misery


V.24 No.14 | 04/02/2015

news

The Daily Word in DANCE PARTY

The Daily Word

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty bummed out after watching that video of the cop shooting the dude in the back.

That’s why I’m taking extraordinary action and declaring that today’s Daily Word will be a special

DANCE

PARTY

EDITION!!!

Dance, doggy!

Dance, twins!

Dance, horse!

Dance, bird!

Dance tweens!

and finally,

DANCE, DUANE, DANCE!

Special secret magic! Play all these videos at once while posting them on your friends' facebook walls, and exactly %.5 of the world's misery will melt away!

V.20 No.11 |

Eavesdropped

Overheard at the ER

Five Hours In The Presbyterian Emergency Room

Fourtysomething barefoot man, in handcuffs, led out by police:
What am I being charged with?
Police officer:
That's something we need to talk about.


Man, early 20s, wearing a hospital bracelet, consoling a visibly upset woman, early 20s:
You don't have to worry, he's never going to fuck you up again.


Old woman, wearing sweat pants and hospital gown, talking to triage nurse:
I'm tired of being treated like a child!
Same woman, 5 minutes later:
Stop lying to me!
Triage nurse, to receptionist after old woman storms out:
I'm so happy right now.


Man, after taking a bite of his Subway sandwich:
They put mustard on it.


Receptionist, to older biker guy:
Sir! Sir! You cannot smoke in here.


Later, same older biker guy to older biker girl:
I told you it's over between me and her. Over!


Younger woman on phone holding sleeping toddler:
These doctors don't know anything.


Old man with bandage on head to wife (CNN on in the background):
So someone dropped a nuke in Japan?


Old drunkish looking dude, being escorted out by security:
Come on man, I just want to lay down here for 10 minutes.


Teenager with ice pack on his hand, talking on waiting room phone:
Just put my mom on the phone, fucker!