V.22 No.49 | 12/5/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Shopping Cart Hero
The Christmas shopping season has officially begun. The day after Thanksgiving, known to all as the dreaded Black Friday, is fast approaching. Why not avoid the consumer rampage all together? How about repurposing that shopping cart? Shopping Cart Hero offers a fine, if dangerous, suggestion. Why not push it down a hill, leap into the basket and fly off a cliff to your very probable death? Shopping Cart Hero gives you points for just such an activity. It also lets you customize your shopping cart for maximum distance and style. So much better than shoving it around a Walmart parking lot.
V.22 No.45 | 11/7/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Nostalgic Chainsaws from Hell
Nostalgic Chainsaws from Hell sounds like fun, doesn't it? The game is a maze-crazed puzzler that has you navigating the seven circles of Hell in order to piece together your sinful past. Watch out for ... well, everything. Everything in this game will kill you. You will die a lot. But the art is cute.
V.22 No.44 | 10/31/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Midnight Massacre
Halloween is here, so let's make with the monsters and stuff. Midnight Massacre finds you trapped in a theater with all sorts of werewolves, mummies, ghouls and the like. Use your handy shotgun to dispatch them. But try not to blow the heads off the innocent victims. Good. Now reload, because there's plenty more where that came from.
V.22 No.43 | 10/24/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Pants or No Pants?
I love Scotch. Also Will Ferrell's Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Who doesn't? It's terribly exciting news that a sequel, Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, hits theaters on Dec. 20. Producers are pumping up expectations with a series of nutty Dodge commercials and an online game or two. Check out Pants or No Pants, where you'll be quizzed as to whether your favorite anchorman Ron Burgundy is wearing pants or not underneath his news desk. That's pretty much it: Pants or no pants. But it's good for a giggle or two on a mirthless afternoon at the office.
V.22 No.38 | 9/19/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Neonball
In the arcade puzzler Neonball you must bounce the titular object through a maze toward an exit point, while avoiding lasers and other obstacles. Apparently passing the test gives you the right to live in Neoncity ... or something to that effect. What are you waiting for, citizen? Get to bouncing.
V.22 No.37 | 9/12/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Pause Ahead
Pause Ahead is a punishing run-and-jump puzzle platformer with an inventive twist. At any given time, you can pause the game, freezing the assorted deadly obstacles (buzzsaws, spikes, monsters, etc.) in their tracks. Your character, however, maintains whatever momentum he had prior to the pause. The kick is that you can't control him during the pause. He just keeps flying along—hopefully not into the arms of another deadly trap. The objective is to get though the levels as quickly as possible. It's kinda like Super Mario Bros. on speed. Better have your fast-twitch reflexes honed for this one.
V.22 No.36 | 9/5/2013
Webgame Wednesday: That's My Moon
That's My Moon has you defending a tiny ball of rock that's being constantly bombarded by meteors and missiles. Sort of a stationary version of Asteroids, the colorful game has you blasting shots, nonstop, into space in an attempt to survive just a little bit longer. Hit the missiles and you can grab up some coinage as well. That's valuable when you want to upgrade your weapons and even your moon itself. An ever-increasing selection of powers keeps this arcade-style shooter evolving and involving.
V.22 No.35 | 8/29/2013
Webgame Wednesday. Snowden's Leaks: The Game
Last time we checked NSA leaker Edward Snowden was still hunkered down in Russia doing the political asylum thing. No matter what your political bent on this particular story, I'm sure we can all agree it would be more digestible in video game form. Snowden's Leaks: The Game may not teach us all that much about our government's use of secret internet searches, but it does offer some nifty, Elevator Action-style arcade fun. Download the secrets, avoid the CIA men, toss stuff out windows: Now that's some good whistleblowing.
Webgame Wednesday on Thursday: The Blue Beanie
The Blue Beanie is a lovely little point-and-click adventure combining photographic backdrops and animated figures. You are a squishy little forest critter whose beloved blue beanie has been stolen. Navigate the odd landscapes to recover it. This one requires some puzzle-solving skills and a tiny bit of arcade action.
V.22 No.33 | 8/15/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Daymare Cat
Daymare Cat is the work of Flash game innovator Mateusz Skutnik (the gorgeous Submachine series). In this one, you're asked to enter a lovely, pen-and-ink kingdom.
V.22 No.32 | 8/8/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Adventure Time Game Creator
Cartoon Network's "Adventure Time" is the greatest cartoon on TV right now because it totally is. Now shut up. The folks at Cartoon Network have pumped out tons of cool "Adventure Time" games over the years. Now you can actually manufacture your own. The Adventure Time Game Creator allows you to choose settings, backgrounds, characters and so much more to build your own platform-style action game. Each character (from Flame Princess to Ice King) has his or her own set of powers and weaknesses. Set up traps, monsters and other obstacles to challenge them. If you aren't feeling all that creative, you can always try out the hundreds of levels that have been submitted by other fans. Slamacow!
V.22 No.31 | 8/1/2013
Webgame Wednesday on Thursday: Colourblind
Colourblind is a beautifully rendered side-scroller. The object of this mostly monochromatic game is ... well, the subtitle kind of sums it up: Right Eye vs. the Dusty Pirate Clouds from Industrial Landscapes. You play an eyeball (presumably the right one) whose eyeball girlfriend (presumably the left one) has been kidnapped by gloomy clouds. Jump around, avoid the hazards, but make careful use of the colored paintbrushes scattered around. You can only see one color at a time. Colors result in platforms, barricades, spikes and other game field features. Some are helpful, some are not. And those damn clouds can wash away your color with one well-timed downpour.
V.22 No.27 | 7/4/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Gotham Streets
'Member Spy Hunter? Gotham Streets takes the same basic drive-and-shoot mechanics from that old arcade classic and dresses them up, sueprhero-style. It's an adaptation of Cartoon Network's new series "Beware the Batman," which revives the Dark Knight in a retro, gangster setting. Who doesn't want to drive the Batmobile?
V.22 No.26 | 6/27/2013
Webgame Wednesday: Soundodger
In Soundodger, you must, well, dodge sounds. This innovative mix of Dance Dance Revolution and Asteroids uses songs to create waves of needle-like enemies. Move your mouse around these patterned barrages to avoid getting poked. Tense and soothing at the same time, this games plays as good as it sounds.
Webgame Wednesday: Candy Box
Candy Box is causing an interweb stir for its old (old) school look and unusual game play. Surf on over to the game's homepage and you'll be greeted with information on your mounting candy supply. You can click a button to eat all the candies if you want, but that appears to be your only method of interaction with the game. What gives? Have a little patience, my friend. Leave your browser open, let those candies accumulate, and the game's possibilities will open up for you. Soon you'll be harvesting lollipops, buying weapons and fighting monsters. This oddball, text-only (with occasional ASCII art) adventure/resource management game grows bigger and bigger the longer you play. Plus it really makes you want some candy.
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