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The Daily Word in equestrian milkshakes, copulating crabs, inebriated apes

Grand jury clears cop who fatally shot a man. Historically, it’s not surprising.

Kentucky Derby winner’s owner has been accused of drugging his horses.

Trash on your sidewalk?

Jon Stewart on the Prez’ gay marriage stance.

The guy who was accused of shooting a speeding-ticket van in Santa Fe got released.

Wi-Fi disabling wallpaper.

Further proof on why Florida sucks.

And why Texas also sucks.

And why Germany doesn’t.

It’s horseshoe crab orgy season!

Pescatarian pink slime.

South African apes like getting hammered and messing with stupid tourists.

This 70-year-old who claims to be a virgin is awesome, and also batshit crazy.

Robutts.

Beastie Boys “Chappelle Show” video you probably haven’t seen.

news

The Daily Word in poo tattoo, suspension for Suh, Germany inseminating you

Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik gets no jail time after being declared insane.

Researchers find two pits next to Stonehenge that may have been used in ancient ceremonies.

The NFL suspends DT Ndamukong Suh for two games without pay after stomping a player’s arm.

First Yellow No. 5 waged war against your sperm count, now laptop wi-fi?

Get revenge on your unfaithful partner by tattooing a steaming pile of poo on their back.

Restaurants will now be able to certify the seafood you’re eating using DNA technology.

There could be a 7 percent internet sales tax for New Mexicans on purchases made online.

The German Family Minister wants to improve the country’s birthrate by offering artificial insemination to childless couples.

If you accidentally donate your entire life’s savings to Goodwill, at least you have good karma coming.

Researchers in the Netherlands are studying why going somewhere feels longer than coming back.

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