Moscow Dog Deportation, Knockouts Stabbing, Christina Aguilera Arrested

The Daily Word

The U.S. military deploys naval and air force units around still-unstable Libya.

Rutgers dorms are changing to co-ed after a gay student’s suicide.

Consumer Reports has a lot of criticism for the electric plug-in Chevy Volt.

Faux-talent Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend are arrested for public intoxication in West Hollywood.

A new kind of illegal immigrant: Moscow plans to deport thousands of dogs.

Former “Full House” heartthrob John Stamos could be replacing the much-maligned Charlie Sheen in “Two and a Half Men.”

Oklahoma passes a bill that gives police the right to question immigration status of stopped motorists.

Sorry ,everyone; breast milk ice cream has been taken off the shelves because of hepatitis fears.

Girl Scouts founder doesn’t want to be sold Girl Scout cookies at her home.

Watch your speed! Rio Rancho turns its newly-installed red light cameras on.

There was a multiple stabbing last night at Knockouts Gentlemen’s Club Downtown.


Tomorrow's Events

Bob Tate • solo piano at Vernon’s Hidden Valley Steakhouse

Martina K.

2nd Annual Kitchen Show at TOME ART GALLERY

Yoga Class: All Levels at Oriental Medical Arts

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