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V.23 No.22 | 5/29/2014
Andy Kindler has his doubts about your Twitter stardom.
Suan Maljan
Andy Kindler has his doubts about your Twitter stardom.

Comedy Matters

Andy Kindler on What Makes a Comic

Twitter can help launch a career, says Andy Kindler, but it sure as hell doesn’t make you a stand-up comic.
V.22 No.36 | 9/5/2013

New Mexico News

New Mexico News: Late August 2013

Inspired by Félix Fénéon's Novels in Three Lines, this feature presents news from New Mexico, briefly, written by author Mike Smith and illustrated by ¡Brapola!
V.22 No.34 | 8/22/2013

New Mexico News

New Mexico News: Early August 2013

Inspired by Félix Fénéon's Novels in Three Lines, this feature presents news from New Mexico, briefly, written by author Mike Smith and illustrated by ¡Brapola!
V.22 No.32 | 8/8/2013

New Mexico News

New Mexico News: July 2013

Every two weeks, author Mike Smith and artist ¡Brapola! will present their fait divers-meets-comic art print collaboration New Mexico News (with expanded online content) in the Alibi.
V.22 No.21 |

news

The Daily Word in Amanda Bynes' twitter rant, Navajos saying no to uranium and Buffalo man screwing the IRS

The Daily Word

Okay ... would not have wanted to be on Flight 132 this morning ...

Shootings in Chicago over the weekend leave six people dead.

Amanda Bynes wants to sue NYPD, and hopefully get a new hair stylist.

RIP Karleen Zetina ...

Is that uranium? Sorry, we can't do it ...

So, I know you've passed, but do you still need someone to file your taxes for you? The IRS won't know what's up.

"Breaking Bad" star Aaron Paul got married this weekend.

V.22 No.10 |

news

The Daily Word in book banning, disenfranchised Republicans and gun deaths

The Daily Word

A new election rule looks like it will make it harder for Republicans to become Mayor of Albuquerque, even when Dems split the vote.

And Republicans in Rio Rancho are also feeling disenfranchised.

That whole minimum wage law thing? We're still talking about it. Now the servers have their say.

New Mexico legislators are fighting about whether or not they should be allowed to ban books, especially ones about brown people.

2,635 people have died via gun violence since the Newtown massacre. At least.

Who doesn't love trolling celebrities on Twitter? Watch out, though, because sometimes Internet tough guys meet the real deal.

This just in: Kids everywhere love toys.

Pope? Nope.

Update: Smoke rises from the Sistine Chapel signifying that a new pope has been chosen.

V.21 No.45 | 11/8/2012

election

(Comic) Relief for Your “Raging Election”

Give your burning, breaking news ulcer a few moments of respite. For your Election Day amusement, a small compendium of comedian tweets:

@iamjohnoliver: If Mitt Romney wins the election tonight, the White House will be one of the smallest houses he's ever lived in.

@GregtheGrouch: My polling place smelled like fish sticks today.

@steveagee: Vote yes on prop These Nuts

@Hamptonyount: How much did it cost you guys to vote? I feel like I got a deal.

@JohnCleese: Presidential election today when we finally find out just how batty America is...

@jackiekashian: Andy, "I anticipate a happy ending. To my raging election."

@toddbarry: They don't make a sticker for what I did today.

@tedalexandro: Senior citizen volunteers overseeing newfangled computer voting machines? There's no way this could go wrong!

@birbigs: Today is Halloween for adults. Let's all pretend we live in a democracy. #VOTE

@friedmanjon: I just voted for some Kenyan guy. LOL!

@mileskahn: Does anyone know if Fox News is on suicide watch? I'm really worred about them.

@mitchfatel: Just released! Documents prove Obama is half black!

@DougBenson: I'd like to see four more years of BREAKING BAD. Can we vote for that?

@mileskahn: Nate Silver says there's a 95% chance that if Obama wins he's "so getting laid."

@JenKirkman: An old lady who lives at the senior place I'm voting in just yelled out her room "Shut up!" to a crying baby. She's prob a hologram of my future.

@aasif: Are you kidding me Florida?

@PaulScheer: Vote No on Prop 36 which requires everyone you know to have a podcast. #vote2012

@julieklausner: Putting on shoes, getting ready to vote. If they don't have stickers OR a sugar free lolly for me, I'm going to flip my shit.

@JoshSneed: Just stole a big roll of "I Voted" stickers when this guy wasn't looking in case anyone that just wants to be left alone needs one. 'Merica.

@EugeneMirman: The Internet isn't the only place to tell strangers they're idiots, you can yell at folks in voting lines or throw leftover CSA veggies too.

@thelovemaster: Interesting how they word proposition descriptions to spin u. Think I just saw 1 promising daily blow jobs. #gotmyvote

@aishatyler: Yes. Vote first. Game second. You can't save the universe from the Covenant menace if you haven't saved democracy first.

@Ruth_A_Buzzi: How can we vote when they haven't even done that part where we see them in their swim suits?

V.21 No.38 |

News

The Daily Word in icemelt, lacking luster and onstage freakouts

The Daily Word

A draft of a new study runs down a list of APD shortcomings, offers some solutions.

Are these signs of restive laborers in China?

Arctic sea ice has retreated to the lowest levels ever recorded.

"Dull," "silly," "ridiculous" and "lackluster": Welcome to the 2012 Emmy Awards!

Evaporative twihistory.

Last year's attacks on the Sinai Peninsula have yielded death penalty verdicts.

But rejecting lies is such hard work!

Pricey Port Authority boat sinking linked to human error, "like opening a window during a carwash."

The U.S. still can't seem to get young students interested in science, technology, engineering or math. Meanwhile, Congress voted against granting green cards to visiting foreign scholars in those fields.

Middle school scrapbooking club = urinalysis.

Venerable NYC altweekly chain sells its papers, holds on tight to adult services ads.

Methinks thou dost protest too much.

iHeart expletive-riddled stage rants.

"I want to go on living the uncensored dream, the free unconscious."

V.21 No.36 |

News

The Daily Word in the DNC, jobs, junk DNA, the environment and VMA fashions

The Daily Word

The decision between Barack and Mittens hinges on competing myths of the American consciousness.

Only 63.5% of Americans have a job or are looking for one.

Mittens savors the jobs report. More on that report and the great recession.

Nobody wants a PC; bad times for Intel.

New "iPhone 5" to be unveiled on Wednesday—what cool new extra will it offer?

Carbon-cutting in New Mexico may be done on a voluntary basis.

The coral reefs of the Caribbean are almost dead.

Arctic ice melting at an alarming rate. (Mittens mocks any concerns.)

Junk DNA is unveiling mysteries of the human body.

What does the use of "Tu" on Twitter (rather than the formal "Vous") mean for the French language?

Stainless steel appliances are passé—what's the next big trend?

Tips on booking a vacation.

A review of the fashions at last night's VMAs.

Weather: Highs in the low '90s today, dipping to the '70s tomorrow. Thunderstorms may happen through tomorrow. High temps cruise in the mid-'80s in the first half of next week.

V.20 No.48 |

News

The Daily Word in Pearl Harbor, occupied housing, Mumia and Justin Bieber

The Daily Word

It's the 70th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Surprisingly, the Japanese admiral who masterminded it didn't want to go to war in the first place.

Brick by brick, wall by wall, they freed dropped the death penalty on Mumia Abu-Jamal.

Occupiers succesfully "liberate" a forclosed house in Brooklyn.

U.S. health official overrules her own experts on the morning-after pill.

Four words that should never, never, never go together: Justin Bieber steampunk Christmas.

Four words that go suprisingly well together: DIY animatronic firebreathing pony.

Wrap your presents in hamburger.

BP says Halliburton destroyed evidence that makes them culpable in the Gulf oil spill.

Procatinator is your new best friend. Or it's trying to kill you. Whatever.

Former Albuquerque Pride director is headed to the White House.

Snapshots from Nick Brown's kids' school science fair.

Salvador Disney and other films that actually happened.

What the Interwebs were atwitter about in 2011.

There's a vaccine for Ebola now.

Great Danes love kittens.

Albuquerque thieves are after your toilet paper.

Florida thieves are after a romantic dinner at home.

Thanks to E.J., Nick and Sarah for the links!

V.20 No.27 |

news

The Daily Word where a dog bites Morrissey, Ron Paul Retires and there's Carmageddon in LA

The Daily Word

Republicans gave away the debt ceiling fight.

The House fails to pass the Bulb Act.

Americans are having fewer children.

The Westboro Baptist Church chickens out of protesting Betty Ford's funeral.

Bronze letters stolen from buildings in Belen.

Recall elections begin in Wisconsin.

OUTRAGE after Michelle Obama eats a hamburger.

Ron Paul is retiring from Congress to focus on losing his presidential election.

Why the dollar store is a ripoff.

Bring your protractors to Pittsburgh.

The National League wins the All-Star Game.

Some dog hates Morrissey almost as much as I do.

L.A. is preparing for Carmageddon.

I've been a Netflix member since 2000, and in that time they've never raised my rates, but what the hell Netflix?

Greatest headline ever.

RIP Sherwood Schwartz.

Best ever cover of They Might Be Giants' Istanbul (Not Constantinople).

The last know surviving dinosaur was the triceratops.

What is a derecho?

Front row on world's steepest roller coaster.

Five million 4chan posts visualized.

Richard Simmons discovers planking, but when will he master flanking?

Happy Birthday Bob Crane!!!

V.20 No.22 |

news

The Daily Word: Alec Baldwin for Mayor, Upgrade Your iPhone Today, Mass-Grave In Texas

The Daily Word

Wallow Fire is creeping towards the NM state line.

Connecticut became the 13th state to decriminalize marijuana.

Two dogs die after being left in hot Animal Welfare vehicle.

Conservative activist group puts fake eviction notices on Detroit homeowners' doors.

Margaret Thatcher won't meet with Sarah Palin.

The owner of Steins Ghost Town was found shot to death.

The Texas mass-grave that wasn't.

Speaker of the House John Boehner more than doubled his monthly expense account.

Long list of sports figures who claimed their Twitter was hacked.

E. Coli infections in Tennessee.

New deep space images from the VLT Survey Telescope.

Alec Baldwin is considering running for mayor of New York City.

How to upgrade your iPhone to iOS 5 today!

Australia's Department of Defense claims to have lost all of it's UFO files.

One out of four US hackers is a FBI informant.

Good news for the 23,322 bittorrenters accused of sharing The Expendables.

The most kissed girl in the world.

Why aren't airplane seats designed better?

Peanutweeter is the new Garfield Minus Garfield.

10 video game facts about the late Macho Man Randy Savage.

Happy birthday Joan Rivers!!!

V.20 No.18 |

news

The Daily Word: Enhanced Pat Downs, Neo-Nazis, Burger of the Future

The Daily Word

APS releases next year's budget, plans on cutting more than 400 jobs.

The man killed by APD yesterday was armed with a plastic kitchen spoon.

President Obama still enjoying the post-bin Laden assassination popularity boost.

Eight-month-old gets an enhanced pat-down at Kansas City airport.

Donald Trump doesn't know what the 13 stripes represent on the American flag.

Interesting visualization of the spread of Osama bin Laden death news thru twitter.

Ten-year-old kills his neo-nazi father.

Because sometimes it's better when your favorite TV show gets cancelled.

History of people who use the internet to convince others to commit suicide.

The truth about Groupon.

Let your kids eat some junk food already!

Man found living on roof of a Georgia Waffle House.

Read all about the Old Man of the Lake.

The most hipster state in the US is …

Are you fat enough for the new Triple Double Oreo?

Bristol Palin had surgery that gave her a new chin, but don't worry, it was for medical reasons.

Saddest mugshot ever.

Social networking cigarettes.

Slow motion video of some dudes playing with a six foot water balloon.

Equisetum is the oldest genus of land plant, over 100 million years old.

Soul Caliber 5 is coming next year.

The validity of the legal advice from Jay-Z's 99 Problems.

New retro-cartoon channel to launch 'soon.'

The burger of the future.

Who watches the Watchponies?

Happy Birthday Jeffrey Donovan!!!

V.20 No.12 | 3/24/2011

news

The Daily Word featuring Twitter growing up, Libya going crazy, South Park creators getting Mormon

The Daily Word

A New York Times photographer was taken hostage and sexually assaulted in Libya. She took some incredible photos.

Already, this ridiculous Libyan faux-conflict is already costing several billion dollars.

This man brought an open can of beer to his DWI court appearance.

The Quran is found “guilty,” burned in a Florida church.

Get ready for Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s Broadway musical “The Book of Mormon.”

People are signing an online petition to have Apple remove a “gay cure” app.

This Albuquerque man went in to cardiac arrest and later died after being tased by police.

So that’s where my WWII-era machine gun went...

This man was so pissed off that Taco Bell burritos went up in price, he started firing at police. They’re not real anyway, dude.

Stand by Me? These kids in Texas find a human skull while fishing.

OMG, it’s Twitter’s fifth birthday!

...And this N.C. historian is telling the story of the Civil War through Twitter.


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SLOW JEREMIAH/PORT ALICE11.29.2014