alibi online
Free Will AstrologyAlibi's Personals

Flyer on the Web Post yours here
See more flyers here

KRS ONE
KRS ONE
10.2.2014
Techari
Techari
10.3.2014
NED GARTHE EXPLOSION
NED GARTHE EXPLOSION
10.4.2014
YOU/HANTA/BK BEATS
YOU/HANTA/BK BEATS
10.4.2014
BIOME/CRIX SAIZ/WESTY
BIOME/CRIX SAIZ/WESTY
10.9.2014
EX HEX & SPEEDY ORTIZ
EX HEX & SPEEDY ORTIZ
10.10.2014
 
 
 V.19 No.50 | December 16 - 22, 2010 

Aural Fixation

Jingle Pets

When music and puppies are used for evil

Puppies in Stockings with note behind saying ‘A Christmas HELL!’

After my last article expounding the joys of an Elvis Christmas, I received dozens of responses (mostly from my cousin Dana) asking for more holiday recommendations. I don’t actually know of much Christmas music that is bearable, so I looked to the Internet for help. My fingers hovered over the keys as I dreamed of the perfect search criteria, until I was struck with a terrible impulse. The cynic in me was already screaming no and railing against the idea as I clicked out “dogs sing Christmas music.” Google yielded more than 20 million resultsI found the best one. I’m going to spend the next three weeks holed up in my tiny apartment, ordering pizza and watching “Jingle Pet Song” on YouTube over and over until my eyes swell shut.

Someone has put fuzzy puppies in little fuzzy red Santa outfits. Puppies, you guys! Really chubby, fluffy ones! The puppies waddle around on fake snow, roll over each other and stand on their hind legs with their front paws waving aimlessly in the air. The video’s creator has sampled puppy yelps, barks and whines, and mixed them over a holiday song medley that sounds like it was composed with a slide whistle and the “big band” preset button on a Casio. Some of the animal sounds match the melody and some don’t, just squeaking along arbitrarilyindicating that there are people who just love the sound of whining puppies and want to hear it all the time. Every once in awhile a shot of a kitty wearing a stocking hat is thrown in with a shrill “meow” to keep the cat fanciers hooked.

Play Youtube Video
“Jingle Pets” annoys you into a holiday mood.

Does this sound awesome? I’m not even done. The snugly songsters belch out little bubbles, musical notes and squiggles. Writing and arrows and musical instruments are drawn all over the screen with pastel colors. Drum sticks are scribbled into the paws of unsuspecting pooches. It looks like some annoying kid colored all over the video. It is the biggest pile of cute I have ever seen.

I was surprised to find out someone in Korea made the “Jingle Pet Song.” The world contains many casserole-makin’, loud sweater-wearin’ Midwestern pet lovers with way too much time on their hands. I expected one of them would be the culprit. I know this because some of them are my relatives, and their musical-pet work can also be seen online. I can’t help myself: This video is so completely, unbelievably ridiculous, and it makes me so uncomfortable, I can’t look away. What can I say, I like uncomfortable things. If you need something to take your mind off the stressful driving/pushing/spending/sweating/arranging of the holiday season, I highly recommend “Jingle Pet Song.” It will almost immediately turn you into a smiling, drooling, completely relaxed shell of your former self.

 
Join our mailing list for exclusive info, the week's events and free stuff!
 

  • Select sidebar boxes to add below. You can also click and drag to rearrange the boxes; close using the little X icons on each box. To re-add a box you closed, return to this menu.
  • Because you are not logged in, any changes you make to these boxes will vanish as soon as you click to another page. If you log in, the boxes will stick.
  • alibi.com
  • Latest Posts
  • Web Exclusives
  • Recent Rocksquawk Discussions
  • Recent Classifieds
  • Latest User Posts
  • Most Active Users
  • Most Active Stories
  • Calendar Comments
  • Upcoming Alibi Picks
  • Albuquerque
  • Duke City Fix
  • Albuquerque Beer Scene
  • What's Wrong With This Picture?
  • Reddit Albuquerque
  • ABQ Journal Metro
  • ABQrising
  • ABQ Journal Latest News
  • Del.icio.us Albuquerque
  • NM and the West
  • New Mexico FBIHOP
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • Only in New Mexico
  • Mario Burgos
  • Democracy for New Mexico
  • High Country News
  • El Grito
  • NM Politics with Joe Monahan
  • Stephen W. Terrell's Web Log
  • The Net Is Vast and Infinite
  • Slashdot
  • Freedom to Tinker
  • Is there a feed that should be on this list? Tell us about it.
    DUM DUM GIRLS / EX-COPS
    DUM DUM GIRLS / EX-COPS11.11.2014