President Obama: “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”

In related news, Geraldo Rivera is saying really dumb shit ... again.

American Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales will be charged with 17 counts of murder for the Afghani massacre.

Two young men shot and killed in the Unser and Arenal area.

Advancing from last night’s NCAA Sweet Sixteen games: Syracuse, Ohio State, Florida and Louisville.

Thirty-seven venomous reptiles found at apartment complex. For a great quote, skip to the 1-minute mark, wherein “Albuquerque Animal Control says the animal surrendered his animals.” Of course, that prompts the question, What would Brian Fellow say?

Drunk man calls police because his drunk wife wouldn’t go to sleep while he was Facebooking.

Famous people read hate mail over R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts.”

In today’s fuzzy, feel-good news, teenage hopeless romantic asks porn stars to prom.

Whitney Houston’s death ruled as accidental drowning.

Obama elects Dartmouth president to head World Bank.

Man arrested for doin’ drunken doughnuts on a tractor.

http://thenunsgarden.org/saint-euphrosyne.php

I try to recall the story of a saint who raised money for the poor. I search for the story in the compost pile, but all I can find are small snakes and a Jerusalem cricket.

Indiana Jones would not be happy

Like many of you, I find snakes as fascinating and seductive as I do terrifying. They can be unpredictable and intimidating in their exotic, alluring beauty.  Wait—are we still taking about snakes here? Anywho, it seems the BioPark decided it would be the ideal place to raise two venomous snakes rescued from an "accidental capture." Apparently, the snakes got tangled in with a fish shipment of some sort, and ended up in Cali. These snakes, dear cowboys and girls, are not your average rattlers. They are Hydrophis fasciatus, sea snakes from India considered to be among the deadliest species on planet Earth.  I imagine I'm not the only citizen of the Duke City that considers this a bad idea. The irony here is that these snakes are also among the more fragile of reptiles and almost never survive in captivity. Experts are on the case and reptile enthusiasts are aroused by the prospect of these two slinky scoundrels making the BioPark their long-term crib. Will this be a break-through for zoo keepers and serpent-lovers alike, or a deadly tragedy for some unlucky zoo-goer that most obviously could have been avoided? To snake lovers partial to the two-eyed variety, I say visit the BioPark this summer if you must, but be sure to bring your anti-venom.