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V.23 No.24 | 6/12/2014

dreams

Rowdy’s Dream Blog #349: The Origin of the Butternut Root

I joke with my brother about the origin of the butternut root, telling him that their special flavor comes from the way they are harvested: by monkeys who store the roots in their butts as they pick them.

V.22 No.25 |

news

The Daily Word in affirmative action, transgender rights and possible fraud

The Daily Word

First the Food Network and now Smithfield! You're making some enemies, Paula!

Affirmative action takes the backseat ...

Berlusconi gets seven years, but will it stick? No pun intended.

Colorado court rules in favor of a transgendered girl who was denied access to the girls' bathroom.

Phillip Garcia found guilty of kidnapping.

Have some mental health providers been mishandling funds? Tsk Tsk Tsk ...

When did they start letting people in Aransas Pass have monkeys? Should I move back to Texas?

V.22 No.18 | 5/2/2013

video games

Webgame Wednesday: Aqua Boy

If I had a dollar for every time a traitorous monkey crashed my submarine and absconded with my magical crown from an ancient civilization, I'd be rich. That tired old scenario rears its head once again in Aqua Boy. You play the titular kid, swimming your way through a "Metroidvania"-style maze filled with danger and reward. Gather up weapons and equipment, fight off undersea threats, and go kick that monkey's ass.

V.22 No.14 | 4/4/2013

video games

Webgame Wednesday: Super Stock Take

You are a monkey and you work for a horrible boss and you get paid peanuts: Now as true in video games as in real life. In the puzzle platformer Super Stock Take you are a simian stockboy working in the warehouse answering to the whims of a blowhard boss. Jump here, grab that, retrieve this. The key here is your ability to pick up and move large boxes, which you'll need to do a lot of to reach your goals. Move quick, though, you make more peanuts the faster you solve the puzzles. Yeah, peanuts!

V.22 No.4 |

news

The Daily Word in monkeys, big cigars, rent and bacon

Death of a Player

The Daily Word

A guy was found dead in a motel room at the Value Inn.

Virgin Galactic will start paying rent for Spaceport America.

State bill that would increase background checks for gun buyers is likely dead.

They've launched worms and turtles, and now Iran has sent a monkey into space.

The Powerpuff Girls will return to battle their monkey nemesis.

Great story behind this super-rare coin.

That's a big cigar.

Facebook probably owes you ten bucks.

The Globe and Mail teaches you how to make bacon.

Dude, what happened?

Here's a rotten Twinkie for sale.

RIP Sugarfoot. The lead singer of the Ohio Players died.

V.21 No.38 | 9/20/2012

news

The Daily Word in Fred Willard, gold bars and stolen yorkies.

The Daily Word

130 Mexican prisoners are on the loose.

Face slasher takes the Metro.

It’s a great time to run a newspaper. Not really.

A balding man with a ponytail is accused of beating a woman with a dog.

“They’ll never find my gold bars.”

Oh, the funny pictures.

Taylor Swift broke up with me swiftly.

Try these Photoshop brain teasers.

You are feeling very sleepy.

I have too many coffee mugs. Stop thinking up them.

What's the quickest way to the Quickie Mart?

Here’s the story of the burnt bigfoot.

There's a new monkey that looks like somebody you know.

Now you can monitor clean-up efforts in Los Alamos.

Stolen yorkies!

Some hunters had an herb farm adventure.

Black widow.

Happy birthday Fred Willard.

V.20 No.26 | 6/30/2011

news

The Daily Word on forest fires, facebook fun and other freaky favorites.

Happy 4th of July!

The Daily Word

Monsoon season arrives late for the party.

The Las Conchas fire was caused by an aspen tree that lost consciousness.

Instead of fireworks, I’m going to create a deadly lightning strike.

The average face is a good deal more attractive than mine.

Here’s a good use of Facebook.

Compared to a coffee bean, how big is an ameoba, really?

Monkey ride pig.

Create your own unfunny Garfield comic.

Online acting lessons really work.

Happy birthday, John Waite. Imma get him a cell phone.

V.20 No.8 |

photo

Alibi Flickr Photo of the Day

Monkeys Are My Favorite!

Posted to Alibi's Flickr photo pool by our friend
kellywrks.

ZOO

This was a great day at the ZOO. I GOT SOME GREAT PICS

V.19 No.38 | 9/23/2010

Found

Found on Santa Fe Craigslist: Free monkey

Alert! The vendor purporting to offer a monkey to a good home in the “free stuff” section is a SCAM ARTIST. Do not get caught up in his web of deception like this poor Craigslister did. File this one under Monkey Business. (The wrong kind, where you don’t actually get a monkey out of the deal.)

This freak says he's giving away a free monkey. I was interested and he asked me for a picture of myself saying its procedure which seemed false and he was just being a weirdo and I asked if he really had a monkey he said no. I asked then y did u have me send u a pic he said he did no such thing. So this is a scam!!! So Be aware!!! this psycho has my number now but I'm not worried!! Just know its not real!!!

V.19 No.37 |
The Daily Word

News

The Daily Word 09.17.2009: Wheelchair-bound tireslasher, proto-AIDS monkey, garden gnome, attack ad

Bed bug attacks on the rise.


Goat named Maria shot by unknown assailants.

UNM denies football coach got into 'altercation' with Lobo reporter.

Swift Boat ad targeting Martin Heinrich to appear on N.M. television.

Bill Clinton to visit Española.

Scientists find evidence of ancient proto-AIDS by studying stranded island monkeys.

Police: Lady burned own face with acid, blamed it on black person.

Fox News sues Missouri Democrat over attack ad.

Garden gnomes found on Montana trail.

Wheelchair bound tire slasher leaves apology notes on victims' cars.

V.19 No.14 | 4/8/2010

dreams

Rowdy’s Dream Blog #145: I am at a crowded, noisy party.

I am at a crowded, noisy party. I press through the people to get to the bathroom and enter a small door in the corner of the sunken den with my companion. The door closes behind us. It is now locked and there is no knob and no apparent way to get back out. The wall board in the tiny, unfurnished room shows signs of water damage. We find another small door at the rear of the room. Through it, I find I am now barefoot in a large locker- room. There are peeing troughs in the cement floor, so I do. We step out into a classroom. Somehow I know that we have time-traveled and must discreetly discover what year it is. I make up a little rhyme with "1992" and encourage another classmate to try one. He looks at me blankly and writes the year on a piece of paper, handing it to me. At first glance it looks like "7132", but looking closer I see it is "1974". I lament out loud that I must now take all those classes over again. I also begin to wonder if I have ever existed. I walk outside and find some women sitting around a campfire by a clothesline. D, and old girlfriend, is among them and they all admire her clear skin. I feel remorse. I find my truck and drive west through the town. I park at the curb in front of a leaf-strewn house. As I get out, I dislodge some metal tabs from the door and I try, clumsily, several times to fix them. It now appears that instead I am parked in the breezeway of a house. The mustached, Hispanic owner and his young daughter peer out at me through the front window. He's mad. I ask him what time it is. It is 6 am. I am able to make peace with him and we swap some trinkets. He gives me a small plastic monkey. Knowing how he loves key chains, I give him a little skeleton key chain. I manage to find G again and I tell her, "Lets not separate again - it's too incredibly lonely." We locate our room and crawl into bed. We have a golden bedspread. The wardrobe at the foot of the bed starts to come apart. People come out of the wall and ceiling behind it: a red-haired, bearded guy and our friends, R and J. They carry newborn triplets. Now I know this is an alternate dimension. One of the kids is already waist high and talking to me: "How're you doing?"

V.19 No.5 | 2/4/2010

Baby Howler Monkey at the Zoo

Today is Cute Baby Animal Monday. (Don’t miss Disfigured Old Things With Open Sores Tuesday.)

Fifi, a 14-year-old howler monkey with an unfortunate name, had a baby on Jan. 16 at the Rio Grande Zoo. Zoologists still haven’t determined the sex. You can see monkey mom and monkey child between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. near the pheasant exhibit when the weather’s good. And you thought nothing could be more heart-warming than the baby elephant.

From the news release:

Native to Central America, howler monkeys get their name from the loud calls they make each morning to announce their location to other groups. Newborn howlers will stay with their mother for about a year and either remain in the group or leave to find a new one once they reach maturity. Howlers are golden in color when they’re born. Adult males have black fur; adult females keep the golden color.


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