Alibi V.14 No.10 • March 10-16, 2005 

Odds & Ends

Scott Rickson

Dateline: England—The Queen, apparently, does not rock. Legendary guitarists Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and Brian May were all attending a party at Buckingham Palace last Tuesday when they were approached by Queen Elizabeth II, who asked, “And what do you do?” Clapton later told reporters that it was great to meet her and it doesn't matter at all that she didn't know who they are or what they do. The quartet of famed rockers were at Buckingham Palace to celebrate the announcement of a new prize, the Queen's Medal For Music, which will reward musicians who have had an impact on Britain. The award will be given out on Nov. 22, the memorial day of St. Cecilia, patron saint of music.

Dateline: Connecticut—A woman is suing the city of Norwalk for failing to lessen her exposure to perfume and cologne. As reported in The Advocate newspaper, plaintiff Linda Gorman, who works at the Norwalk town clerk's office, is seeking an unspecified amount of monetary damages and attorney's fees. Her problems allegedly started in March 2002 when town clerk Andrew Garfunkel hired a temporary staffer whose choice of perfume made Gorman ill. Garfunkel issued a memo asking employees not to wear perfume or cologne, but later amended his policy to state that body lotions and detergents could be used in moderation as long as they could not be detected within five feet of Gorman. Nonetheless, Gorman says she continued to encounter employees who smelled as well as the members of the general public who insisted on coming into the town clerk's office. The aromas were so strong to Gorman that she says she had to get a prescription allergy medicine. Gorman's lawsuit claims that her allergies constitute a disability and that she has been discriminated against under the Americans With Disabilities Act.

Dateline: Florida—A former topless dancer who was famously cleared of assaulting a Florida nightclub patron with her oversized breasts is now auctioning off the offending implant on eBay. The woman known professionally as Tawny Peaks was sued in 1998 by a patron of the Diamond Dolls nightclub in Clearwater saying he suffered whiplash when the well-endowed entertainer swung her breasts into his face during a bachelor party. The man said the weapons were “like two cement blocks.” The case went all the way to syndicated justice show “The People's Court,” where host/former New York Mayor Ed Koch ordered a female bailiff to examine Peaks in private. When the bailiff found the breasts to be “soft” and to weigh about two pounds each, Koch refused to award damages. Peaks underwent breast reduction surgery on her artificially enhanced 69-HH chest in 1999 after retiring from the entertainment business. She recently found the implants in her closet and put one, which she promises to autograph, up for auction. After nearly a week, bids had topped $100.

Dateline: Wisconsin—A woman in Sheboygan was sentenced on Monday to 60 days in jail for digging up her boyfriend's cremated remains and partying with them. Karen Stolzmann, 44, is believed to have dug up the ashes of her former lover, Michael Hendrickson, at a cemetery out of spite for his family. Hendrickson died 10 years ago of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Stolzmann apparently lived with Hendrickson and was with him when he shot himself. Both were married to other people at the time, however. Hendrickson's relatives contacted authorities last fall after discovering his remains were missing. Detectives searched Stolzmann's home, found her hiding in the shower and located the remains in her garage. Stolzmann, who was charged with concealing stolen property, also drank a six pack of beer and smoked a pack of cigarettes that had been interred with Hendrickson.

Dateline: Alabama—Joseph Hammock, 69, a landlord in Georgia stands accused of settling an eviction dispute with a tenant the old-fashioned way--by breaking a window and tossing a tear gas grenade into the residence. Hammock was taken into custody on Feb. 16 after a 1:30 a.m. altercation at the Lanett rental property. Police say the tenant was not injured. According to Lanett Police Chief Ron Docimo, Hammock was later arrested on an unrelated arson charge after deputies found additional materials for building explosive devices and literature for survivalist techniques at Hammock's West Point residence.

Dateline: Tennessee—A naked man covered in nacho cheese caught by police last summer in Maryville pleaded guilty last Monday to burglary, theft, vandalism, indecent exposure and public intoxication. Michael David Monn was given three years supervised probation by Blount County Circuit Court Judge D. Kelley Thomas following his plea bargain with prosecutors. Early on the morning of July 18, 2004, Monn “was highly intoxicated, broke into the John Sevier Pool snack bar area, stole some snacks and did some damage and was caught naked with some stolen snacks.” A police officer found the naked Mr. Monn in the pool's parking lot with nacho cheese covering his hair, face and shoulders. Officers found clothes and an open bottle of vodka in Monn's nearby Jeep. Monn was allegedly celebrating his 23rd birthday.

Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to