The jobs you have as a video game player... In Test Subject Complete, you're a tiny blob of fluid injected into an itty-bitty robotic power suit. Your job is to navigate a deadly-micro-organism-filled maze while a creepy mad scientist watches over you and chuckles. Hey, it's a living.

 

I'm no historian. I don't remember everything about the infamous Watergate break in. But I'm pretty sure it involved an elvish broadsword. The Watergate Game totally backs me up on this fact. At first a serious Zork-style text/point-and-click adventure game that casts you in the role of investigative journalist Bob Woodward, the game goes off the rails about the time the editor of the Washington post hands you that elvish broadsword. Hilarious, ridiculous and at times even historically accurate, The Watergate Game is something you must waste time on right away. Hint: I highly recommend taking Timothy Leary's drugs when you get the chance.

 

If I had a dollar for every time a traitorous monkey crashed my submarine and absconded with my magical crown from an ancient civilization, I'd be rich. That tired old scenario rears its head once again in Aqua Boy. You play the titular kid, swimming your way through a "Metroidvania"-style maze filled with danger and reward. Gather up weapons and equipment, fight off undersea threats, and go kick that monkey's ass.

 

Bugs are cool. If you agree (and you should), check out Arachnophilia. This spider-simulating game has you spinning webs in a tree in order to catch some tasty insects. You've got to eat bugs in order to keep your web fluid flowing. But watch out for the dangerous pests like bees and stage beetles, which can damage your web and even hurt you. Click on "facts" along the way to learn stuff about various insects. Entertaining and educational.

• Arachnocool (BrokenArrow) [ Thu Apr 25 2013 5:15 PM ]
  

 

A Small Talk at the Back of Beyond is an innovative short story game. In this sci-fi puzzler, you awake in the dark to an unfamiliar voice. About the only game mechanic you have available to you is your ability to talk. Start up a conversation and you might just figure out what the heck is going on here.

 

What kind of person mashes up a Japanese dating sim and dinosaurs? A crazy person, obviously. But that shouldn't stop you from checking out Jurassic Heart, a ridiculous, thunder lizard-themed game that has you trying to pick up on high-school-aged dinos. Of course, being a Japanese dating sim, it’s wordy as hell. But this short taste of the genre is good for a chuckle.

 

You are a monkey and you work for a horrible boss and you get paid peanuts: Now as true in video games as in real life. In the puzzle platformer Super Stock Take you are a simian stockboy working in the warehouse answering to the whims of a blowhard boss. Jump here, grab that, retrieve this. The key here is your ability to pick up and move large boxes, which you'll need to do a lot of to reach your goals. Move quick, though, you make more peanuts the faster you solve the puzzles. Yeah, peanuts!

 

Piranhas are some dangerous fish, man. Particularly if you're a balloon. Or a disco ball. OK, so I can't full explain the concept behind Piranha Pop, but it goes something like this: Use your mouse to aim the piranha, hold down the button to charge it up, and then fire it into the air. The object of this oddball cannon physics game is to bust as many balloons as possible in the air, while still taking down that pesky disco ball. The fewer fish you fire, the better. Chomp away, disco-hating fish, chomp away!

 

Hopagon is a one-button platforming-style game. You play a small, smiling block who must jump (or, in the parlance, "hop") over larger, frowning blocks. Sounds simple, no? Since you've only got one button to mash, though, this game isn't going to make it easy on you. Your jumping must be incredibly precise to get through each fast-paced, seconds-long level. What are you waiting for? Get hopping!

 

Girls like robots. The cool ones, anyway. This fact is proven by the new Adult Swim game Girls Like Robots: Nerdfest. It's really just a mini version of PopCannibal's popular mobile gaming series. But this cute 'n' cartoony puzzle game is worth checking out in any form. Your object is to seat people at various events. You must follow certain rules, however. Girls, for example, like to sit next to robots. They don't like to sit next to nerds. (Sorry, nerds.) Nerds don't like sitting next to other nerds. Figure out the proper seating chart and it's on to the next puzzle. Nerds!

 

Is Art Game a game, a joke, an experience, a comment on the modern art scene, all of the above? Yes. You start by choosing your artist, a male or a female, and then leaping head-first into the cutthroat world of modern art. First, you must create your minimalist masterpieces. This is accomplished though a mini-game whose mechanics should be familiar to longtime gamers. Next, you've got to choose the paintings for your exhibit. Will it be a success or a failure? Oh, fickle muse!

 

In the innovative, experimental game 400 Years, you play a big-headed, kind-hearted dude who just wants to save the world. But you've only got 400 years in which to pull it off. Sounds pretty easy, huh? Unfortunately, you'll be doing it through the unusual mechanic of time manipulation. You have the ability to speed the clock, forcing the world to race through the seasons, letting years zip by at the touch of a button. Need a lake to freeze over, so you can walk across it? Just wait until winter. Need a tree to grow to climb higher? Just wait a few years. Suddenly 400 years seems kinda short. You'll spend a lot of time standing around waiting in this unusual game, so patience is something of a virtue. What are you waiting for? Get to waiting.

 

Nitrome, one of the Internet's leading developers of awesome free games has released its newest, Plunger. You control a cute robot thing equipped with four directional plungers. Shoot the plungers vertically or horizontally to navigate a maze. Connect various electrical points with your plunger lines and you move on to the next level. This game's unique control scheme makes it a real standout in the platformer category. Just be on the lookout for the game's increasing hazards.

 

Sometimes fast is good. Sometimes red is bad. As true in real life as it is in the zippy action platformer Fae. Jump your little ... head-thing around a maze of platforms and walls. Don't touch anything that's red. And get a move on, this is a race against time, people!

 

Sometimes you just want to play cowboy, but your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/roommate/parents/dog just look at you funny when start wearing chaps and a ten-gallon hat around the house. Might I suggest giving the new Adult Swim video game Westerado a shot instead. This gorgeous 16-bits-style Western-style action RPG is shockingly expansive. You play a red-clad gunslinger looking to find the man who killed your family. Get jobs, question townspeople, fight bandits, wrangle buffalo. Along the way, you'll gather clues as to the killer's identity. A wide variety of tasks and a sly sense of humor make this a blast to play. Just watch where you point that six-shooter, partner.