Uhps, sorry, you're pregnant.
If I ever buy a ferret in place of a dog just slap me.
John Wesley Coleman ladies and gentlemen.
Is Gawker a right wing.
An appropriate Thatcher obit.
Thatcher obits are going to keep coming, get used to it.
Nothing compares to a Caddyshack supreme court reference.
Somebody put together a collection of Let's Make a Deal prizes by make.
On this day in 1937 Carl Perkins was born.
Albuquerque restauranteur's decision not to pay the new minimum wage has sparked a call to boycott the business.
Some high ranking APD cops are the subjects of a new internal affairs investigation.
Documentary about the file-sharing site Pirate Bay premieres Friday.
Assange for Senator? Interesting new interview with the Wikileaks founder.
There was a diamond heist in Brussels.
Are drones armed with shotguns and grenade launchers and operated by local police departments in our terrible and absurd future?
It appears the Chinese military is responsible for a great amount of cyber espionage world wide.
A funeral home sent a family their loved one’s brain in a bag. Court says they can’t sue.
Maximum sentence for a driver who killed a cyclist in January: 90 days in jail, $300 fine.
Syrian army agrees to a ceasefire from Friday to Monday.
Hurricane Sandy is heading our way.
WikiLeaks is releasing the U.S. policies on detaining people in camps and GitMo. The website hacked them from the DOD.
Chinese artist Ai Weiwei goes Gangnam style.
Why it’s so hard to fire a police officer.
Bullied teen throws herself in front of a train.
7-year-old girl writes an opera.
Legalizing marijuana is on the ballot in Washington, Colorado and Oregon.
Rape is rape, says the president.
Don’t worry about convicted sex offenders this Halloween. They’ve got a curfew.
Last-minute DIY Halloween costumes.
Nirvana, the Broadway musical.
Call the State Police instead: Rio Arriba County Sheriff's department will no longer be open after eight pm.
A typo and confusion over the ballot process may prevent Burquenos from voting on a minimum wage hike.
Students in China's Jiangsu province say they are being forced to manufacture the iPhone 5.
R.E.M. doesn't like the "puff adder brand of reportage" at Fox News.
The mystery of the "West Seattle hum" is solved.
People are on edge about circumcision in Germany.
Wells Fargo fired a man for using a fake dime at a laundromat 49 years ago.
Gah! Bed bugs in the literature section.
Larry Flynt is offering one million dollars to anyone who produces Mitt Romney's tax records.
Oldest Ford in existence is up for auction.
On this day in 1958, Runaway Lita Ford was born.
All of the fireworks in San Diego's big show accidentally went off at once. (This has never happened to the Big Bay Boom before.)
In the Dirt City, plenty of people flipped a sparkly middle finger to fire restrictions.
We've entered monsoon season.
Apple is working on a mini-iPad. No, dummy, not an iPhone.
Government confirms: Mermaids are not real.
Fukushima disaster was the result of collusion, says expert panel.
Did you know Hannah Montana makes a raccoon repellent?
Lifeguard in Florida fired for trying to save a drowning swimmer.
Wikileaks releases 2.5 million emails from Syria.
Physicists find key to the universe.
How to take care of your vinyl in the heat.
India's going to give its citizens free medication.
Mitt Romney may pick a woman to be his running mate.
"Like a Virgin" moves Madonna to tears during a concert.
Former Liberian president Charles Taylor was sentenced to 50 years in prison for “heinous and brutal” war crimes.
The seemingly endless GOP presidential nomination season ends with Mitt as the last one standing. He celebrates with Donald Trump.
Governor Susana Martinez is scheduled to return from California today after attending private PAC fundraisers. Susana PAC has almost a million dollars in its coffers, which the guv aims to use in key state legislative races.
Wikileaks’ Julian Assange still has a little time left to fight Swedish extradition charges, although he lost his latest appeal.
In a split decision, the state Supreme Court upheld the Guild Cinema's conviction for violating a city ordinance prohibiting adult film screenings, which the theater argues infringed on free speech rights.
War veterans make stops in New Mexico as they bike across the country to raise awareness about many serious issues that face returning service members.
Roger Federer broke grand slam records with his most recent win at the French Open, while Novak Djokovic successfully battled into the third round.
Notorious cult leader and mass murderer Charles Manson could have ties to unsolved cases in the L.A. area.
The 17-year-old who police say is responsible for the Ohio high school shooting posted a creepy Facebook rant weeks before.
GOP hopefuls Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney are pretty much tied heading in to the Michigan primary.
Cambridge University says Stephen Hawking visited a California swingers’ sex club.
What’s the worlwide, widespread, cover-your-mouth epidemic for the new year? Bat Flu.
I can’t think of much worse things than getting dumped on by an airplane’s lavatory leak.
A small, child-size part of me died when I discovered Berenstain Bears co-creator Jan Berenstain died.
A deer in Ohio saves the day when it interferes with a man choking a woman with purse straps.
According to Julian Assange’s newest Wikileak, officials in Pakistan knew where Osama Bin Laden was.
The Leap Year, explained.
You, too, can now bid on a pair of Jeremy Lin’s old boxer briefs on eBay.
Virginia resident Hank the Cat hopes to earn your vote for the Senate in promising “milk in every bowl.”
Thanks to Emily for some of today’s links.
According to an FBI spokeswoman, 5 students were injured when a classmate opened fire at an Ohio high school.
New Mexico National Guardsman Anthony Baldonado faces murder charges after a shooting over the weekend.
Mayor Berry works on plans to revamp Route 66.
The Bracket Big Board says that despite last week's losses, the Lobos are still a huge threat in the NCAA tournament.
Japanese astronaut built tiny LEGO space station while inside of the real space station.
Ever wondered what's actually written inside those Oscar envelopes?
Napolese man pronounced shortest in human history.
Pediatricians now recommend HPV vaccine for pre-teen boys.
WikiLeaks has published 5 million new super-secret e-mails.
I lose stuff all the time, but I've never lost $49K worth of exotic, venomous creatures.
I mishear things all the time, but I've never mistaken “Mom on board” for “bomb on board.”
Is that a 19-inch TV in your pants, or are you just excited to see me? Minnesota man caught with stolen 19-inch TV in his pants.
Kids reenact of the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Libya continues to celebrate liberation as Gaddafi remains unburied.
ICE agent declares "the warrant [came] out of my balls."
Presbyterian opens first full-service hospital in Rio Rancho.
WikiLeaks suspends secret-spilling to focus on making more money.
Woman arrested for stealing a bagel shop cash register that contained exactly one quarter.
6,810 bottles of wine and champagne come crashing to the floor at discount liquor store.
Diabetes is not a joke, but it does make for some amusing billboard graffiti.
Today is going to be a crappy day. Life is full of too many problems.
Get your daily puppy fix.
Mmmm. Pumpkin Monkey Bread.
Some more little known facts.
Does anybody else find these real-life Disney princess pictures sort of creepy?
Thanks to T-fame and N-C-Double-Brown for the contributing links.
Fireworks fails (video collection!)
Silver City's Penny Park burned, again.
Los Alamos residents may return home!
Here's what the Reflecting Pool in Washington Monument looks like this Fourth of July weekend. "It's kind of gross right now."
Miss Honeywell. "She'd make a good personal assistant to a sales manager."
German Neo-Nazi codes.
Newlywed Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in Canada for Canada Day.
Some Quebecois aren't fond of the royals.
Yellowstone River oil spill.
Pairing wine with doughnuts, Spaghetti-O's and other crap.
Happy belated birthday, Lindsay Lohan.
Osama Bin Laden News Roundup:
The White House updates the narrative on how Osama Bin Laden was killed.
Federal prosecutors will seek to dismiss all charges against Bin Laden.
Bin Laden had 500 Euros sewn into his clothes for a quick escape.
Wikileaks reveals that in 2008, US troops were 1,800 yards from Bin Laden, training Pakistanis how to catch him.
Steven Colbert tracks the politicization of Bin Laden's death.
It's been 3 days since Bin Laden was killed, time for some conspiracy theories and memes.
A state health department administrator has been arrested for driving drunk in a government vehicle.
People are complaining about the low graduation rate among Lottery scholarship recipients.
John Ashcroft is Blackwater's new ethics chief. What's another word for irony?
Giant ant fossil discovered in Wyoming.
The top 10 Chinese tech moguls you need to know.
Don't get fooled by this Apple malware.
Ethically dubious ways to getting the perfect seat on your next flight.
How bacon can turn a vegetarian.
Watch the Insane Clown Posse review Water For Elephants.
Judge rules IP addresses aren't people, blocking subpoenas.
The unknown mysteries of the Mysteries of the Unknown commercial.
Rick Springfield arrested on DUI suspicion.
Top 10 evil lairs.
Today is Star Wars Day: May the 4th be with you! GET IT?????
Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, you'll need limes.
South Korean man found dead on a crucifix.
Delivery man shames bad tippers on his blog.
This exists: The internet's most comprehensive examination of the watches worn by Fox Mulder on TV's The X-Files.
Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos and eight other celebrity-based cartoons from the 80s and 90s.
Soon, almost every Marvel cartoon show will be available to watch instantly on Netflix.
The White House plans to release at least one Osama bin Laden death photo.
Bin Laden’s kind of like that Saw killer; one more video made shortly before his death is expected to surface.
WikiLeaks reveals a rumor in which Al Qaeda has hidden a nuclear bomb in Europe to detonate in the event of bin Laden’s capture.
Scott Pelley takes Katie Couric’s old seat as the anchor of “CBS Evening News.”
The hackers of Sony’s PlayStation Network have hit a second online service, exposing 25 million more accounts.
This pissed off customer gets even with Sears by attacking police with a weed whacker.
An airplane passenger is arrested after placing his hand up a flight attendant’s skirt.
Paris Hilton’s Hollywood Hills home is available to rent for a cool $20,000 a month.
Two dogs survive a 175-foot slide off of a cliff.
This middle school teacher shaves for the first time since 9/11, vowing to grow a beard until bin Laden was caught.
The Post Office’s Statue of Libery stamp turns out to be a picture of the fake Las Vegas one at New York-New York Hotel and Casino.
The man who started this revolution is being assassinated every day.
P.K. Dick fans hate movies based on his books.
Bold smuggler caught at one of the world's premier interdiction points.
NYC drivers still park like assholes.
This week's TSG mugshots.
This is where the don't ask don't tell repeal is. 60 days late and a bathrobe short.
On this day in 1995 the remains of the missing members of the Romanov family were exhumed in Yekaterinburg.
Senator Jeff Bingaman announced his retirement. It's going to be like amphetamine musical chairs when he vacates his seat.
House republicans pass bill to implement enormous spending cuts. Hey Boehner, read my lips: "VETO."
Forest Service is afraid people will fall into holes in the Sandia mountains.
The dumbing down continues. Victim: The Dewey Decimal System.
Protesters are being killed, arrested and intimidated in Lybia, Iran, Yemen. NY Times Blog.
Speaking of intimidation, this Senate bill would make the publishing of classified information a felony.
By the way: despite popular opinion, Wikileaks has revealed a ton of important information that the hoi polloi didn't know before.
Breaking news regarding sharks.
Wild mug shot of suspected catalytic converter criminal.
Turn back the hands of time with Matt Groening's Father's 1969 short film "Basic Brown, Basic Blue."
Today is Cracker Jack Day. On this day in 1912, the first prize was placed in a box of Cracker Jack.
Former Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has a drug problem. The drug? The power of being governor.
Fuck love! Iran bans production of all Valentine’s Day gifts.
Ricky Gervais hit the ball out of the park with his snide satire hosting the Golden Globes.
Protests and civil unrest are ripping Tunisia apart.
WikiLeaks strikes again; Julian Assange to release the tax info of 2,000 very wealthy people.
Dick Cheney says Obama has “learned from experience” that the Bush policies were right. I’ve “learned from experience” that Cheney is still an idiot.
Holy Jurassic Park! A team of scientists are trying to clone and bring back the extinct mammoth.
TV personality Regis Philbin is finally calling it quits at age 79.
The Supreme Court rejects an appeal from opponents of D.C.’s same-sex marriage law.
Chihuahua vs. Owl: The Battle for World Domination.
A California city considers posting drunk drivers’ mug shots on Facebook.