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V.24 No.42 | 10/15/2015

news

The News You Missed

Important information from the e-mail archive

By Ty Bannerman [ Fri Oct 16 2015 10:11 AM ]

Sad to say, we here at the Alibi aren’t omniscient. In fact, we can barely even keep up with the press releases that appear in our email inboxes, let alone the doings of all sources of knowledge and information in the universe.

Recently, we decided to stop trying to be omniscient. And then, right after that, we decided to stop trying to keep up with our email in-boxes.

BUT there are still some press releases that get sent to us which for whatever reason we can't fit into the print edition of the paper, but still might be interesting to our readers.

So, here it is, the inaugural roundup of The News You Missed, where the Alibi rescues important press release headlines from the dustbin history.

'Fave Vegan Powders' Award Winner 2015

This headline pretty much sums up why I am not a vegan. But if you're a vegan who loves powder, this is relevant to your interests!

Lead Safety Week is coming; Are you ready?

Are you Alibi readers aware of how to behave safely around lead?

Rule #1: Don't eat lead.

Rule #2: Don’t feed it to your baby.

Rule #3: Just leave lead alone. Because you may be tempted to eat it or feed it to your baby.

In conclusion, fuck lead.

Tailgating Story: Throw a Pizza on the Grill

Unfortunately, I can't find a website with this important press release on it, but rest assured that throwing a pizza on a grill is a thing you can do, and a publicist out there thinks it would make a great story.

And finally,

Guinness World Record Event Turned "Big Apple" into "Big Tomato”

Sorry, New York, but this happened and there’s nothing anybody can do about it now.

There it is, the News You Missed, gathered up into one convenient blog package so that you, our beloved readers, may now go about the rest of your life as a slightly more informed member of the public. You're welcome.

Check back next Friday for more News You Missed!

V.24 No.41 | 10/08/2015

The Daily Word on Aliens, Entertainment, and Politics

By Cerridwen Stucky [ Thu Oct 8 2015 3:12 PM ]
The Daily Word

Your favorite cartoon about a metal band needs your help to end.

Indigenous Peoples Day became an official thing in Albuquerque.

The new season of American Horror Story is making headlines, be they good or bad.

A local woman claims to know of a bomb at Winrock last night.

Slime in apple juice makes some people exited about aliens.

Country-turned-pop singer Taylor Swift is facing very little piracy. Why aren't you stealing her stuff?

Gay people are allowed to do things in Indiana once more.

It costs more, but you'll pay it gladly. Netflix ups their price by one whole US dollar.

A Burque family is rescued by their wonderful dog.

V.24 No.40 | 10/1/2015

news

The Daily Word: Debunking Trump

By Robert Maestas [ Thu Sep 24 2015 11:57 AM ]
The Daily Word

Invisibility cloak.

Ain’t no fun (If my generals can’t have none)

Smashin records.

Motion by hand.

The constricting truth.

Satan Solutions, pushing your company DOWN.

The ills of media parenting.

Debunking Trump.

V.24 No.38 | 9/17/2015

news

The Daily Word: The Triumphant Survival of Ink & Paper

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Sep 16 2015 12:36 PM ]
The Daily Word

Damn, that’s a sexy treat.

Don’t get “high-jacked.

In money we trust (people to make art with it)

Space birds eye view.

The Next Generation of Currency.

Moonlighting as an illustrator.

The Triumphant Survival of Ink & Paper..

Papercuts.

The Phantom Pain.

“Striking” artwork.

news

The Daily Word in Copwatch & Sex Robots

By Robert Maestas [ Thu Sep 10 2015 1:30 PM ]
The Daily Word

A couple 8balls for my sweetie.

Cat burglar.

Don’t stop in Burque for Ice Cream.

Homo Naledi.

Drawing Autism.

Drawing Schizophrenia.

The Great Fireball of 2015.

Slumbering genius.

Copwatch.

Sex robots.

V.24 No.35 | 8/27/2015

news

The Daily Word: Welcome to Dismaland

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 26 2015 10:59 AM ]
The Daily Word

Hay! Slow Down!

Tamale, Tamale!

black holes 2: electric boogaloo.

The sad truth about today’s world.

Explosive inspiration.

Devil’s well.

Creative frustration.

Magic Transistor.

Raw talent.

Welcome to Disamland.

news

The Daily Word: Flamethrowers & Holograms

By Robert Maestas [ Thu Aug 20 2015 4:20 PM ]
The Daily Word

Never trust a city to do the people’s job

To save a skunk

STAND UP FOR FLAMETHROWER RIGHTS!

Siri saves lives

RGB Exhibitions

People in a crowd

The worlds weirdest book

Vomiting device

100,000 toothpicks

Science Non-Fiction

V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015

news

The Daily Word: How To Be An Expert (in anything)

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 19 2015 1:07 PM ]
The Daily Word

School to Prison Pipeline

He who controls the present, controls the past

The wrong side of history

Khoda

Strange Sculptures

How to be an EXPERT! (w/ Neil deGrasse Tyson)

Behind the Logo

Yes, I’d like to order some of that blue stuff, oh and throw in a purple thing

Art, Taking OVER your town squares

“hugging” Kiosk

Cyclone of Bullshit

V.24 No.34 | 8/20/2015

news

The Daily Word: Albuquerque is Just Plain Weird & The So-So Whatever Plan To Stop the Apocalypse.

By Robert Maestas [ Thu Aug 13 2015 11:58 AM ]
The Daily Word

Splatter-mals.

Explosions in Tianjin.

Carry on my Wayward Gwar. (r.i.p. dave brockie)

Art is nature.

Albuquerque is just plain weird.

Scoopin’ ATMS.

TWA Flight 260 Crash Site. (Shit I never knew existed here)

The War on Bud.

‘Burque Trivia.

Remakes: The Slow Killers.

The so-so whatever plan to avoid the apocalypse.

V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015

news

The Daily Word: Real Monsters

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 12 2015 11:23 AM ]
The Daily Word

Chapo’s final walk.

Monkey business.

Serial, killed.

One brush equation at a time...

Hang 10 to life?

Real monsters.

Where the colors live.

I get nervous when you watch.

To measure a star.

Clinton vs. Bush: A Fight to the Bleh.

V.24 No.32 | 8/6/2015
Boese Brothers Brewery

Food News

Bite-sized Buffet

All the news that’s fit to eat

By Ty Bannerman
Ty Bannerman has the scoop that’s going into your mouth.
V.24 No.28 | 7/9/2015

news

The Daily Word: The Science of Ghosts

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Aug 5 2015 12:42 PM ]
The Daily Word

Breaking Bell.

Kindersquatting.

South Africa’s own L. Ron Hubbard.

Infinite Jest.

!deas ( a.k.a, The exercise that makes Typography 101 less boring).

Holy Post-Its, Batman!

A new Solar System.

Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Hitchhiking robot.

The Science of Ghosts.

V.24 No.30 | 07/23/2015

The Daily Word: Herding Cattle

By Robert Maestas [ Wed Jul 29 2015 3:02 PM ]
The Daily Word

look ma! we're on TV! again.

xenomorph takes russia.

insert obligatory breaking bad albuquerque news here.

to be, or not to be on the lam.

so close.

star wood.

freedom of expression.

The Man Who Tried to Redeem the World with Logic.

herding cattle.

serial hero.

V.24 No.26 | 06/25/2015

news

The Daily Word In OMG THE SUPREME COURT LEGALIZED SAME SEX-MARRIAGE IN ALL 50 STATES!

By Amelia Olson [ Fri Jun 26 2015 10:09 AM ]
The Daily Word

There's no other news today other than

SAME SEX MARRIAGE WAS LEGALIZED IN ALL 50 STATES ! ! !

Major high five, Supreme Court!

Let's celebrate and take in this incredibly important moment in our history!

V.24 No.24 | 06/11/2015
Spokane NAACP website

opinion

Playing Dress Up

Making sense of the Rachel Dolezal controversy

By Amelia Olson [ Fri Jun 12 2015 1:05 PM ]
Is Rachel Dolezal and opportunistic white woman who used her privilege to advance her career and social life? Or is she a mentally ill woman who should be spared public shaming?
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