V.26 No.12 | 03/23/2017
The Daily Word in Tasmanian Tigers, 3-Foot Worms and Poor Timing
By Joshua Lee [ Sat Mar 25 2017 9:31 AM ]
Those silly GOP ad campaigners! They accidentally ran ads last night in certain red blocks thanking specific supporters for their help in "replacing the Affordable Care Act." Not only were they patting themselves on the back for a bill that was pulled off the table before the ad had even aired, they were also thanking some officials who had pulled their support earlier in the day. Ha-freakin'-ha!
SpaceX says it's next launch will prove that it has reusable rockets.
Want to see the earliest depiction of a guinea worm? This Medieval painting shows the three-foot long parasite coming out of someone's skin. Gross!
Holy hell! Sightings of the Tasmanian tiger--thought to be extinct--have prompted scientists to launch a study to see if they can catch one on camera.
V.25 No.14 | 04/07/2016
The Daily Word in Real Fake Art, Black Helicopters and Soft Landings
By Joshua Lee [ Sun Apr 10 2016 9:59 AM ]
Tech freaks in the Netherlands created a new Rembrandt painting with a 3D printer. They used "deep learning" algorithms to analyze style and brush stroke depth. God bless them.
So I've been telling people that when they develop super robot eyes with hyper-HD and x-ray vision, I'm gonna pop the old models out of my head and roll them into the gutter. Look at this intensely painful optical illusion and see if you don't agree with me. Ouch. My brain am equal hurt!
Speaking of robot sex; a clever study showed that people will still have emotional reactions to anthropomorphic robots, even if they don't look human. How it worked: A robot tells you to touch its hand, then touch its neck, then its buttocks. Guess what. Touching a strange plastic ass makes people just as uncomfortable as the real thing.
Apparently, FBI and DHS have been flying secret surveillance missions over ABQ since last fall, sometimes spending more than an hour circling areas of the city. At least one of these planes was outfitted with FLIR thermal detection and a type of augmented reality program that overlays street data on top of live video. AP blew the whistle just last year on surveillance planes being deployed all over the country through FBI shell corporations. Boy, do I feel safe and completely comfortable with this information. I hope everyone is reading this.
V.25 No.2 | 01/14/2016
The Daily Word in Rubik's Cubes, Rockets and the Plague
By Joshua Lee [ Sun Jan 17 2016 10:00 AM ]
The state's first ever skijoring competition began yesterday. It's a sport that combines downhill skiing, horseback riding and water skiing, apparently. Scratch your head all you like, the world still won't make any sense.
David Bowie's music sales made up 25% of this week's Top 40, with 241,000 albums and 167,000 singles sold. Still waiting on the numbers from the platform shoes and glitter markets.
Argentina's complicated economic problems (like the bizarre coin shortage related to black market bus fares) has made it the the perfect spot for bitcoin to strut its stuff.
A lunatic with a 3D printer has created a functioning 22x22 Rubik's cube. If solved, it will open a doorway to Hell (I assume).
Two Santa Fe dogs were treated for the plague. City officials remind citizens to keep pets away from dead animals. Don't worry. The dogs are ok.
SpaceX will be attempting to launch and land a rocket today. Watch the live feed at 11:42am, or check in later to see how it fared.
A 32-acre fake town, complete with graffitied street signs, traffic lights and storefronts has been built near the University of Michigan to test self-driving cars.
A report concludes that negligence was to blame for the shipping of live anthrax from an Army biodefense lab to spots all over the country and abroad. Cough. This does not help my hypochondria.
A city official in Cranston, RI talked a man into disguising himself as a woman to improve a photo op.
New Mexico company develops a sweet-ass hoverboard. For a mere $19,900, you can make me one happy writer.
V.24 No.27 | 7/2/2015
The Daily Word in rocket explosion, one more second and the ugliest dog in the world
By Constance Moss [ Mon Jun 29 2015 12:36 PM ]
A very large pig was rescued from a dead hoarder's home, thanks to the Detroit Police Department.
The debt crisis in Greece is screwing up the global economy.
Shortly after launch, a SpaceX rocket exploded.
A heat-packing pizza delivery driver shot an armed robber at a Duke City Domino's last night.
The bassist and cofounder of the band Yes has died at the age of 67.
A canine named "Quasi Modo" won the blue ribbon for World's Ugliest Dog.
Presidential candidate Donald Trump hasn't voted in 25 years.
V.22 No.9 |
The Daily Word in sequester, sinkhole, silly Dragon
By E.J. Maliskas [ Fri Mar 1 2013 9:36 AM ]
Obama is meeting with Congressional leaders in a last-ditch effort to stave off the sequester which includes $85 billion in automatic across-the-board domestic and defense cuts set to take effect today.
The search continues for a man considered armed and dangerous in Tijeras canyon.
What's it like to run a Pope-less Catholic church?
Bye bye Pope, hello new bishop in Las Cruces.
A Florida man is presumed dead after the bedroom in which he was sleeping suddenly collapsed into a 30-foot wide sinkhole and swallowed up the entire room.
The Dragon's up there, but she ain't workin'.
New hope for Dixon's Apple Orchard.
Florida police say a man who reported a missing crowbar to police faces charges after he admitted that the tool was used in two home invasions.
"im not turnin my self....run run as fast as u can u cant catch me im da ginger bread man......sincierly da gingerbread man,"
V.21 No.47 |
The Daily Word in Obamacare challenge, LiLo's new movie, Gangnam Christmas
Happy Cyber Monday!
By E.J. Maliskas [ Mon Nov 26 2012 9:52 AM ]
The supreme court has revived a Christian college's challenge to Obamacare.
Lobos hold it together for a 69-54 win over Portland to take record to 6-0.
Just how bad was Lindsay Lohan's new movie?
Real ID Act has some New Mexicans scrambling to get their passports.
Woman arrested after reportedly riding a manatee for thrills.
A clown collapsed and died while blowing up balloons at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
A Black Friday shopper died after being tackled by Wal-Mart eployees.
Man parked on a median off of Academy charged with his fourth DWI.
A NASA astronaut and Russian cosmonaut will spend a full year aboard the ISS to study how the human body reacts and adapts to the space environment.
SpaceX founder wants to help colonize Mars.
Christmas lights Gangnam style.
60-square-mile Sandy Island shown on Google maps does not appear to actually exist.
Five members of the LANL security force fired for "improper use of a live fire shooting range."
What our friends would be like if they were cats and dogs.
V.21 No.40 | 10/4/2012
The Daily Word in wedding fights, puking celebrities, rescued ducks
By E.J. Maliskas [ Mon Oct 8 2012 10:22 AM ]
Romney and Obama are all tied up.
SpaceX’s Dragon spacecraft launched successfully yesterday towards the ISS.
Lobo football caught another win over the weekend.
One dead and three arrested after a massive brawl between two wedding parties in Philly.
Felix Baumgartner’s supersonic free fall will go down tomorrow over Roswell, pending weather conditions.
Group of grown-up rescue ducks experience a pond for the first time, adorableness ensues.
Three teens who broke out of a juvenile corrections facility in Sandoval County are now back in custody.
Two pre-teen girls arrested after sneaking back into a school and spending the night there running through the halls, eating snacks, making prank phone calls and hacking into computers.
High School students in Illinois suspended for eating mints at school.
British teen has to have a large part of her stomach removed after indulging in a nitrogen-infused cocktail.
Mitt Romney does have fabulous hair.
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