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V.23 No.39 |

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The Daily Word in Penis, Not Penis, Penis

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Oct 1 2014 10:25 AM ]
The Daily Word

APD officer Keith Sandy joked about shooting James Boyd in the penis before fatally shooting him in the chest. No he didn’t, says the Albuquerque Police Department. Yes he totally frigging did, says Keith Sandy.

Texans will soon arm themselves with crossbows to protect New Mexican pumpkins from wild pigs. This is not one of Nostradmus’s more obscure prophecies, but actually a real thing that’s happening. h/t Dukecityfix.

Cooking With Pooh and 24 more completely inappropriate (but real!) children’s books.

The new Left Behind movie has scored a rare and coveted blurb from Satan himself.

Here’s a new reason to freak out about ebola this week: Freak out!

Super-successful joke maker Seth MacFarlane made a (honestly not-very good) joke about New Mexico last night. News 13 is on the case!

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V.23 No.38 |

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The Daily Word in poverty, beisbol and cannabis

By Samantha Anne Carrillo [ Thu Sep 18 2014 11:43 AM ]
The Daily Word

More nuevomexicanos live in poverty this year compared to last. And we're still the second-most impoverished state in the nation.

The Grey Lady covers the National Police Shooting Championships and surrounding protest.

The Isotopes struck a four-year deal with the Colorado Rockies.

Scope our inaugural Cannabis Issue in print or online for editorials on politics and policy and arts and economics, a N.M. MMJ primer, a cannabis timeline, a compilation of weed quotes and more.

James Gandolfini would have turned 53 years old today. We sure do miss you, boss.

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V.23 No.31 |

news

The Daily Word in bears walking upright

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Aug 6 2014 10:31 AM ]
The Daily Word

Today, we will begin with a bear walking on his hind legs in a quiet cul-de-sac.

Then, the noise of metal on metal and gunfire; cell phone footage from the latest police shooting.

An experimental serum has improved the conditions of two ebola-infected aid workers in Africa.

The clink of spoons on ceramics is silenced as Albuquerque’s first and only cereal bar closes up shop.

A controversial billboard for a plastic surgeon in Ann Arbor has been vandalized with a body-positive message.

And 13 years of warfare have not made us any safer.

V.23 No.15 | 4/10/2014
Still from lapel cam video of the James Boyd shooting
Albuquerque Police Department

La Jicarita

Is There Justice For James Boyd?

By David Correia
What explains the relentless history of police violence in Albuquerque? There are no simple answers to that question. But we may begin to seek an answer in the hard life and violent death of James Boyd.
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V.23 No.12 |

news

The Daily Word in more APD shootings, dog sex and conscious uncoupling

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Mar 26 2014 10:18 AM ]
The Daily Word

It's Wednesday, March 26,

and yesterday, hundreds of people turned out to protest the fatal shooting of James Boyd by Albuquerque police,

so APD showed its willingness to take citizens' concerns seriously by immediately shooting and killing another person,

meanwhile, Her Enlightened Beingness Gwyneth Paltrow would like for her readers to know that she and husband Chris Martin will be "consciously uncoupling," or, as mortals call it,"divorcing,"

and kangaroos are invading Romania,

dog sex remains utterly weird and awful,

and Robert Basler of the Santa Fe Reporter isn't sure whether New Mexican food actually exists.

Have a great day.

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The Daily Word in golden parachutes, flight MH370 and Hawaii's prostitution

By Mark Lopez [ Fri Mar 21 2014 9:28 AM ]
The Daily Word

No debris has been found after the second day of an international search for missing Malaysia flight MH370.

I want an $80 million golden parachute!

A motel on the Jersey shore caught fire this morning, leaving at least three people dead and others injured.

Officers in Hawaii want to keep having sex with prostitutes.

Doris Lark, 71, and Floy Watson, 74, say they didn't steal the scrapbooks.

A pedestrian was killed last night while trying to cross I-40 near Route 66 Casino.

A man has been put in jail after he allegedly “targeted” an Albuquerque police officer and his family.

A video of the Foothills shooting on March 16 has surfaced.

A woman withdrew her membership to Planet Fitness because they told her that her body was too rockin'.

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V.23 No.3 |

news

The Daily Word a football camel's death, NSA's data and a photographing poser

By Mark Lopez [ Fri Jan 17 2014 9:58 AM ]
The Daily Word

President Obama says he will “end the National Security Agency’s ability to store phone data collected from millions of Americans.” Sure …

A 4-year-old girl in Detroit accidentally shot and killed her 4-year old cousin.

In case you haven't heard, the 2014 Academy Award nominations are out!

A voting law in Pennsylvania that would require people to show photo ID's at the polls was struck down.

ABQ police are on the lookout for man claiming to be a UNM photography student who takes photos of girls.

Congress has cut funding for horse slaughter operations by passing a $1.1 trillion budget bill that prohibits the Department of Agriculture from spending money on inspectors for equine facilities.

In the aftermath of Tuesday's Berrendo Middle School shooting in Roswell, N.M., police are looking at suspect Mason Campbell's Instagram page to see if it bears any relevance.

Elias Montoya, a New Mexico State Police officer who was fired for opening fire on a minivan full of kids in Taos, gives his side of the story.

Princess, a football-predicting camel, dies weeks ahead of Super Bowl. RIP.

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By Mark Lopez [ Fri Jan 17 2014 9:58 AM ]
The Daily Word

President Obama says he will “end the National Security Agency’s ability to store phone data collected from millions of Americans.” Sure …

A 4-year-old girl in Detroit accidentally shot and killed her 4-year old cousin.

In case you haven't heard, the 2014 Academy Award nominations are out!

A voting law in Pennsylvania that would require people to show photo ID's at the polls was struck down.

ABQ police are on the lookout for man claiming to be a UNM photography student who takes photos of girls.

Congress has cut funding for horse slaughter operations by passing a $1.1 trillion budget bill that prohibits the Department of Agriculture from spending money on inspectors for equine facilities.

In the aftermath of Tuesday's Berrendo Middle School shooting in Roswell, N.M., police are looking at suspect Mason Campbell's Instagram page to see if it bears any relevance.

Elias Montoya, a New Mexico State Police officer who was fired for opening fire on a minivan full of kids in Taos, gives his side of the story.

Princess, a football-predicting camel, dies weeks ahead of Super Bowl. RIP.

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By Mark Lopez [ Fri Jan 17 2014 9:58 AM ]
The Daily Word

President Obama says he will “end the National Security Agency’s ability to store phone data collected from millions of Americans.” Sure …

A 4-year-old girl in Detroit accidentally shot and killed her 4-year old cousin.

In case you haven't heard, the 2014 Academy Award nominations are out!

A voting law in Pennsylvania that would require people to show photo ID's at the polls was struck down.

ABQ police are on the lookout for man claiming to be a UNM photography student who takes photos of girls.

Congress has cut funding for horse slaughter operations by passing a $1.1 trillion budget bill that prohibits the Department of Agriculture from spending money on inspectors for equine facilities.

In the aftermath of Tuesday's Berrendo Middle School shooting in Roswell, N.M., police are looking at suspect Mason Campbell's Instagram page to see if it bears any relevance.

Elias Montoya, a New Mexico State Police officer who was fired for opening fire on a minivan full of kids in Taos, gives his side of the story.

Princess, a football-predicting camel, dies weeks ahead of Super Bowl. RIP.

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V.23 No.2 |

news

The Daily Word in banana capers, devil babies and standing your ground

By Ty Bannerman [ Wed Jan 15 2014 9:07 AM ]
The Daily Word

The NSA is still watching you masturbate/plot terrorist attacks/play minesweeper, even if your computer is offline.

In the far future, you will tell your children that January 15, 2014 was the day you first heard of the Great Banana Caper.

Life-sized robot baby teaches innocent passersby that children are evil and should never be approached, no matter how pathetically they cry.

More proof that children are evil: Nasty notes from the under-10 set. "Sorry because of nothing."

The attorney representing a former police officer who shot and killed a man for texting in a movie theater is arguing that the shooter was actually a victim in fear for his life. Because the other man threw popcorn at him.

Neutral Milk Hotel will be stopping by Albuquerque in April.

And finally, the world is dark and depressing and our hearts go out to the children of Roswell.

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V.22 No.52 |

news

The Daily Word in Pussy Riot, New Mexico tourism and Nintendo porn

By Mark Lopez [ Fri Dec 27 2013 9:48 AM ]
The Daily Word

Pussy Riot may be out of prison, but their work is far from over.

Conrad Alvin Barrett's getting charged with a hate crime, and he thought he was just playing a game.

A Louisiana man, who was in the middle of a custody battle for his four children, shot and killed three people before killing himself.

Monsignor William Lynn's case involving priest-sex abuse charges was overturned, and he could get released as early as this week after spending 18 months behind bars.

Utah wants to take same-sex marriage ruling to the US Supreme Court.

Speaking of same-sex marriage, now that it's legal in New Mexico, does that mean a boost in tourism?

Robert Ortiz, after drunkenly rolling his Chevy Blazer, goes into a giggle fit when cops issue a sobriety test. Oh, and he also has 10 DWI arrests to his name.

Thanks to good road crews, descansos remain on the highways.

A father in Virginia reported to local news that his son found pornographic images on a Nintendo gaming system he got for Christmas. Sorry buddy.

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V.22 No.50 |

news

The Daily Word in Coca-Cola's split, a two-headed pig and Senate battles

By Mark Lopez [ Fri Dec 13 2013 10:52 AM ]
The Daily Word

Retired FBI agent Robert Levinson has vanished in Iran, and according to AP, he was doing some work for the CIA.

The Democrats and Republicans are duking it out in the Senate … well, not physically.

Coca-Cola's split in two? What should we do?

Authorities say up to four people were stabbed outside the Sports Authority Field after the Denver Broncos lost to the San Diego Chargers.

A SWAT “situation” has ended peacefully after shots were reported at a home in Rio Rancho.

An Albuquerque school bus driver has been accused of punching a student in the face as he was headed home from Eisenhower Middle School.

The City has paid $900,000 to the family of an unarmed man who was shot and killed by APD in 2011.

Rio Grande High School transformed its gym into Italy for one of its students who has been battling leukemia for the past year.

You ever see a two-headed pig? I wouldn't recommend it.

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V.22 No.46 |

news

The Daily Word in the postal service, Van Damme's split and New Mexico immigration

By Mark Lopez [ Fri Nov 15 2013 11:15 AM ]
The Daily Word

Mr. Ford can't fight the fever … “to lose some powers” has gotta be rough.

Police have identified the passenger who fell from a small plane that was flying over the Atlantic.

Patsy Davis' body was exhumed from her frontyard after her husband lost a court battle to keep her in her wanted resting place.

The postal service lost $5 billion this past year.

An abortion protester named Rives Grogan was arrested yesterday for shouting at people near Zimmerman Library about religion and abortion. He's being charged with disorderly conduct and public nuisance. And that's not counting his Veterans Day stunt.

Today is the last day for early voting in the special election. The election itself happens on Nov. 19.

US attorneys have prosecuted 5,999 people for immigration offenses in New Mexico so far this year, the fastest rise among the country's 94 judicial districts.

And you thought you could do the splits?

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V.22 No.42 |

news

The Daily Word in Nevada shootings, online health care woes and the zombie obsession

By Mark Lopez [ Mon Oct 21 2013 10:11 AM ]
The Daily Word

President Obama will give a talk today addressing problems people have been having with HeathCare.gov, a new health care website that allows people to compare insurance rates, understand health care laws and more.

A lawyer for a Roma couple accused of kidnapping a little girl in Greece says that the couple adopted her from her birth mother, though they still haven't located said mother for verification.

Hurricane Raymond is getting stronger.

There was a shooting at Sparks Middle School in Nevada this morning. Police say the suspect was “neutralized,” though it's not clear how many were shot, but the children were evacuated to the nearby high school.

There was another shooting in Nevada this morning, though this one was at a Las Vegas casino, in which one person was pronounced dead and two were wounded. Police say the suspect is in custody.

Joseph Sandoval, 50, was killed on Saturday after being struck by a Rail Runner train that was headed north to Santa Fe. Police are still trying to figure out why Sandoval was near the tracks.

Scott Chandler, owner of Tierra Blanca Ranch, spoke to Matt Lauer on "The TODAY Show" about the allegations of abuse and the Amber Alert for nine missing kids last week.

You think UNM has a solution to the national debt?

Are zombies holding America's imagination hostage?

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V.22 No.39 | 9/26/2013

news

The Daily Word in foodstamps, mugshots and eyeballs

By Nick Brown [ Fri Sep 20 2013 11:05 AM ]
The Daily Word

Patrick Swayze’s mom died. She taught him how to dance and use the bathroom. I think I’ll name a drink after her.

There was a shooting in Chicago.

Goodbye, foodstamps.

How to make ramen crust pizza.

Hey, look. This awesome story about lightsaber thumbwrestling was written by our Albuquerque pal Amanda Kooser.

Someday, I would like to have a pet antelope.

King Nerd delivers a speech.

SNL is finding cast members on the web.

Yes, I do always have to post something about Star Trek.

Everyone loves pictures of eyeballs.

Funny old-timey mugshots.

Beware Mountain Dew Mouth.

Rest in peace, Mary, of Mary and Tito’s.

Happy birthday Devin O’Leary.

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