Everybody knows that kids have the weirdest, most wonderful broken brains on the planet. And if you've ever looked at drawing made by the under-8 set, you've probably wondered what it be like if the lumpy, tentacled beast depicted actually roamed the earth.
The Monster Project has tasked a group of artists with bringing these child-drawn monstrosities ever so slightly closer to our world by rendering them in a realistic fashion, and the results are wonderful. Check them out, and also note that they have a kickstarter, so if you're moved by their work, you can support it directly.
There's a white-faced monster on the loose. It has no eyes or nose, just a mouth, and it eats people and apes. It is played by Robin Williams. I see him out of costume and start to throw some stones at him. I finally hit him in the back of the head, drawing blood and putting him on the ground.
I am recounting my recent dreams to someone. I describe one in which I am a scrod fisherman. My crew and I drive in a fast boat on a moonless night. We have a kind of net/sock suspended below the hull. Our spotlight attracts the scrod and they are trapped in the net. They are carnivorous with sharp teeth and they devour each other in the net, transforming our catch into a bloody mass. I sell the bag of bloody flesh to an old woman with a shopping cart for $500. As I recount the dream, I see talking seals and dinosaurs gathered around a shallow lagoon. As we approach, some of the dinosaurs scatter. My character attacks a huge dino-hippo, stabbing with a small knife into its enormous belly. Annoyed, the monster takes the knife away and slices the guy down the front of his left leg from crotch to ankle, returning to finish the knee. In the next scene he is recovering in a beautiful country girl's bed.
Amid recent speculation that Nessie was finally dead, monster lovers can breathe a sigh of relief. Landscape designer Richard Preston has produced the latest conclusive evidence of a living prehistoric monster in Scotland. Whew.