Only a twitter bot can predict the future.
The suspected organizer of the terrorist attacks in Paris is reportedly killed.
A summation of anti-feminists to induce your daily rage.
Learn more about the history of lesbianism on the island of Nantucket.
Good Charlotte is back, thank Satan.
Morsels by Megan Foldenauer is deliciously lovely.
Where revenge porn and sex work intersect.
Take-out flu shots delivered by Uber? Alright.
After stopping a terrorist attack aboard a high-speed Euro train, three Americans and one Brit were awarded the Legion of Honor by the President of France.
Devastating fires in California and Washington are severely taxing firefighting resources, and making the New Mexican skies look more like Los Angeles.
In local fire-related news, firefighters were still trying to put out a blaze at a strip mall near Coors and Sequoia this morning hours after it was reported.
After reports of suicide linked to the Ashley Madison debacle, the company is offering a half a million dollar reward for information on the hackers.
Today is being called ' Black Monday,' as the global stock market heads straight down the toilet.
No one thought it could ever happen, but Slash and Axl have finally made up!
The city of Santa Fe is making it even tougher to find a place to take a leak.
After a divorce, who gets custody of the frozen embryos?
Though the Dow Jones may be making your 401K vanish, here are some tips to start your week off right!
Police ended a hostage crisis at a chocolate shop in Sydney, Australia.
In other Australian news, a shark killed a teenager.
Americans believe torture prevents acts of terrorism.
Speaking of torture, Karl Rove wants to feed your rectum.
An APD Officer accidentally shot a civilian on Sunday morning.
Seth Rogen is North Korea's biggest enemy.
The US is the most uncaring nation in the industrial world, and it's all Ayn Rand's fault.
Mother Nature screwed up the day for air travelers in San Francisco.
The liquid in E-ciagerettes is poisonous enough to kill a child.
The Dutch are not happy about Google's privacy violations through data collection.
Walt Disney died on this day back in 1966. He was 65. Here are some inspirational Disney quotes to get you through life or at least through the day.
Pakistan votes to normalize relations with India.
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says the banks didn't cause the financial crisis.
Hermain Cain doesn't seem to know that China has nuclear weapons.
Hooray! New Mexico is number one for overdose deaths. Oh wait …
Rick Perry wasn't drunk when he gave that drunk-sounding speech.
Kenyan Air Force uses Twitter to warn civilians their town is about to be bombed.
My sales manager really wants you to know about this Justin Bieber news.
Four members of a Georgia militia are accused of a terror plot.
Are ghosts having sex in this Ohio woman's house?
Prostate cancer found in 2,250 year-old-mummy
There's no escaping these new speed cameras.
An asteroid will pass between the Earth and the Moon next week.
So Metallica and Lou Reed released an album together. Sigh.
What is America's most acceptable prejudice?
The case for cheap wine.
When will little Adolf Hitler be returned to his parents?
Anne Rice says the vampires from Twilight are lame.
Thanks to Emily, Constance and John for the tips!
President Obama is rewriting No Child Left Behind.
Texas ends the ritual of a special last meal for death row inmates.
Scientists may have discovered faster than light particles.
Glowing kitty may further aid in AIDS research.
Early morning home invasion on the West Side.
The House passes a temporary spending bill, avoiding a government shutdown, for now.
The FBI is investigating mysterious "Arabic" graffiti on the underside of Southwest Airlines airplanes.
Is it worth it to pick your own apples?
A suspected member of LulzSec was arrested in Phoenix.
Scientists use science to explain near-death experiences!
Probably not a good idea to post your murder plans on Facebook.
Who doesn't love animated GIFs?
50 signs the world is coming to an end.
Spontaneous human combustion listed as cause of death of a 76-year-old man.
Chicken snack menus are the next front in the fast food wars.
Was Archduke Ferdinand's fate sealed because of cheese sandwich?
Someone is making a TV show based on musical chairs?
James Spader joined the cast of The Office.
President Obama and Texas Governor Rick Perry at odds over scheduled execution of a Mexican national.
Al-Qaida linked terrorist secretly brought to New York to stand trial.
Not many problems with illegal fireworks this year.
Roadwork on the west side begins today.
South Korea will host the 2018 Winter Olympics.
Did illegal immigrants cause a 100-mile-wide dust storm in Phoenix???
Biker dies from head injury while protesting helmet laws in New York.
The Anti-PowerPoint Party is Switzerland's newest political party. Can you guess what their agenda is?
New study shows environmental factors play a more important role in causing autism.
Behold, a landmark American tampon ad.
Ad for the new Kevin James movie digitally inserted into 2007 rerun of How I Met Your Mother.
Man tries to escape prison in his wife's suitcase.
Japan discovers huge deposit of rare earth minerals.
Top 10 cosmic album covers.
Monkey steals camera, takes the greatest self portrait ever.
Man sues to get his porn in prison.
The first cyborg horror story is 1834's The Steam Arm.
Your July financial to-do list.
McDonald's is test marketing an English Pub Burger.
Largest ever marsupial fossil discovered in Australia.
Former Albuquerque Mayor Martin Chavez will run for congress.
Air quality alert issued for Albuquerque, so don't breathe between 4 and 8 tonight.
Taliban attack luxury hotel in Kabul.
Hackers expose Arizona police officers personal info.
Albuquerque named one of America's most sedentary cities.
Michelle Bachmann and John Wayne Gacy have a lot in common.
The company behind FarmVille and Mafia Wars is preparing for an IPO.
Some sort of devil jumping over babies party in Spain.
Read all about the first meteorite recorded in Egypt.
This Princess Diana issue of Newsweek is not at all weird.
Bill Clinton: Brony.
The Daily Beast could only think of eight appalling things about The Bachelorette.
Finally, a combination elliptical machine/office desk chair, and it's only $8,000!
Do gay bars make money?
Florida fishermen catch a 23-foot squid.
Your 4th of July menu.
Hipster Lord of The Rings is awesome.
One hundred mummies from the 16th century found buried in an Italian church.
Should we dig up Shakespeare to see if he smoked pot?
The mothership is in London.
President Obama announced tonight that al Qaeda's former leader was killed after a firefight with Navy Seals. He confirmed Internet rumors that Osama bin Laden's body was in U.S. possession. Many Americans are rejoicing, especially at Ground Zero.
The president said killing bin Laden was among his first directives:
" ... Shortly after taking office, I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda, even as we continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle and defeat his network."
And he reminded viewers that the United States is not at war with Islam:
"I've made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murderer of Muslims. Indeed, al Qaeda has slaughtered scores of Muslims in many countries, including our own."
If you missed it, the full text of the president's speech is online.
Meet the man who may be in charge: Bin Laden's second in command, Ayman al-Zawahri, is a surgeon who was born in Egypt.
President Bush, other Republican politicians and notables from around the world react.
Howard Dean defends Obama's decision to attack
Lybia Libya: This time our government isn't lying to us.
South Dakota now requires a three day wait before an abortion.
Albuquerque is losing money on red light cameras.
Homeland Security says they could strip search every airline passenger if they wanted to.
13 illegal immigrants arrested in California wearing US Marine uniforms.
Seven black men shot and killed so far this year in Miami.
Another thing to worry about: the status of US nuclear spent-fuel storage.
Fox News is sending security guards do its war reporting.
The town of Bernalillo files suit against NM Gas Company to recover damages from last month's gas outages.
Santa Fe Police Chief Aric Wheeler is resigning from his position.
Maybe you should help James O'Keefe pay off his credit card debt.
Should you give money to homeless people?
Was God's wife edited from the Bible?
Finish those episodes of Dexter and Weeds quickly, Showtime won't be renewing it's contract with Netflix to stream them instantly.
Iran unveils its flying saucer to the world.
Elderly man stoned to death for making gay advance.
Beloved old-timey actress Elizabeth Taylor is dead at 79.
Whatever you do, don't take a picture of this guy's mohawk.
Someone found a 50-million-year old piece of lizard skin.
I'm not sure what to think about the costume for the new Wonder Woman TV show.
Barella redesigns its spaghetti box to announce it is redisgning its spaghetti box.
Is your blog among the 100 web sites the movie and music industry want shut down?
I guess yesterday's rumors of Charlie Sheen coming back to Two And A Half Men weren't true.
The Lord of the Rings is finally being released on Blu-Ray this summer (not that I have a Blu-Ray player).
For some reason I really identify with Paranoid Parrot.
Coming soon: Koala burgers.
Twenty-five police officer fails.
Seven supermarket rip-offs.
I haven't watched the Masters of the Universe in a long time, but I don't remember He-Man being all sweary.
Protesters outside an El Paso trial today say Luis Posada Carriles should face more serious charges than perjury and immigration fraud.
Albuquerque’s Answer Coalition traveled to Downtown El Paso to demonstrate this morning. Andy Beale, a member of the antiwar activist group, says turnout was great with around 40 or 50 people. They were successful in conveying their message, he adds: “Luis Posada is a terrorist, and he needs to be prosecuted for that.”
Posada, 82, is a former CIA agent who, for some, is a champion who stood against Fidel Castro. But Venezuelan Foreign Minister Nicolás Maduro calls him the bin Laden of the Americas. Noam Chomsky calls him a “world champion in international terrorism.” He’s said to have been involved in several bombings in Cuba in the late ’90s and a 1976 airplane bombing in which 73 passengers died, among other things.
His trial in El Paso today is about immigration fraud relating to his entrance into the United States via Mexico. He lives in Miami.
Despite the heated communism/terrorism debate, Answer Coalition’s Beale says today’s protest was entirely peaceful. A right-wing group of about 30 that supports Posada also demonstrated, he says, but there was no confrontation.
Water main break in the Heights last night.
For 18 minutes this April, China hijacked the internet.
Germany warns of terrorist attack.
Better stock up on your 4Loco before it's banned in New Mexico.
Amazing collection of animated gifs you won't find on 4chan.
Gizmodo obtains 100 leaked body scans.
I'm not sure what to think of this weird ring ufo.
Artifacts from King Richard II's tomb rediscovered.
The best moments from Sarah Palin's Alaska.
Only eight days until Thanksgiving.
dork loser psycho Harry Potter fan.
Los Cuates is going to open a restaurant at the Sunport.
Paleontologists in Pittsburgh reveal the worlds largest lungfish.
Hey nerds! Here's the trailer for the Green Lantern movie.
Two weeks after I buy this personal pie maker I will be dead.
Modern canning was invented 261 years ago today.
Bill Nye The Science Guy collapses during speech.
Bookmark this page for when McDonald's stops making the McRib.
Thieves steal $500 worth of toys from local preschool.
Someone is shooting at the Pentagon
Virginia 4th-grade textbook claims thousands of black soldiers fought for the South during the Civil War.
Clarence Thomas' wife calls Anita Hill to ask for an apology.
Saudi prince found guilty of manservant's murder.
New tree type is discovered in Honduras.
Secret Service agent admits he almost shot President Johnson shortly after President Kennedy was assassinated.
Why isn't anyone talking about the mystery creature in Sagami Bay?
Rob a McDonald's in Europe and you'll get spayed with DNA mist.
Turtle bones show that Antarctica was once a rain forest.
Want to eat tacos in your car but are afraid of making a mess? Maybe you need to start wearing a Drib.
Student Rickrolls professor with an essay.
Loosen your belts, McRib is back.
Burger King is launching Nacho Whopper, sadly it's only available in the Netherlands.
There's a new lady holding court. Supreme, yo.
And you thought your VW was shitty...
Parents name their kids the darndest things.
Woo hoo! Less terrorism.
Conservatives mess with a news site that isn't Fox.
People suck at spelling, study says.