V.23 No.51 | 12/18/2014
The Daily Word in Seth Rogen, angry Dutchmen, killer Zambonis, Walt Disney, and rectal feeding.
By Constance Moss [ Mon Dec 15 2014 11:13 AM ]
Police ended a hostage crisis at a chocolate shop in Sydney, Australia.
In other Australian news, a shark killed a teenager.
Americans believe torture prevents acts of terrorism.
Speaking of torture, Karl Rove wants to feed your rectum.
An APD Officer accidentally shot a civilian on Sunday morning.
Seth Rogen is North Korea's biggest enemy.
The US is the most uncaring nation in the industrial world, and it's all Ayn Rand's fault.
Mother Nature screwed up the day for air travelers in San Francisco.
The liquid in E-ciagerettes is poisonous enough to kill a child.
The Dutch are not happy about Google's privacy violations through data collection.
Walt Disney died on this day back in 1966. He was 65. Here are some inspirational Disney quotes to get you through life or at least through the day.
V.23 No.49 |
The Daily Word in no social security benefits for Nazis, an HBO Johnny Tapia documentary and outrageous details of torture
By Geoffrey Plant [ Tue Dec 9 2014 3:17 PM ]
The color of the year has been announced.
APD released another image of the man suspected of shooting my favorite 7-11 clerk this past weekend.
A former Nazi charged for his involvement in an infamous WWII massacre in France appears to be off the hook.
In other Nazi-related news, Congress has passed a law that will prevent former Nazis from recieving social security benefits.
All those allegations of torture and cruelty against terrorism suspects in the hands of Americans and their minions turn out to be true and worse than previously alleged according to a report just released.
A private company is winnowing the field of candidates for a one-way mission to Mars.
Check out Boing Boing's gift guide.
Afghanistan just harvested enough opium to equal 90 percent of the world's supply.
V.21 No.22 |
The Daily Word in tears, serpents and lucid dreams
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu May 31 2012 8:08 AM ]
Speculation on what killed Johnny Tapia
New Mexico's five corporate legislators
Meth-like bath salts may be to blame for attack of the Miami face-eater.
NYC looks to ban large sodas and sugary drinks.
"Sesame Street" composer reacts to news that his songs may have been used to torture people at Gitmo.
Buy salt made from human tears.
Serpent-handling pastor dies from a rattlesnake bite.
Porn star is suspected of murder and mailing body parts to the Conservative Party of Canada.
The rise of lucid dreaming
What it means to be gay in Iran
Supercars that go 200 mph
American nuns prepare a response to Vatican charges that they're radical feminists.
Your state in sandwich form
Nicolas Cage performs John Cage. Kinda.
V.21 No.2 | 1/12/2012
Webgame Wednesday: Ancient Greek Punishment
By Devin D. O’Leary [ Wed Jan 11 2012 12:05 PM ]
OK, so Ancient Greek Punishment is more of a conceptual joke than an actual game. Nonetheless, artist/programmer Pippin Barr has created a cheeky tribute to the tortures of the underworld done up in an old-school, Atari 2600 art style. Pick your character (Sisyphus? Tantalus? Prometheus?) and get to work. Follow the instructions and ... well, you'll get the picture pretty quickly. Keep in mind these minigames aren't quick. They take a long time to get through. Like all of eternity.
V.19 No.45 | 11/11/2010
The Daily Word: 11.4.10
By Laura Marrich [ Thu Nov 4 2010 12:29 PM ]
Yemen printer cartridge bomb was set to explode in 17 minutes.
Speaking of which, can you opt out of an airport body scan?
Banksy “flower bomber” stencil: best costume ever.
The volcano that killed 36 last week in Indonesia erupted again yesterday, only with “more force.”
The handsfree Kinect for Xbox 360 is out. Here’s a side-by-side comparison with PlayStation Move for PS3 and Nintendo’s Wii and MotionPlus .
Captivating photos of the Outlaw Motorcycle Club in the ’60s.
Did George W. Brush approve torture? "Damn right."
Rock and roll revelations from Keith Richards’ new book.
V.19 No.30 | 7/29/2010
Torture should go both ways at the dentist
By John Bear [ Thu Jul 22 2010 3:40 PM ]
I apparently have super teeth. The last time I went to the dentist, she said I had a cavity. That was more than a year ago. I never got it fixed and it has nagged at me ever since.
But I went to the dentist on Wednesday, a different one, and she found nothing.
Either I’m completely off target on this super teeth thing, or the last dentist was a sadist who wanted to perform unnecessary oral surgery on me.
In any case, I love telling torture jokes during routine teeth cleanings. Dentists hate it but I feel some sort of revenge is in order for having stranger’s hands in my mouth. Quid pro quo.
My personal favorite is called the “Marathon Man,” named after a movie starring Dustin Hoffman as a guy who gets tortured by a Nazi dentist. Always keen on paying homage to film as part of my daily routine, I asked the dentist to ask me “Is it safe?” before commencing with the poking and prodding.
She said it, perplexed, and I thanked her, explaining that it was a movie joke. My mouth feels squeaky clean this evening. Thanks, doc.
The dental assistant told me later as she gave me the cinnamon flavored industrial tooth scrubbing that the film “The Hangover” also has dental torture jokes. I told her I would rent it; she said I wouldn’t regret it. I think next time I’ll ask the dentist, “Is it safe?”
The other option is the “El Cirujano.” Ask your dentist if she or he has ever considered doing field work for the Central Intelligence Agency or express jealousy that they have such a cool fall back career. This actually got me tortured once during a filling. I should have asked for the Novocain.
When getting a cleaning, it can be fun to adlib pleas for mercy during the short times when there aren’t any metal objects in your mouth. A “please, no more, I beg of you,” will keep the doctor on his or her toes.
If you are playing the CIA game and feel like the dentist didn’t push down on the drill hard enough after the first wise crack, these adlibs can keep the game going. Try “We’re in for a long night, doc, because I don’t know shit,” or the classic, “You’re just going to have to kill me, doc.”
Take a crack at a bad Schwarzenegger accent. Be creative. Most important: Have fun. It’s your nickel.
This is a fun and inexpensive way to make that dental appointment a little more enjoyable. The dentist will probably hate it, but they’re getting paid. Don’t let them spoil your fun.
V.18 No.37 | 9/10/2009
Gooooo, Team Torture!
By Marisa Demarco [ Thu Sep 3 2009 9:13 AM ]
Wild Bill’s Crazy Film Festival at Tractor Brewery Wells Park
Blackout Theatre's “Gong Show”-style film fest in which all submissions will be shown—for a guaranteed total of two minutes. After that, it’s up to the mercy of the audience.
Spazz Out Tour: Riff Raff • rap at Launchpad
Family Fun & Garden Tour at Albuquerque Garden CenterMore Recommented Events ››