We want to teach you how to do everything. Our first effort toward that lofty goal is the first installment of our How to Do Literally Everything issue.
Test your knowledge of an APD shooting that made international headlines with this week's Crib Notes.
In other Alibi-related news, contributing writer David Correia was interviewed by website The Real News Network about the struggle against police brutality in Albuquerque. Read more on the subject in his Alibi articles "Is There Justice For James Boyd?" and "Life and Death and APD: Albuquerque's police violence problem."
But both the theatrical and extended cuts of Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac Volumes I and II are streaming on Netflix. Plus Antichrist and Melancholia. Not convinced? Scope our reviews of Nymphomaniac Volume I and II and Melancholia. Now take your antidepressants and screen some film.
Terrorists promise a surprise for the Sochi Olympics.
Seattle and Denver will face off in the Superbowl.
Welcome to Justin Bieber’s treasure trove of drugs.
Snorting Smarties can lead to nasal maggots.
Scientists ponder the magical appearance of a strange Martian rock.
Ron Jeremy sings “Wrecking Ball.”
Yoko Ono sings “Fireworks.”
Due to smog, sunrise in Beijing is televised.
We may have found the remains of Alfred the Great.
Here’s a list of what the NSA can do.
Meet the Paranormal Intelligence Agency.
A woman crashed into a pole at Grant Middle School.
A man was stabbed at Third and Central.
Happy birthday DeForest Kelly.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia talks to Piers Morgan.
Suicide bombing in Bulgaria targeting Israeli vacationers.
George Zimmerman gives his first interview, has no
Man attacked by swarm of bees in Las Cruces.
Attempted kidnapping in Philadelphia caught on tape.
Rockstar astrophysicist Neil Degrasse Tyson explains why the original Star Trek Enterprise is the best ship ever.
Chick-Fil-A President Dan Cathy is totally not gay.
There is a town called Bikinis, TX and I want to go there.
Maybe you should just shut up and make some peach cobbler this weekend?
78-year-old actor Fred Willard arrested at Los Angeles adult movie theater.
The Supercommittee is in trouble.
Police reopen the Natalie Wood drowning case.
Protesters occupied Paseo del Norte for more jobs.
Herman Cain is a leader not a reader.
Health care companies payed millions for direct Newt access.
A second experiment at CERN found subatomic particles moving faster than the speed of light.
Worst. Sandwich. Ever.
Sears lost $421 million last quarter.
People are already camping out for Black Friday.
How pizza became a vegetable.
Six reasons to stay away from hippos.
Teen Mom 2 season 2 trailer!
Who are the real job-creators?
Pilot accidently locks himself in the bathroom mid-flight, causing terror scare.
Probably not a good idea to inject the silicon you buy at Lowes to make your butt bigger.
Just how many coffins are being stored in Atlanta for a supposed high casualty event?
Top 10 inappropriate Sesame Street parody sketches.
The U.S. poverty rate jumps to a 52-year high.
People are excited about this woman I've never heard of running for Senate.
Michelle Bachmann claims HPV vaccine causes mental retardation. Must resist joke.
Arizona isn't getting enough attention these days.
Is it ironic that Ron Paul's campaign manager died of pneumonia, penniless and uninsured? Yeah, it is.
Atlanta vegans get life in prison for the starving death of their 6-week-old.
These are the next 12 terror threats to keep you up at night.
Disasters have been declared in all but two states so far this year.
Vladimir Putin = badass.
I guess I need this if I die app.
Kabletown Comcast is launching low-cost, high speed internet for poor families.
Watching Spongebob Squarepants makes your dumb kids dumber.
How is Tyler Perry the highest paid man in entertainment if I've never seen one of his movies?
You need naked men and horses to harvest marijuana in Kyrgyzstan.
Why doesn't anyone want to talk about Operation Northwoods?
The man who coined the term pop art dies at the age of 89.
Finally some good news for parents flying with children.
Let's take a tour through Egypt's Great Pyramid.
Consumer Reports notes an uptick in reports of glass bakeware exploding.
Ozzy Osbourne's music helps rescue autistic boy.
Playboy's October issue will have a cover price of 60¢.
Dwarf porn star eaten by a badger. You read that right: Dwarf porn star eaten by a badger.
Flooding could result in higher pumpkin prices this year.
Bartender fired for a 9/11 joke.
Confuse your grandpa with these hipster nicknames.
Those in power across the middle east continue to try and buy their citizens off
Bath Salts mimic the effects of cocaine and LSD. Really?
Speaking of wild drugs, who hasn't wanted to try snake venom?
After the venom, why not finally do this?
Cool slide show on mass movement of rural male Chinese to cities. Anyone who can give me a synonym for rural that starts w/ an M gets a kudo.
Fake Rahm Emanuel is even better than fake Andy Rooney on Twitter. If you start a week ago the feed reads kind of like Into The Wild w/ interns and baked beans.
Sunflower Market founder Michael Gilliland busted on suspicion of soliciting a minor for prostitution. Jeez.
Illinois ponzi scheme.
NY Post probably had the best cover depicting Mubarek resignation.
Sheep are smarter than.... smarter than you thought, anyway.
On this day in 1950, Einstein warned against the hydrogen bomb.
Need a job? The city needs bus drivers.
A teen with a machete gets the Taser treatment from APD.
A lawyer in Mississippi was thrown in jail for not saying the Pledge of Allegiance.
Year 10 of war in Afghanistan.
Soldiers and scientists may have figured out what's killing the honeybees.
A bill to help banks snuck through the Senate with no debate.
Very thin women make way more money.
Why does everyone hate the weather so much?
A Pakistani diplomat says President Obama exaggerated the terror threat to Europe.
Hispanics will likely vote Democrat this year.
Forbes named the first lady the most powerful woman in the world.
Toxic red sludge reached the mighty Danube in Hungary.
Got to read books by Mario Vargas Llosa. He just won the Nobel for literature.