President Obama decides its time to sit down for a talk with America's truly important figures.
Turns out excessive fast food consumption is linked to infertility, especially in men. Sorry boys, but if you want to have kids, put down the whopper.
Apparently poodles are a real turn on for some people but don't have sex with your girlfriend's dog. Just don't.
If you see a guy dragging an ATM with a rental truck, know this: he stole both of those things. Only in Albuquerque, am I right?
She got knocked down but she got up again. Nothing, not even the Boston bombing, kept this persistent woman down.
Bacteria does serve a purpose- art supplies for the nerdy.
Stealthy snake pretends to be an eight-legged insect as a ploy to catch a bird. You just can't trust anyone these days.
Ain’t no fun (If my generals can’t have none)
Motion by hand.
Satan Solutions, pushing your company DOWN.
The ills of media parenting.
High schools are just now catching on that a later start time means healthier students. Did you think beauty rest was a myth?
Authorities now think the Malaysian plane that's been missing for almost a week was “deliberately flown off-course.”
The NSA has made Mark Zuckerberg so mad that he called the President to complain.
Police in California arrested a teen father for allegedly biting the nose off his 1-month-old son because he wouldn't stop crying.
It's looking like fewer planes are gonna land in Albuquerque.
Renatta Torres, mother of Christopher Torres (who was fatally shot by APD almost three years ago), took to the stand to talk about her son.
Anthony Samora, 46, is getting life in prison, plus 27 years, for raping and murdering a 16-year-old boy. This was his second conviction for rape.
According to a report released today, a truck that caught fire at WIPP was “improperly maintained.”
I guess this just adds to the many reasons I don't like snakes.
President Obama: “If I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.”
American Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales will be charged with 17 counts of murder for the Afghani massacre.
Two young men shot and killed in the Unser and Arenal area.
Advancing from last night’s NCAA Sweet Sixteen games: Syracuse, Ohio State, Florida and Louisville.
Thirty-seven venomous reptiles found at apartment complex. For a great quote, skip to the 1-minute mark, wherein “Albuquerque Animal Control says the animal surrendered his animals.” Of course, that prompts the question, What would Brian Fellow say?
Drunk man calls police because his drunk wife wouldn’t go to sleep while he was Facebooking.
Famous people read hate mail over R.E.M.’s “Everybody Hurts.”
In today’s fuzzy, feel-good news, teenage hopeless romantic asks porn stars to prom.
Whitney Houston’s death ruled as accidental drowning.
Obama elects Dartmouth president to head World Bank.
Man arrested for doin’ drunken doughnuts on a tractor.
I try to recall the story of a saint who raised money for the poor. I search for the story in the compost pile, but all I can find are small snakes and a Jerusalem cricket.
Like many of you, I find snakes as fascinating and seductive as I do terrifying. They can be unpredictable and intimidating in their exotic, alluring beauty. Wait—are we still taking about snakes here? Anywho, it seems the BioPark decided it would be the ideal place to raise two venomous snakes rescued from an "accidental capture." Apparently, the snakes got tangled in with a fish shipment of some sort, and ended up in Cali. These snakes, dear cowboys and girls, are not your average rattlers. They are Hydrophis fasciatus, sea snakes from India considered to be among the deadliest species on planet Earth. I imagine I'm not the only citizen of the Duke City that considers this a bad idea. The irony here is that these snakes are also among the more fragile of reptiles and almost never survive in captivity. Experts are on the case and reptile enthusiasts are aroused by the prospect of these two slinky scoundrels making the BioPark their long-term crib. Will this be a break-through for zoo keepers and serpent-lovers alike, or a deadly tragedy for some unlucky zoo-goer that most obviously could have been avoided? To snake lovers partial to the two-eyed variety, I say visit the BioPark this summer if you must, but be sure to bring your anti-venom.