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V.24 No.19 | 05/07/2015

news

The Daily Word in dog fighting, bee die-offs and racist principals

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed May 13 2015 12:06 PM ]
The Daily Word

A year after an accidental release of radiation from WIPP, the Deparment of Energy has said the facility is now totes okay for storing waste plutonium.

Some people's first instinct when they see a bear is to chase it with a hatchet. Police would like to remind you that that instinct is wrong.

A man with an obscured face wants you to know a few things about dog fighting.

A Georgia High School principal blames Satan for the racial remarks she made during a graduation ceremony. Satan could not be reached for comment.

Two Florida hearse drivers have been fired after they made a quick pit stop to pick up some doughnuts. Which I guess you're not supposed to do when there's a corpse in the back of the car.

And bees are still dying like crazy.

V.24 No.15 | 04/09/2015

news

The Daily Word in taxes, divorce, and human head transplants

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Apr 15 2015 11:07 AM ]
The Daily Word

Good morning! It’s April 15, 2015

And it is Tax Day!

The Hugo Awards for science-fiction literature have become yet another cultural battleground as an organization called the “Sad Puppies” attempt to game the system away from rewarding “literary” works and those that portray “minority or victim groups,”

Getting a divorce can give you a heart attack, especially if you’re a woman,

UNM’s student government will be eliminating all gender specific pronouns from their constitution,

A pharmacist at a Georgia Walmart declined to fill a woman’s miscarriage medication because she “couldn’t think of a valid reason why you would need this prescription”

Arkansas police are installing spyware on lawyers’ computers,

And a man with a degenerative disease is “excited” to be first in line for a head transplant.

Have a great day!

V.24 No.12 | 03/19/2015

news

The Daily Word in the crimes of Blanco Diablo

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Mar 25 2015 9:22 AM ]
The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 25

and drug dealer Eugene Crane, aka “Blanco Diablo” aka “The Boogie Man,” has been arrested for allegedly wrapping the body of one of his customers in plastic and then dumping her in an empty lot near Roller Skate City after the woman overdosed. Before dumping her, but after she died, he allegedly made time to join his family for dinner,

Geologists with the United States Air Force are set to begin construction on a well to extract poisonous chemicals from Albuquerque’s water supply. The well will be located in a church parking lot, right next to the basketball court,

the Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg wonders if it’s time for “the Jews to leave Europe,”

a Detroit eviction crew discovered the corpses of two children stashed in a deep freeze inside of a vacant apartment. The mother of the children has been taken into custody,

in some of the least depressing news to come out of Iraq, ISIS apparently blew up Saddam Hussein's tomb,

a baby eagle hatched live on eagle-cam,

and a restaurant in Africa has closed down after attracting negative attention for their “no blacks” policy.

V.24 No.10 | 03/05/2015

news

The Daily Word in Breaking Bad pizza, iPhone hacking and court-mandated circumcision

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Mar 11 2015 11:19 AM ]
The Daily Word

Good morning, it’s Wednesday, March 11,

and the New Mexico senate has killed an anti-union bill,

Sandia Labs is trying to hack into your iPhone,

Breaking Bad fans keep throwing pizzas on some lady’s NE Heights home,

video game designers still don’t know how boobs work,

members of the University of Oklahoma’s SAE fraternity are sorry for being so racist,

and a Florida woman is running from the law because she doesn’t want her 4-year-old son circumcised.

Have a great day!

V.24 No.11 | 3/12/2015

news

The Daily Word in racist frat boys, kissing skeletons and the ABCs of death

By Constance Moss [ Mon Mar 9 2015 12:38 PM ]
The Daily Word

A teacher was jailed for showing a graphic adult film that may have been inspired by Edward Gorey, and looks sort of awesome.

A fraternity in Oklahoma has been shut down after its members posted an online video of themselves using racist slurs.

Meanwhile, this art project's video has gone viral, raising awareness and jerking tears all over the globe.

New York's homeless population has reached an all-time high of 60,000, and 25,000 of them are children.

Competition turned deadly at the world's largest dog show.

In less tragic canine news, this dog was found by TSA in a checked suitcase at La Guardia.

A must-listen: It’s dark, it’s smooth, it’s Metallica and Hall & Oates all in one.

Here are some ideas for your Harry Potter-inspired bathroom.

Robert Mapplethorpe, Charles Bukowski, George Burns, Notorious B.I.G., and Brad Delp all died on this date.

Cranky over daylight savings? Turn that frown upside down with an episode of Majestic Loincloth!

V.24 No.9 | 02/26/2015

news

The Daily Word in racist fashion police, net neutrality and GIANT black holes!

By Amelia Olson [ Thu Feb 26 2015 11:53 AM ]
The Daily Word

It's Thursday! Not exactly as good as Friday, but still pretty damn good.

The Internet may not be owned by a few corporations soon because Washington seems to be pretty down with net neutrality!

There is a black hole that is 12 billion times larger than the sun and is 900 million years old.

Zendaya Coleman elegantly explained why assuming dreadlocks smell like “patchouli oil” or “weed” is racist and weird. Giuliana Rancic apologizes. The internet gives Coleman a giant high five.

A new proposal would require Lyft and Uber drivers to provide insurance and undergo extensive background checks.

Surveys conclude that over half of all farm workers in America lack “legitimate documents” and therefore have no legal rights or protection.

V.23 No.43 | 10/23/2014
Sam White (Tessa Thompson) would like you to rephrase that last remark.

Film Review

Dear White People

Unabashed comedy-drama about black and white college students plays all the race cards

By Devin D. O’Leary
Freshman director tackles race relations on campus in unabashed comedy-drama Dear White People.
V.23 No.37 | 9/11/2014

news

The Daily Word in Olive Garden, Chick-Fil-A and the destruction of the universe.

By Carl Petersen [ Mon Sep 8 2014 12:55 PM ]
The Daily Word

I suspect I’ve been fighting the new unidentified respiratory virus for two weeks as of tomorrow.

Atlanta Hawks owner Bruce Levenson comes clean with a racist email.

Stephen Hawking says the God particle could destroy the entire universe.

Behold the viking ring fortress.

Put a coin in dry ice.

Olive Garden offers you endless noodles for seven weeks.

The founder of Chick-Fil-A died.

Kate Middleton is pregnant again.

Will Bernalillo County commissioners put pot on the ballot?

The return of “Cops” makes some people angry.

The Grim Reaper spoke to KRQE.

Happy birthday, Aimee Mann.

V.23 No.28 |

news

The Daily Word in fired cops, frivolous lawsuits and crimes against women, Asians and theater people

RIP Archie of Riverdale

By geoffrey Plant [ Tue Jul 15 2014 10:04 AM ]
The Daily Word

Two former APD cops say they were fired for political reasons and not for kicking the shit out of a suspected car-thief.

It seems like a good idea, but you are not allowed to take items left in front of thrift stores.

The Q-Staff theatre company was victim to theft of props and musical instruments.

Betty or Veronica? You might have a chance now they've killed Archie!

Could be you only like people who are like you.

Meet me in Atlantic City, but not at a casino because they're closing down.

Behold the worst-written and most meandering peripheral tale to Orange is the New Black.

Here is a man that can live on bread alone.

"I was only sleeping...."

John&Yoko were right, this world hates women.

A short education on an extremely offensive and common slur.

Skynyrd kinda did it first, but what if record covers were missing the deceased members?

V.23 No.24 |

news

The Daily Word in fire, a haunted VHS and Redskin racism

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jun 18 2014 9:10 AM ]
The Daily Word

Good morning, it's Wednesday, June 18,

and the Assayii Lake Fire is continuing to spread,

a memorial for Nancy Myers, a woman who was killed at a homeless encampment by a hit-and-run driver on June 9th, will be held this Friday at 6pm at the Albuquerque Rescue Mission courtyard (525 Second SW),

and one New Mexico gubernatorial campaign has been caught lying in emails, and the other apparently doesn't like "fat girls" in bikinis,

Meanwhile,

the US Patent Office has revoked the Redskins' trademarks because they are "disparaging to Native Americans,"

Youtube will soon begin blocking music videos from independent labels,

and a London bus stop is being haunted by a VHS copy of Hell Raiser.

Have a great day!

V.23 No.5 | 1/30/2014
“At Segregated Drinking Fountain, Mobile, Alabama”
Gordon Parks

Arts Feature

In Living Color

Photography series breaks open 1950s segregation

By Brandon Call
The images that appear in Gordon Parks’ Segregation Series deliver a powerful blow against the segregation and racism once prevalent in the South.
V.22 No.35 |

news

The Daily Word in the KKK, French bakers angry at Kanye West, and good news about Ariel Castro

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Sep 4 2013 10:08 AM ]
The Daily Word

Creepy, evil kidnapper Ariel Castro hanged himself in his cell last night. I don't have anything to add other than "Good."

The Los Alamos County Clerk has decided not to issue marriage licenses to gay couples. Mainly because she has the wrong forms.

Speaking of gay marriage, listen to how the extremely eloquent Australian Prime Minister explains his "flip-flop" on the issue.

UNM is introducing a new "Sexual Assault Response Team" this semester.

French bakers are upset with Kanye West's unfair demands re: croissants.

And, in news from Bizarro Earth, the Imperial Wizard of the Wyoming KKK met with, and joined, the NAACP last Saturday.

V.22 No.32 |

news

The Daily Word in auto thefts, baby creepers and the KKK

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Aug 14 2013 10:57 AM ]
The Daily Word

APS to consider a new bathroom policy for transgender students.

Who's watching your baby? For these Houston parents, the answer was "some creepy hacker." He was also yelling at the baby.

Werner Herzog says "Don't text and drive." And it sounds awesome when he says it.

Wondering what Susana Martinez is spending your tax money on? New Mexico In Depth has compiled a searchable data base to answer that question.

A day in the life of the Ku Klux Klan.

Albuquerque thieves love to steal trucks.

And my favorite headline of the week: Goats are eating and peeing all over J. Edgar Hoover’s grave.

V.22 No.23 |

news

The Daily Word in donuts, racists and dead old people

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jun 12 2013 9:25 AM ]
The Daily Word

New Mexico kids are the hungriest in the country.

But hey, now you can have donuts downtown!

And Sadie's takes another step toward its goal of becoming the new Garduños.

The world's oldest man just died. I bet that happens a lot, actually.

Them Mexicans are taking our jobs and now they're even singing our anthem! Why don't they just go back to, uh… Texas…

Sometimes we in the newspaper business make mistakes. Like when we write "stolen groceries" instead of "homicide."

And here's what happens when you take away a woman's right to choose.

V.22 No.15 |

news

The Daily Word in gun buy-backs, creeping fuel spills and conspiracy theorists

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Apr 17 2013 9:43 AM ]
The Daily Word

The Sunport is beefing up security after the Boston Marathon bombings. Because that's what they do when pretty much anything happens.

ABQ City Council: We ain't gonna buy your guns.

The EPA says that Albuquerque residents can look forward to drinking water with "high energy additives" in the future.

There is Spanish in baseball.

Wounded Saudi national who was tackled and taken into custody after the Boston Marathon bombings is found guilty. Of being Saudi. But nothing else.

Anti-government conspiracy nut Alex Jones knows who really bombed the marathon! Spoiler alert: He thinks the government did it. As part of a conspiracy. Because he is a nut.

Weiner rises again! (No, I don't care about this. Yes, I only included it for the dick joke.)

And the gun bill looks like it's going to die.

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