Alibi V.15 No.46 • Nov 16-22, 2006 

Music to Your Ears

I'm Dreaming of a Hot, Black Christmas--Every couple I know has a list. Not the double-checked Christmas variety with presents and candy canes and good will toward men, mind you. I'm talking about a list of celebrities that, if you happened to meet and the celebrity in question was actually inclined, you'd be allowed to toss your wedding ring out the window for 15 minutes of fame, free and clear. If you know what I mean.

Who's on my list? I will tell you that I've got a whole subsection devoted to musicians I idolized as a teenager. Which means aging rockstars. Billy Idol is a candidate, despite the fact he's developed a leather face. And even though he's not five-and-a-half feet of pure muscle anymore, Glenn Danzig is on there, too.

It's mostly a joke. The only lips I intend to lock belong to the same person I've made out with for the past three years. And I'm not going to use my press badge to gain access to the Sunshine Theater green room when Glenn rolls through this Sunday, Nov. 26.

I will, however, try to use my media powers to secure a free version of his new limited-edition line of action figures, the "3 Faces of Danzig."

These things are awesome. The series includes three fully articulated figures, each representing the Evil Beefy One in a different stage of his musical development. The Misfits-Danzig comes with a sculpted devil's lock hairdo and the skull-and-crossbones T-shirt from the Walk Among Us album cover. Samhain-Danzig is shirtless and dripping with blood (in reference to the Initium LP cover). Danzig-Danzig is bare-chested, of course, and comes complete with his trademark belt buckle and upside-down-cross medallion necklace, as he appears on the Lucifuge album.

The figures are manufactured by the Japanese company Medicom and sold in the U.S. for about $75 a piece. It's a small price to pay for such a small, sexy man. You can find the "3 Faces of Danzig" at Spencer Gifts, Hot Topic, various comic book and collectibles stores, and on the U.S. distributor's website, www.chasershirts.com.