Happy Blue Monday.

It’s cold.

National security is now the FBI’s primary mission.

You can’t smoke pot in the Denver airport.

Pregnant moms who drink wine may produce calmer kids.

France thinks comic Dieudonne is less funny than Jerry Lewis.

Utah’s judiciary puts a hold on gay marriage.

Bighorn sheep make a comeback.

Penis captivus is real.

Once there was a terrible online dating profile.

One more sandwich and I will stab you.

Poodles for sale.

Perfect pitch in a pill?

Somebody killed bigfoot again.

The jerky factory caught fire.

There might be more cops downtown.

The Devil Mask Robbers strike again.

New Mexico ranks poorly in economic freedom.

What’s going on today?

Happy birthday Rowan Atkinson.

Thanks to Alyx Brannock, Mark Lopez and Geoffrey Anjou for the links!

A stranded research vessel in Antarctica makes people question whether it's safe for tourists to venture to the icy continent.

A report says that Jang Song Thaek of North Korea (and five of his associates) were fed to starving dogs.

The Justice Department disagrees with Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor's contraception opposition for religious-based organizations in regards to the Affordable Care Act.

Remember Clay Aiken? Me neither. But apparently he wants to run for Congress.

A man was struck and killed by a vehicle this morning while trying to cross Montgomery Boulevard.

Move over Colorado. New Mexico may be next.

APD says that 9-year-old Omaree Varela (who was killed by his mother) had reported being abused to school officials a year before his death.

While same-sex marriage is now legal in New Mexico, it's still considered unlawful in Navajo Nation.

Naughty America wants your unused gift cards!

The late-term abortion ban proposal will not be on the ballot during Albuquerque's next election. This article explains how unpopular "voter initiated" measures are often passed anyway by a highly organized minority.

Local physicians, midwives, mothers and members of the Jewish community are holding a "rally to denounce terror" on Civic Plaza today at noon, protesting the tactics of anti-abortion group Operation Rescue.

How one anti-abortion group is trying to intimidate physicians and clinics who provide women's reproductive health services.

Al Jazeera America is coming.

Radioactive water is leaking out of Fukishima again.

Former ruler of Pakistan Pervez Musharraf has been charged with murdering Pakistan's former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.

Russian police busted an unlawful gathering of Pastafarians last Sunday.

Elmore Leonard died.

Ratt and Dokken nearly went the way of Skynyrd this past weekend.

Those bags of Doritos that Seattle cops handed out at Hempfest are cropping up on eBay.

Missing Brown student's body has been found.

Two fuel barges light up the Mobile River in Alabama.

So, TMZ apparently got the first wind on Justin Bieber's alleged pot bust, but this is still a developing story, people.

Grants High School students aim to get teacher to resign after they say he ignored a student who suffered a miscarriage in the hallway.

Gay marriage resolution passed!

Apparently Steve Kush did not know people could read his Twitter and Facebook comments.

Impostor Seattle nurse stole meds from patients' IVs. ... What is the world coming to?

BP's looking at a $4.5 billion fine and criminal charges against staff members.

The gap between rich and poor in New Mexico is the widest in the nation.

Pit bull terriers killed a Chihuahua and sent her owner to the hospital.

Debbie O'Malley might remain on the Council and take a seat on the County Commission.

Remember when 48 women training for the military said they'd been sexually assaulted or harassed by their instructors? The Air Force has a weird solution: Trainees must have a wingman all the time.

Nonstop flights from Albuquerque to New York.

FBI investigates death threats against the guy holding the coyote-killing contest in Los Lunas.

The poorest president in the world. "If you don't have many possessions, then you don't need to work all your life like a slave to sustain them."

Violence escalates in Gaza and Israel. Rockets kill 15 Palestinians and three Israelis.

Louisiana governor is the first Republican to denounce Mitt Romney's notion that he lost the election because President Obama gave gifts to minorities and youth.

5-Hour Energy shot-like drink blamed for 13 deaths.

Colorado Visitors Bureau plans NOT to capitalize on legal recreational marijuana.

Science looks at rappers' brains to find the basis of improvisation.

Pong is 40-years-old and no one has topped it, says this guy.

How to become as observant as Sherlock Holmes. (Also, "Sherlock," the BBC miniseries available on Netflix instawatch, is dope.)

Voice of Elmo exits Sesame Street amid sex scandal accusations.

Albuquerque woman accused of driving twice the speed limit and drinking beer while driving with two children in the car.

United States predicted to achieve energy independence by 2017.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are splitsville.

Scientists at Duke say they’ve finally succeeded in building a perfect invisibility cloak.

Double shooting in southeast Albuquerque leaves one dead and another hospitalized.

Study suggests that flu and fever during pregnancy are linked to autism risk in children.

MmmMmm Fiber in your Pepsi.

MmmMmmMmm: Salmonella in your Nesquik.

Oh, the joys of Movember.

What are the chances of Marijuana legalization in New Mexico?

Who knew drops of milk hitting coffee could be so darn beautiful?

Lobo men’s soccer team misses out on tournament championship title.

Lobo football loses to Wyoming.

Wee kittens watch a game of tennis.

Twin baby boys bouncing and giggling and giggling and bouncing.

State election results, unofficially.

Nate Silver FTW.

Are super-PACs in fact just big, fat money pits?

A 7.5-magnitude earthquake jolted our neighbors to the south.

Big gains for gay marriage equality yesterday...

... but it was a " dark day" for FetishMovies.com and friends.

New Hampshire elected an all-female delegation to Congress.

Indian country victories.

Status quo.

This is your brain. This is your brain on weed.

One of many third party bummers.

GMO labels fail in California.

"Below the pagoda a spontaneous, medieval army was massing."

Newspapers are still useful.

The worst.

Lookout!

Mass MoCA is too far away.

"We have a lot to celebrate tonight," says Judge Jim Gray, Gary Johnson's presidential running mate.

Ending the drug war was part of the Libertarian platform this year. And Colorado has voted in favor of the sale of marijuana for recreational use.

A funeral home sent a family their loved one’s brain in a bag. Court says they can’t sue.

Maximum sentence for a driver who killed a cyclist in January: 90 days in jail, $300 fine.

Syrian army agrees to a ceasefire from Friday to Monday.

Hurricane Sandy is heading our way.

WikiLeaks is releasing the U.S. policies on detaining people in camps and GitMo. The website hacked them from the DOD.

Chinese artist Ai Weiwei goes Gangnam style.

Why it’s so hard to fire a police officer.

Bullied teen throws herself in front of a train.

7-year-old girl writes an opera.

Legalizing marijuana is on the ballot in Washington, Colorado and Oregon.

Rape is rape, says the president.

Don’t worry about convicted sex offenders this Halloween. They’ve got a curfew.

Hobbit spoilers.

Last-minute DIY Halloween costumes.

Nirvana, the Broadway musical.

Anything is possible in the year of the Poodle Moth.

Bill Nye prefers science.

Prince Harry’s clothes are removable.

A hilarious bigfoot joke took a tragic turn. As oft they do.

A man killed 70,000 chickens. But it could have been an accident.

It’s never funny to joke about killing Mitt Romney.

Marijuana can permanently lower your IQ. It can also make the word “permanently” echo permanently in your mind. “Permanently… permanently…”

In other stoner news, this kid thought his mom was making him wear a sign as punishment. She said she was thinking about it.

Not all celebrities look like they have good breath, Russell Brand.

Tom Hanks’ PR people try desparately to make him appear human.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

A shot was fired at Expo New Mexico. Some people get nervous when the words “fired” and “Expo New Mexico” are used in the same sentence.

Jeremy Brooks and Justin Rael didn’t think they’d end up in the news. But they did.

Happy birthday, Gates McFadden.

APD made an arrest in connection with Tuesday’s double homicide of Kirsten Landeau of the Duke City Darlins and her nephew. (The Darlins are holding a vigil tomorrow.)

Johnny Tapia died of heart disease, according to his autopsy report.

A woman says she was fired from her state job after testing positive for marijuana, even though she had a medical card.

Does legalizing marijuana boost economies?

Olympic bronze medalist welcomed home to the 505.

America throws out 40 percent of its food.

Rupert Murdoch’s daughter isn’t a fan of his media empire.

Understanding Homer’s D’oh!

Zero percent of the country’s African-Americans support Mitt Romney.

Gonzo guide to the RNC.

Action movies aren’t always the worst.

Henry Rollins in column form.

Happy Birthday, Keith Moon.

Playing Cypress Hill through a squid.

An inmate work crew in Las Cruces saved a man’s life.

Someone won $1 million in New Mexico but might not know it yet.

A judge told Gov. Martinez she couldn’t publish the salaries of some state workers on the Sunshine Portal. So she put them on the New Mexico home page.

Megadeth singer blames President Obama for mass shootings. And if you can’t trust Dave Mustaine about politics ...

Brits are pissed that Ecuador granted Julian Assange asylum.

Can’t hang with the footage of mosquitos biting people in this story about West Nile being on the rise. Stupid nature’s vampires.

Gov. Jan Brewer signed an executive order to deny Arizonans benefits from the new federal Dream Act-esque immigration program.

This month in free speech.

The stoner Olympics.

Anti-Semitic jerk in Hungary finds out he’s Jewish.

These gorillas are all happy to see each other.

Where does all that aid money go? Haiti’s still without safe housing for most people.

How to shop for groceries when you hate shopping for groceries. (Step One: Realize that your problem is not really a problem. After all, you could be living in a tent in an earthquake-ravaged country.)

Coffee shop bans people from talking about annoying hipster stuff like denim, left-handedness and anything that happened before 2000.

Best gravel voices in movie/TV history.

Undercover APD officer goes to "Chinese massage" parlour, asks for massage and then arrests woman when she agrees to give a massage.

Susana Martinez and some legislators use their personal email for state business and some say that excludes those emails from public records requests.

NM Governor Martinez doesn't like Obama's executive order allowing children of illegals to gain legal status. Washington Post says newly made citizens will take our jobs.

Is Obama going to go after the weed vote?

The British recovered a lost WWI submarine with an interesting history.

In this bath salts freakout the guy was scared he was going to be eaten.

The "Kindness in America" author actually shot himself.

"Forest Boy" was lying.

New Jersey wine competes with French wine.

Lacey Wildd wants to get a thirteenth breast enlargement even though her tits could explodde.

Swedish authorities failed to prove that explicit Manga qualifies as child pornography.

Meet AJ Weberman, Bob Dylan's single most obsessed fan.

Website posts The Oatmeal's cartoons without permission, then threatens to sue when the cartoonist pointed this out.

Check out this bizarre David Hasselhoff commercial.

Ten terrible tattoos of hard rock hideousness.

Babies in cellophane!

It's finally over.

Reverend Stang retired from leading the Church of the Subgenius because he is tired of the asshole membership.

Happy Captain Picard Day!

Shuttle Enterprise coasts into retirement in NYC atop a 747.

Death penalty trial for Michael Astorga begins.

In less than a year it may be illegal for tourists to buy pot in Amsterdam.

Breaking down Round 1 of the NFL draft.

Albuquerque police arrest firefighter in connection with burglary ring.

NBA Playoff matchups set, first round starts Saturday.

Attack of the lobster-sized cannibal shrimp.

Putin, Vlad Putin.

Ever seen a flying bear on tranquilizers?

Blind Chinese activist may be under U.S. protection after escaping house arrest.

Bieber ignorantly disses Indonesia. Maybe this stupid video of him fakely getting beat up will make you happier. Probably not, though.

Naked Romanian cyclist ticketed for not wearing a helmet.

Man arrested for DUI says he fled the scene because he “had the runs.”

This woman is really hot—if you’re made out of Legos.

New mayor of Sunland Park is 24-years-old.

Kirtland is going to look a little harder for leaked jet fuel.

Dick Clark made stars. R.I.P.

Paramedics in N.M. work 72-hour shifts.

DOH to medical board: You can't ask the feds to reclassify marijuana.

Romney says something weird about cookies.

Killer swan.

Sex robots are our future.

Vatican cracks down on feminist nuns.

"Hopefully" may spell the end of grammar.

DoubleOh.

Passengers say an American cruise ship ignored a drifting fishing boat, leaving two men to die.