Music to Your Ears
By Laura Marrich
Free Ozzy—The Prince of F***ing Darkness is cashing in on another run of Ozzfest, which includes a July 26 stop at Journal Pavilion. Fourteen uneven years after its debut, hope that this festival could retain more integrity than a fatted cash cow seems soundly, painfully extinguished—not least of all by the festival's pandering to "murderous clown" acts like Slipknot. But fans of the Bewildered Evil One have some redeeming incentives to come out this time. (I mean, besides the spectacle of Ozzy's stage handlers dousing his crotch with water at regular intervals ... No sir, no cover for incontinence there!)
One major distinction is that Ozzy is scheduled to perform all of the dates, and he'll be joined by longtime collaborator and guitarist Zakk Wylde. Plus, more than a few Internet rumors are pegging Black Sabbath for another reunion sometime next year. If that's true, Ozzy should be tightening up (musically and physically) right now to prepare for it, which means a better Ozzfest performance for you. And, best of all, with just a little legwork, you'll be able to get into Ozzfest for free this year. You heard right—free and legal! That should remove some of the sting from paying $9 for beer in a plastic cup.
This is how it works: Ozzfest is planting codes on specially marked products (Monster energy drink four-packs and copies of Ozzy's new Black Rain album are the most noteworthy) and online at www.livenation.com/ozzfest. Grab yourself a code, then log on to livenation.com/ozzfest anytime after June 12. Enter your info and you'll score a free pair of tickets to download and print. Not too painful, eh? I didn't think so, either—until the Ozzfest promotions people sent me five pages of single-spaced frequently asked questions (FAQs), brimming with overwrought gems like:
Q: I don't have a printer! What can I do?
A: [...] If you don't have a printer at home, you can go to a friend's house, your school, a library or a place like Kinko's to print your tickets.
But seriously, the sign-up is minimal, the free tickets appear to be legit and the Albuquerque lineup—which includes Nick Oliveri and the Mondo Generator, Lamb of God and Hatebreed—is mercifully short on bullshit. (And if you happen to like bullshit, Finnish codpiece-wearers Lordi will spew it in majestic quantities from flame-throwing wireless microphones. So you're covered there.) Log on to www.livenation.com/ozzfest for all the details.
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