V.23 No.49 |
The Daily Word In Snobby Egyptian Cats, Laughing Gas And Jesus Handing Out Pot
By Amelia Olson [ Wed Dec 10 2014 11:23 AM ]
If you wanna be the new CEO of Abercrombie (apparently they’re still a store) you can be! Because that one guy quit. Or resigned. Or whatever the “cool kids” do.
A local high school creative writing teacher resigned after controversy surrounding a student's story about Jesus handing out pot. (Why wasn’t she our high school creative writing teacher?!)
And who hasn’t demanded a plane be taxied back to its terminal when flight snacks are served inadequately?
This woman dressed as the Abominable Snowman, and her poodle, Lizard, understand the true meaning of Christmas/life.
Any time we’ve asked for a bite of someone’s brownie, it was NEVER laced with pot. Thanks for nothing!
In other more duh-ish news, a scientist thinks laughing gas is a great way to treat depression! Tell my uptight dentist that. He’s stingy with that shit.
And if you have a genius cat, it’s possible she was once an “Egyptian princess” who was “used to being treated like a deity”
V.23 No.2 | 1/9/2014
The Daily Word in poodles, perfect pitch and penis captivus
By Carl Petersen [ Mon Jan 6 2014 10:56 AM ]
Happy Blue Monday.
National security is now the FBI’s primary mission.
You can’t smoke pot in the Denver airport.
Pregnant moms who drink wine may produce calmer kids.
France thinks comic Dieudonne is less funny than Jerry Lewis.
Utah’s judiciary puts a hold on gay marriage.
Bighorn sheep make a comeback.
Penis captivus is real.
Once there was a terrible online dating profile.
One more sandwich and I will stab you.
Perfect pitch in a pill?
Somebody killed bigfoot again.
The jerky factory caught fire.
There might be more cops downtown.
The Devil Mask Robbers strike again.
New Mexico ranks poorly in economic freedom.
What’s going on today?
Happy birthday Rowan Atkinson.
Thanks to Alyx Brannock, Mark Lopez and Geoffrey Anjou for the links!
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