“uz tha debil” –John Boehner to Ted Cruz
I really enjoy Tina Fey but I don't understand how people can just call her perfect when she relies on socially acceptable racism so much.
And this is exactly why, out of all the Harry Potter films, Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince is my favorite.
Kesha is recording again!
The next Vice President could be Tom Perez.
Another Doctors Without Borders hospital has been attacked.
This ancient treat fucks eeeeeverything up.
Former House Speaker and life-long sex offender Dennis Hastert has been sentenced to just 15 months in prison.
Another white actor gets a role playing an Asian character.
Let's hope you're not 110% pure rage like me (just kidding, I got 39%).
Bernie Sanders is psychic? No, he's just logical, you nitwit.
Wanna go on a trip to the Pussy Vortex with rapper Dio Ganhdih?
Hillary Clinton talks about her “greatest regret” again.
Gwyneth Paltrow (and Beyonce, sources say) learned choreography from one of the toughest teachers of this century.
One local school is looking to change it's name.
NASA talks about the loneliest lil' planet that ever was.
Off to space we go! Again! Hopefully we won't crash this time!
Not only will the 20 dollar bill be updated, but the five and 10, too! Wow!
And the world lost a true talent last night, Prince.
So a cop got basically no punishment for following an unarmed man and shooting him dead.
Could this simple solution really help end sexual assault on American campuses?
Bernie Bros come in all sizes and varieties. Fantastic.
Animals don't give a fuck about you and your nonsense.
In a survey of over 1,000 people, researchers were able to confirm something everyone already knew. What a good way to spend time and money.
Have you ever been so infatuated with someone that you didn't notice a crime happening right in front of you?
“I’m 28. I make $4 million a year. What do you do?” yells the man-child douche-bag, David Brackett.
Some horrible young men in town have been caught exploiting teen girls.
Have you heard of the “New Jim Crow”?
This lady is a real shitty date.
What’s worse than untested rape kits put in storage for years? Destroying them.
I envision a large white man foaming at the mouth, spitting every time he speaks. His eyes are bloodshot and a vein in his neck is popping out as he yells that women are Satan’s catalyst; that’s what I see when I imagine an anti-abortion conference, but what is it really like?
Whenever I hear people say things like these bullshit responses, my eyes roll into the back of my head as I scream with the fury of every teen girl (which is infinite).
Yay for new rhinos!
Aerie is creating a new market for body positivity for everyone.
A running list of all the racist things that have happened at Voldemort Rallies.
“Honey, where’d you put my revolver?” “I didn’t touch it; you probably left in your drawer.” “I’m looking in my drawer right now and I don’t see it.” We’ve all been there, right?
Well, break my heart into a million pieces and then repair it with a snap of your fingers (kinda).
So if you don’t have cable or internet at home, like me, here’s a list of the things you missed at the Democratic Debate last night.
Who could have guessed that women would try to continue to have abortions despite more preventive laws?
There was a Furry convention at a hotel where Syrian refugees are staying in Vancouver and it’s actually really cute what happened.
Is there an emotional difference between the North Korean government and the “Oregon Occupiers”? Because I can’t tell.
China’s first ever anti-domestic abuse law has already helped some women feel safe enough to come forward with their stories and sue their husbands.
To Toms or not to Toms; is there a question?
Just when you thought racial tensions in Montgomery couldn’t get thicker…
Google’s given a $1 million dollar grant to help UNICEF to help fight the Zika virus.
Why people need to stFu about how Erin Andrews is using her trauma for personal gain.
I hate when people say they’ll move to Canada if Donald Drumpf becomes president. Here’s why.
The new Ghostbusters trailer is here, I repeat: THE NEW GHOSTBUSTERS TRAILER IS HERE.
Victory for indigenous women who were abused during the Guatemalan civil war happened over the weekend.
Tina Fey is brilliant (in case you didn’t know).
If you haven’t already heard, Harper Lee died last night.
The NM Legislature is finally funding the 5,500 rape kits that are on backlog to be tested.
The ‘Hairy Panic’ tumbleweed has taken over an Australian town.
North and South Korea are gunna go to war any minute now.
The Mayor gets called out by a local (former) zookeeper.
In case you need reassertion that the police don’t care about black people in Florida.
This badass kickboxer is teaching Muslim women to defend themselves.
“Men are just smarter than women. It’s just a scientific fact.”
Morgan Stanley has to pay 3.2 billion for their involvement to the mortgage crisis.
“We’re all Africans,” says the rich white lady speaking to other rich white people.
The casual and cool NASA Administrator Charles Bolden talks about Mars and how he had to plead to get into the naval academy.
This one goes out to all my word-nerds.
No, Uber and Lyft are totally legal now!
Justice may exist in the US, starting with Ferguson.
Because bleeding out the hoohah is SUPER luxurious.
The City of Cleveland just told Tamir Rice’s family that they have to pay for the emergency medical services he required after being shot because why stop their trauma after killing their child?!
Hamilton to remain on the ten dollar bill, at least for a little bit longer.
Children crying in their pictures with Santa. Merry Christmas!
In South Korea you can plan your own funeral and even lay in a coffin, right alongside the whole office.
Not into Star Wars? Here's a list of ways to avoid it.
Most awkward part of White House December holiday shindigs? The small chit chat the president and first lady endure while taking pictures with esteemed guests.
Hoverboards are the hot new item this Christmas. Literally. They are catching on fire.
Transphobia is alive and well all over the world—in this case—to sell signs.
Soon everyone can die for the US (if you're into that kinda thing).
Think terrorist attacks on Planned Parenthood is a new thing? HA.
Will justice actually be served with the diverse Freddie Gray Jury? It seems more likely now.
The show Jessica Jones is everything I’ve ever wanted from a drama.
I doubt any of you will be able to go to this exhibition in London, but you can still enjoy these historical photos of the club scene in the UK.
In addition to my upcoming list in the Alibi’s last minute gift guide, take note of this, friends.
Texas says no to confederate flags on license plates.
Two men from South Africa became stowaways on a British Airlines flight to London. The adventure didn't go so well.
A cruise ship in upstate New York suffered a collision while 274 passengers and crew members were on board. Only minor injuries were reported.
Adult summer camps are all the rage this season.
Dylann Roof is said to possibly be affiliated with Neo Nazis. Here's the current 411 on the KKK and other US supremacy groups.
243 medical professionals were charged with false billings to the tune of $700 million in a giant Medicare scam.
Thousands of international travelers are S.O.L. after the US government's visa system crashed.
A woman's dismembered body was found in an abandoned home in Niagara Falls three years after a relative's body was discovered in a similar fashion.
The Queen of Española's crown has been stolen and now she may lose the throne.
Triple-digit weather is coming to the metro this weekend. Wear your sunscreen, drink your h2o, and have a Happy Father's Day!
A year after an accidental release of radiation from WIPP, the Deparment of Energy has said the facility is now totes okay for storing waste plutonium.
Some people's first instinct when they see a bear is to chase it with a hatchet. Police would like to remind you that that instinct is wrong.
A man with an obscured face wants you to know a few things about dog fighting.
A Georgia High School principal blames Satan for the racial remarks she made during a graduation ceremony. Satan could not be reached for comment.
Two Florida hearse drivers have been fired after they made a quick pit stop to pick up some doughnuts. Which I guess you're not supposed to do when there's a corpse in the back of the car.
Good morning! It’s April 15, 2015
And it is Tax Day!
The Hugo Awards for science-fiction literature have become yet another cultural battleground as an organization called the “Sad Puppies” attempt to game the system away from rewarding “literary” works and those that portray “minority or victim groups,”
Getting a divorce can give you a heart attack, especially if you’re a woman,
UNM’s student government will be eliminating all gender specific pronouns from their constitution,
A pharmacist at a Georgia Walmart declined to fill a woman’s miscarriage medication because she “couldn’t think of a valid reason why you would need this prescription”
Arkansas police are installing spyware on lawyers’ computers,
And a man with a degenerative disease is “excited” to be first in line for a head transplant.
Have a great day!
Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 25
and drug dealer Eugene Crane, aka “Blanco Diablo” aka “The Boogie Man,” has been arrested for allegedly wrapping the body of one of his customers in plastic and then dumping her in an empty lot near Roller Skate City after the woman overdosed. Before dumping her, but after she died, he allegedly made time to join his family for dinner,
Geologists with the United States Air Force are set to begin construction on a well to extract poisonous chemicals from Albuquerque’s water supply. The well will be located in a church parking lot, right next to the basketball court,
the Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg wonders if it’s time for “the Jews to leave Europe,”
a Detroit eviction crew discovered the corpses of two children stashed in a deep freeze inside of a vacant apartment. The mother of the children has been taken into custody,
in some of the least depressing news to come out of Iraq, ISIS apparently blew up Saddam Hussein's tomb,
a baby eagle hatched live on eagle-cam,
and a restaurant in Africa has closed down after attracting negative attention for their “no blacks” policy.