It’s Wednesday, May 6,
And an “abstinence only” high school’s student population is suffering from a chlamydia outbreak.
Oh, hey, remember Deflategate? It’s back.
One employee has been released from the hospital and another remains critical after an accident at Los Alamos National Labs.
New Mexico cattle have been mysteriously disappearing. Probably stolen by rustlers. I mean, aliens. Obviously, aliens.
A rapist on probation was thrown back into jail after it was discovered he owned a copy of the “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” DVD.
And the Department of Energy has agreed to pay the state of New Mexico $73 million dollars in fines following a radiation leak at the WIPP underground waste facility.
Have a great day!
It's Wednesday, May 14th,
and experts suggest that the WIPP radiation leak may be due to kitty litter. "Just regular cat litter," said Dr. Jim Concha;
New Mexico's own Mora County is getting ready to battle fracking companies in a case with national implications,
and a beautiful spring is giving way to New Mexico's fifth, and least popular, season: Fire Season.
Justin Beiber has been accused of stealing a cell phone at a Los Angeles batting cage,
scientists have found the oldest sperm on record, but aren't sure why it's so big,
global warming will continue to make my margaritas more expensive,
and a man installing a No Parking sign received a parking ticket. "But I'm putting these signs up," the man said "Then you should know you can't park here," the officer responded.
Have a great day!
According to the EPA, tailings from abandoned uranium mines have left nearby residents in Grants and Milan exposed to harmful levels of airborne radiation.
In related news, Mt. Taylor may soon be home to the world's largest uranium mine, bringing much needed revenue to the state. And also probably cancer.
Just because they show up armed with semiautomatic weapons, a "fleet" of cop cars and an Army helicopter doesn't mean you have to let them in.
Harsh three-strikes laws now extended to muppets.
Serena Williams offers her opinion on the Steubenville rape survivor and also reminds everyone that you can be both good at tennis and a clueless moron who probably shouldn't offer her opinion on the Steubenville rape survivor.
This just in: Jimmy Hoffa is still missing.
Howard Dean defends Obama's decision to attack
Lybia Libya: This time our government isn't lying to us.
South Dakota now requires a three day wait before an abortion.
Albuquerque is losing money on red light cameras.
Homeland Security says they could strip search every airline passenger if they wanted to.
13 illegal immigrants arrested in California wearing US Marine uniforms.
Seven black men shot and killed so far this year in Miami.
Another thing to worry about: the status of US nuclear spent-fuel storage.
Fox News is sending security guards do its war reporting.
The town of Bernalillo files suit against NM Gas Company to recover damages from last month's gas outages.
Santa Fe Police Chief Aric Wheeler is resigning from his position.
Maybe you should help James O'Keefe pay off his credit card debt.
Should you give money to homeless people?
Was God's wife edited from the Bible?
Finish those episodes of Dexter and Weeds quickly, Showtime won't be renewing it's contract with Netflix to stream them instantly.
Iran unveils its flying saucer to the world.
Elderly man stoned to death for making gay advance.
Beloved old-timey actress Elizabeth Taylor is dead at 79.
Whatever you do, don't take a picture of this guy's mohawk.
Someone found a 50-million-year old piece of lizard skin.
I'm not sure what to think about the costume for the new Wonder Woman TV show.
Barella redesigns its spaghetti box to announce it is redisgning its spaghetti box.
Is your blog among the 100 web sites the movie and music industry want shut down?
I guess yesterday's rumors of Charlie Sheen coming back to Two And A Half Men weren't true.
The Lord of the Rings is finally being released on Blu-Ray this summer (not that I have a Blu-Ray player).
For some reason I really identify with Paranoid Parrot.
Coming soon: Koala burgers.
Twenty-five police officer fails.
Seven supermarket rip-offs.
I haven't watched the Masters of the Universe in a long time, but I don't remember He-Man being all sweary.