Odds & Ends
Eric J. Garcia
Dateline: China--Local officials in China have been criticized for spraypainting a barren mountainside green. Laoshou Mountain, near Fumin in the Yunnan province, was left an eyesore by quarrying. Instead of reforesting the mountainside, officials simply hired seven workers for 45 days to spraypaint it green. Nearby villagers have been driven from their homes by the strong smell of paint, reports City Times. “At first I was glad to see the green mountain, thinking the government was paying more attention to the environment,” local businessman Huang was quoted as saying. “But then I noticed the great contrast with the surrounding mountains.” Another villager complained, “We thought the workers were here to spray pesticides before planting saplings. But it turned out to be green paint.”
Dateline: Australia--Phillip Kerkhof did perform the amazing feat of catching a 4-foot shark with his bare hands over the weekend, but admits he only did it because he was drunk. The 41-year-old bricklayer had been to the local pub for “a fair few vodkas” before going fishing with friends from a jetty at Louth Bay, on the Eyre Peninsula. When he spotted the 4-foot bronze whaler shark, he climbed down a ladder and followed the shark as it swam around the jetty. He then stripped off his clothes and jumped into the water. “It was a bit of a fluke. I just got behind the shark and I went for a big grab,” Mr. Kerkhof said. “I guess you could say that it was the vodka spurning me on.” After a short wrestling match, Kerkhof hauled the shark on to the jetty, to the cheers of his watching mates. His only injury was a scratch where the shark bit a hole in his jeans. Mr. Kerkhof said after sobering up the next day he realized that he had been “a bit of an idiot.”
Dateline: Arizona--Three schools in the north Phoenix suburb of Cave Creek were in lockdown for about 45 minutes last Wednesday after an alleged Batman sighting. A student at Desert Arroyo Middle School reported seeing a person dressed as Batman run across campus, jump a fence and disappear into the desert, Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said. The student described the person as 6 feet 3 inches tall and possibly a male. “We’re assuming it was male, although they did have a mask on,” Clark said. Naturally, police went into high alert at the sight of the caped crusader. Officers combed the desert around the middle school. A nearby elementary school and high school were also placed on lockdown. No superheroes were located. “It’s just one of those interesting little stories that we looked into, but we couldn’t find anyone,” admitted Clark.
Dateline: Washington--A Seattle woman was in shock this week after realizing that her groomer had snipped off her dog’s ear and Superglued it back on hoping no one would notice. Anni Sheriffius made the discovery when she took her shih tzu Jasmine home from the groomer and spotted what she thought was dirt on the dog’s ear. Unfortunately, the appendage came loose as the owner was washing her pet. “I saw the ear float away, and it freaked me out,” she told reporters. Sheriffius quickly put the ear in a plastic bag and rushed it to the vet. Her dog has since been treated for an infection stemming from the incident. Police are looking into potential charges against the unlicensed groomer. “Once they tried to hide it and glued the ear back on, that’s not good for the dog,” said Det. Ed Troyer of the Pierce County Sheriff’s Department. The store where the alleged incident is believed to have happened has since shut down, and the groomer in question has disappeared.
Dateline: Connecticut--A Danbury man’s plans to get himself bailed out of jail went a bit wrong last weekend, resulting in his being busted twice for drug possession. State police said that Nakia Davis, 32, had his aunt bring a small safe to the Southbury barracks in order to cover his bail. Inside the safe was $5,000 in cash--plus several pieces of drug paraphernalia and 16 grams of cocaine. Davis had been pulled over for speeding on Interstate 84 in Southbury earlier in the evening. With the help of a police dog, marijuana was seized from the car, and police found 43 baggies of cocaine weighing 48 grams when they patted Davis down. After being taken to jail, Davis arranged for his aunt to bring the small safe containing his bail money. Unfortunately, when Davis’ aunt opened the safe in front of a state trooper, the drug paraphernalia and the cocaine fell out. Additional drug charges were filed against Davis and his bond was increased to $125,000.
Compiled by Devin D. O'Leary. E-mail your weird news to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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