Hurricane Sandy is deadly.

Watch Sandy blow down trees. “Oh, my gosh.”

A brief overview of cars Obama has owned.

Smart people drink more.

There actually are things you don’t know about Prince.

Tyrannosaurus vs. Tryceratops.

The pastor was killed with a guitar.

The toughest bridge in the world. (Thanks, Tom!)

Gary Glitter is in trouble again.

A cop’s ghoulish scheme.

Natalie Dylan is selling her virginity.

Tom Hanks: slam poet.

Axyl Rose talked on TV.

A park stabbing at 3rd and I-40.

A man stole some Toys for Tots money.

Hazmat in Doña Ana County.

Happy Birthday, Henry Winkler.

Thanks for the help, Tom Nayder and Constance Moss!

http://thatgrapejuice.net/category/prince/

This dream story begins with textures scrolling back into the 'screen' like credits. The sound hole of a guitar appears with the face of a singing man inside it. The soundtrack is a Prince song. As the scene opens we have already been captured by the Feds. We will soon be hauled off to prison. But we have an escape plan. Even now, Prince is racing to rescue us in his pearl limo. We are to hide under papers in one of five dumpsters until he arrives. I see the Feds are cleaning our bathroom, something we never did. They also announce their plans to empty all the dumpsters. I try to dissuade them but this only arouses their suspicions. We see Prince rocketing up the canyon freeway. A large hay truck jackknifes and overturns. Prince is trapped in the resulting jam.

Now may be the time to take care of your outstanding warrants.

Your ironic mullet is officially illegal.

Japan may have captured asteroid particles and successfully returned them to Earth.

Crazy widow lives with corpses of her husband and twin sister.

So the Palins aren't hillbillies?

Woman arrested in Tennessee for driving drunk on vanilla extract.

Police and firefighters attacked with fireworks in St. Louis.

Priest in Connecticut is arrested for stealing $1.3 million and spending it on male escorts, designer clothes and fancy meals.

Slate wonders why it's so hard to fire a teacher.

Tips for losers on how to handle an online break-up.

Newspapers add card readers to vending machines in vain attempt to stave-off death.

Has a long lost Michelangelo sculpture been found?

Why doesn't anyone want to go to Lilith Fair?

Enjoy this crazy Mel Gibson flow chart.

This infomercial for the Cold Steal Two-Handed Great Sword is pretty sweet.

It's hot and crowded in China.

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail where she probably won't get fancy manicures.

Bruce Willis debuts "the manliest scent in the world."

The early reviews of Inception are in and I'm still excited.

Everyone is freaking-out about where LeBron James is going to play next season.

Is your cat a racist?

Prince goes back in time, declares the Internet "completely over."

• husband and sister corpses on the couches (pleiades) [ Wed Jul 7 2010 12:36 PM ]
  
• Tom (Nick Brown) [ Wed Jul 7 2010 2:08 PM ]
  

Tar balls are discovered in Texas, meaning that oil has successfully infiltrated all five gulf states. Fuck you, BP!

The Artist Still Known As Prince says the Internet is dead.

The “grand finale” during the fireworks display goes horribly wrong in Palmyra, PA as eleven people are hurt.

Queen Elizabeth to visit New York City for the first time since 1976.

The Feds file a lawsuit today against Arizona’s SB 1070.

Charles Manson follower Leslie “Lulu” Van Houten is up for parole.

Stamps may go up by a 2-cent increase to 46 cents next year.

Michael Astorga appeals his conviction for the murder of Bernalillo County deputy James McGrane in 2006.

A fire broke out at the Mountain Run shopping center early this morning.

Hot summer: temperatures could reach 102 degrees as the east coast gets slammed with a massive heat wave.

A topless woman in Albuquerque slams into a gas line with her car.