If you wanna be the new CEO of Abercrombie (apparently they’re still a store) you can be! Because that one guy quit. Or resigned. Or whatever the “cool kids” do.
A local high school creative writing teacher resigned after controversy surrounding a student's story about Jesus handing out pot. (Why wasn’t she our high school creative writing teacher?!)
And who hasn’t demanded a plane be taxied back to its terminal when flight snacks are served inadequately?
This woman dressed as the Abominable Snowman, and her poodle, Lizard, understand the true meaning of Christmas/life.
Any time we’ve asked for a bite of someone’s brownie, it was NEVER laced with pot. Thanks for nothing!
In other more duh-ish news, a scientist thinks laughing gas is a great way to treat depression! Tell my uptight dentist that. He’s stingy with that shit.
And if you have a genius cat, it’s possible she was once an “Egyptian princess” who was “used to being treated like a deity”
Our kids are dancing! They’re dancing and focusing and doing their chores! Hallelujah!
Here, let Tony Blair show you how to pose gracefully for a Christmas card.
A former UPS employee is suing the company for allegedly firing her for being pregnant.
Science says alcohol gives us energy and we’ve probably been drinking it for millions of years! Cheers!
Coca-Cola will soon sell milk! And by the looks of their advertisements, that milk is going to be sexy! LOL. LOL. LOL.
This Pomeranian dressed like Elvis understands life better than any of us ever will.
Japan-based company makes realistic looking, creepy food jewelry. We want the spaghetti necklace, banana hair clip and chocolate chip cookie hair tie!
Save nudity and “pornography” for Coca-Cola milk products, Florida!
Police captured a serial killer in Indiana.
Peyton Manning broke the touchdown record.
People born in the summer are prone to mood swings.
A mouse-grown intestine signals hope for organ growth.
Soft drinks lead to accelerated aging.
For chocolate addicts, it might actually be time to panic over the Ebola outbreak.
Bernalillo County will have deputies guarding the abandoned Sandia Ranch insane asylum against trespassers this Halloween season.
Does anyone care that Monica Lewinsky has joined Twitter?
Test your knowledge of Iron Maiden.
Still don’t have a costume idea for Halloween? Get some help from ex-con Martha Stewart.
A shooting at a Miami club injured 15 people.
There’s a Clinton granddaughter now.
George Clooney got married to a lawyer lady.
Stevie Nicks and Don Henley had a pregnant together, it’s now revealed.
At least 36 people were killed when a Japanese volcano erupted.
There’s political unrest in Hong Kong.
The Raiders’ coach has not been fired yet.
Today is Coffee Day.
Here’s how to purge your Gmail account in five easy steps.
It’s raining feces.
Not so fast, Pluto, you may not be a planet afterall…
A judge refused to issue an injuction against Uber and Lyft operating in NM.
APD Officer Keith Sandy made a weird remark two hours before shooting James Boyd.
There was a body in the road at 118th Street.
What’s happening today in Albuquerque?
Happy birthday, Gene Autry.
Tony Stewart ran over Kevin Ward, killing him during NASCAR training.
A police shooting sparks violence and looting in MO.
A rocket attack assist resulted in a Ukraine jail break.
James Corden will be the newsest face of late night talk.
A double-decker bus crashed in Times Square.
Be careful what you eat in Colorado.
Cigarette butts can help store electricity.
Don’t take a selfie by a cliff.
APD seeks a suspect in a home invasion on Coal.
There was a shooting at Wyoming and Central.
Happy birthday, Hulk Hogan.
Happy 100th birthday, World War I.
Massive, explosive decompression brought down MH17.
I wonder if Palin TV will show Lidsville.
Watch the trailer for the Simpsons/Family Guy crossover episode.
Now worry about kissing-bug disease.
Sexual harrassment at Comic-Con exists.
Get ready for the new mass extinction.
Progress Now NM is pushing for $25 fines for marijuana possission.
An Albuquerque hot dog cart was stolen.
Happy birthday, Steve Morse.
Rest in peace, Tommy Ramone.
Rest in peace, Charlie Haden.
Rest in peace, David Legeno.
Bowe Bergdahl returns to duty.
An inflatable pool could save your life in a scooter accident.
In restaurants, your phone slows down service.
Why do we refrigerate eggs?
The world’s tallest girl … “walked into a ceiling fan.”
Brace yourself for some scary photos.
Making a better saucepan actually is rocket science.
Terrorists: they’re out to get us.
American Idol auditions in Old Town.
APD filmed Ken Ellis on accident.
What’s happening in Albuquerque today?
I saw you, weirdo.
Happy birthday, Gerald Ford.
Consumers of my dancing-
The Daily Mail reports that it's created using carbon nanotubes—"which are 10,000 thinner than human hair and so miniscule that light cannot get in but can pass into the gaps in between"—and if that isn't enough, it's 10 times stronger than steel and conducts heat seven-and-a-half times more effectively than copper. Yeah. Owing to my obsessive-compulsive nature, themes prove irresistably attractive, so here are my favorite songs that pay tribute to blackety-black, er, Vantablack. Share your favorite black-centric tracks in the comments, fellow darklings.