1) If you stare at me for 10 seconds a message pops up on the lower left: “Next - an all new episode of Monk.”
2) I can understand animal language. This morning I heard a bird say he was so hungry he could eat a green peach.
3) I went to the dentist and asked him if he could make my teeth “go around.” Neither one of us knew what that meant.
4) I took a bunch of drugs and went to a rave that was just three hours of flashing red and blue lights with siren noises.
5) I stand by the off-ramp with a cardboard sign reading, “Drink my blood-urine $5.”