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V.20 No.25 | 6/23/2011
Looks little...
Looks little...

Animals

Red Dragon Invades Downtown

Monster possibly about to make a trip to Knockouts

By Summer Olsson [ Tue Jun 21 2011 2:32 PM ]

I love this weird city. A crowd of shrieking and pointing passersby attracted me to the front entrance of Knockouts on my way back from lunch this afternoon. It was not a dancer doing something outrageous. It was the biggest four-legged reptile I’ve ever encountered outside of a zoo. It was rough and reddish, with a long white band on its tail and enormous jowls. Unlike the speedy Godzilla, or a Komodo dragon, it was crawling along like cold honey. And it was moving steadily towards the Knockouts door. His owner stood calmly minding him, answering questions from rubberneckers like me.

But it’s big!
But it’s big!

Me: “Holy shit!”

Owner: “ ... “

Me: “What is that?”

Owner: “Red tegu.”

Is that a goiter?
Is that a goiter?

Me: “Where’s it from?”

Owner: “Argentina.”

Me: “Oh my god, what does it eat?”

Just takin my lizard to the strip club.
Just takin my lizard to the strip club.

Owner: “Meat. He’s a carnivore.”

Me: “Holy shit!”

The nice man explained, however, that he has this particular red tegu on a diet of wet dog food. Still, I wouldn’t try to pet it, as they are known for eating anything that can fit between their jaws.

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